I posted last week about how I can't live with my husband's horribly trained dog any more. it's been 3 years and my husband has done nothing to improve the dog's behavior. I'm 7 months pregnant and I finally asked him to take the dog to live with his mother (an arrangement she has said she'd be fine with). he took the dog but ignored me all weekend and slammed a door in my face when I tried to talk to him. I am staying with a friend, but my husband has not contacted me at all. How long do I wait this out? He clearly resents me for making the dog go, but it had been three years of asking for change and seeing none, so I resent him too. I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon (which I always intended to go to alone,) but he hasn't even contacted me to ask how it went (everything is fine). I need to go home and grab more clothes but I'm not sure what to do now. Do i stay away and give him time? Do I move back into our home?
just a recap: the dog has knocked me over twice, he jumps, he claws, he snaps at your face, he begs, etc. and my husband rewards this behavior instead of correcting it. I'm "mean" and the bad guy for trying to train him. His dog came before me, but I don't want an untrained rambunctius dog around our baby. He's scratched me pretty badly and I don't want him to scratch the baby or knock him out of my arms or something. he also likes to snap at things below him (like if he's standing and you're lying on the ground, he will snap at your face). I tried to teach basic obenience for 3 years to no avail. it was all undone by my husband.
- Stay away until he contacts youVote A
- Move home and try to talk again (even though he slammed a door in my face last time I tried)Vote B
- Move home and wait for him to talk to meVote C
Most Helpful Guy
Considering that his dog was part of his life before you were, i think it would be retarded to divorce him over this. I mean I've been reading the comments, and it sounds like you've practically got the divorce papers ready. I'm not sure who counselled you before you before you got married, but in case no one told you this... marriage is HARD. You don't just jump into it and start sailing on clouds. A good marriage takes some work, and actual effort.
From what I see here, I'm not convinced that both of you put in enough effort here. I believe you when you say that the dog is a mess, and that he probably enables it. But when you say things like he's contributed nothing to your relationship, i really don't buy it. But in terms of this dog, my suggestion would be (assuming that you actually love this guy and aren't wasting people's time here by making us think that there's a possibility that you won't divorce him) to offer up a sacrifice of your own, to show that you are in it with him, not against him. Using your pregnancy as a bargaining chip to have things done your way 100% won't convince him to actually do it. People generally like to be seen and treated like an equal, and so you can't talk down to him like a sub human because he has a love for his dog that you don't understand.
Ultimately, i believe your son, and your family in general is more important than the dog, and change does need to happen. But you need to bring about this change in a responsible manner. Stop looking to him and thinking "fuck this guy, let him come to me, let him make the first move... im not sacrificing anything, and i dont want him to get everything he wants." This is 2nd grade playground talk. As i stated above, find something of equal importance to you as his dog is, and offer to give it up if he takes the dog to his mothers place. If he agrees, then i would get some counselling, because it sounds like you two need it...0