Is requiring a guy to ask for a girls hand in marriage sexist?

By requiring I mean either it's the dads belief or there's an overall societal sentiment.

I know what I think, but I'm curious about the gag community.

  • That's sexist
    22% (2)22% (2)22% (4)Vote
  • It's not sexist
    56% (5)67% (6)61% (11)Vote
  • other. explain
    22% (2)11% (1)17% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
I'm not sure if it was clear. I mean ask her dad for her hand

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it has a bit of a sexist sentiment like most things involving marriage/weddings. That being said it's also just kind of a respectful thing to do, maybe not to ask but to give a heads up.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Is it sexist for a guy to ask a girl to marry him? No.

    Is it sexist for a guy to ask a father for his daughter's hand in marriage? Eh, maybe you could argue that. Some girls think it's romantic to know he has the approval of her father before he asks her. As long as he doesn't sit down with her dad and be like, "Well sir, I'll trade you three calves, a goat, and four ears of corn for your daughter, sound fair?" I think he's good lol.

    Girls can and do ask their boyfriends to marry them. It's not as common but I think it's on the rise.

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    • Yeah by ask for her hand, I meant ask her dad.

    • I personally think it's kind of sweet for him to ask my dad. I told my boyfriend I wanted him to ask my dad. I hold my father in a great deal of respect, as he is a great man and raised me well, but, gonna be honest, if he says no (he wouldn't) but if he did, I'd still marry the guy anyway lol

    • Yeah that makes sense.

  • To me, simply asking the girl's father for her hand is not sexist. It's also not required, although that depends on cultural and religious norms. My fiance did not ask my dad for permission to marry me - he was confident that dad would be on board right from the start.

    What is sexist to me is the paying of a bridal dowry or an exchange of property for the girl's hand in marriage. Again, that comes down to cultural practices and I believe this happens mostly with arranged marriages.

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  • I think it's courteous and chivalrous. Nobody knows their child like the parents, and you'd be becoming a part of the family, so you don't want resentment on anyone's part. I think it's a very respectful and respectable thing to do :)

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  • I'd have no problem with a guy informing my parents that he'd like to ask me to marry him, but as far as getting their permission? No thank you. That's my decision not my parent's. Seeing as I don't want to be formall married, I'd hope I never run into this problem.

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  • I don't think it is because men usually control commitment in relationship, so it makes sense that they would ask that question. Women generally want to get married sooner, so if they asked, it could be much sooner than the man was ready for. But I guess women control sex, & men ask for it instead of letting women ask for it when they're ready. So, I can see a double standard there.

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  • Sign of respect which is important. Especially for girls who are daddy's girls - we need to know that they approve.

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What Guys Said 2

  • At one point in time it might have had sexist undertones, but nowadays I don't see any problem with it. It's a social construct, sure, but it's not a social comment on whether or not women are capable or worthy of proposing.

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    • Shit, I meant ask her dad for her hand.

    • Show All
    • Yeah your update is totally hidden below the poll options. :-/

    • If it's absolutely required then I don't think I'd be cool with that. Like, I's still ask, but it would just be ceremonial in nature, and I would ask my partner first. So I guess with the way that I've worded my response, I do see how it would be a little sexist to require that. Wish I could change my vote. LOL

  • It is sexist for a woman to expect a guy to get down on one knee to propose, or to require a an engagement ring? These are just traditions that have been handed down. There is no reason to go looking for sexist undertones.

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    • I meant is having to ask for the fathers permission sexist.

    • I know what you were asking. It is a tradition in most places, but is not enforced. It shows respect for her family, and that you intend to make an effort to get along with your new family. Unless you are in a place where a law requires it, then it isn't sexist. A woman can marry whoever she wants without her fathers approval.

    • Okay, thanks

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