Your are engaged!! Now what?

After five years, he asked the question... finally! and I said... yes!! We were so happy and I am so excited!! but the very next day. He had a lot to drink and we got into a disagreement and he told me... I drink, I gamble, I watch sports all day and guess what I am not going to change. I was heart broken. I do not want to be with someone like that even though I knew he was drinking and gambling. I do not know what to do. But for sure do not like to live the rest of my life with someone that is so negative.


0|0
2|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • if you don't want to be with someone who drinks and gambles you should be engaged to them or with them. I mean that's really all there is to it. please don't ignore the red flags in your relationship and not address them.

    basically there are one of two things that can happen. he can quit the drinking and gambling or scale it back to a level you deem ok OR you can just get over it (that is not meant to sound rude just a reality)... otherwise if neither of you is willing to change your perspective (and you are entitled to yours) you should really re-consider the engagement

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • Pack your bags and run, run far, and run fast.
    This relationship is headed for disaster. I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.
    It sounds like he has an addictive personality. So the drinking and gambling will only get worse. It will lead the two of you to financial ruin. Probably leading to divorce and you will get saddled with a portion (possibly half) of his debt. And hopefully there won't be children involved.

    You will not be able to change his obsessions. Only he can. And it does not sound like he is anywhere near wanting to do that.

    Getting out now will hurt. But not as much if it's done after you're married.

    Sorry

    0|0
    0|0
  • You probably just caught him at a bad time, that seems like he said something very out of character for the 5 years you knew him. I'm guessing you were living together beforehand? If so, it's unlikely he decided to wait till you were engaged to let you know the truth. People say things they regret in argument.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Give the ring back and move on if that is how you feel. No reason to drag things on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • As long as he's working, and not spending all of his paycheck on gambling, it's OK to do those things. You have to ask yourself if you are in love with him though. You obviously are buttttt, really? I mean, really ask yourself that

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • You've been together for 5 years, then his negativity and actions shouldn't be a surprise to you. Getting married won't change him. Deal with, accept him as he is or move on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Surely if you've been together 5 years you know what he is really like? Do you live together? Maybe he was just drunk and angry.

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...