Why do some promiscuous women even try to get married, don't they understand they aren't desirable as wives when the man finds out about their past?

I feel like these women should give up and be honest with their husbands about their past or just give up on marriage completely.


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Most Helpful Guy

What Girls Said 11

  • Not all men care about a woman's sexual past... just because a woman has been promiscuous in her past doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to get married and have a family.

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    • Most do, you are fooling yourself to think men want a promiscuous woman.

      Men who only want sex obviously don't care. But the large majority of men who want a long term relationship want to know.

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    • If you were aiming that comment at me (the, "I'm not judging you" comment), I'm not even promiscuous... I've only had sex with one person in my whole life.

      I gave my answer based on the fact that I don't think someone's past should dictate if they should or should not marry. Of course everyone is entitled to their opinions though and if you don't want to marry a woman with a promiscuous past, that is your right. I'm simply saying not all men feel that way. That's all.

    • Alright alright, I got you and I respect your opinion.

      I've never dated a woman like the one I'm describing but I can't see why I one would date a woman or a man like the people I describe.

  • Why should it bother you so much? In some ways it might even be better that she's been with others before you. She knows what she wants and doesn't want, and after all those people, she picked you. She believes that she could spend the rest of her life with you. That's a huge commitment that she hadn't made with anyone else. It may bother you because you're insecure (I'm not trying to throw shade here). Do you worry that she'll compare you to past lovers? What happened in the past is in the past and there's very little someone can do about it. I think it's unfair for you to imply that any woman is unworthy of marriage just because she's "been around."

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  • I don't know about that. A friend of mine had an affair with a nursing director who was on her second marriage had two kids of her own. This was my friend's second affair so when his wife found out he got kicked out of the house. The nursing director told her husband she was having an affair so she got kicked out of the house too. Funny thing is, my friend wanted to keep it as an affair while still staying married to his first wife because he adores his kids. The nursing director wanted to marry him because he was an executive, well-educated and made a lot of money. When he got kicked out of the house he had no where to go, so the nurse told him to come live with her. I think he thought of it as somewhere to stay until he could get back on his feet. She was smarter and got pregnant. So he had no choice but to marry her.

    It's been 4 years now. I don't see him as happy, just getting by, and he misses his first kids so much to the point he bought his ex a house 10 blocks from his so he could see his kids every day. Personally, I think he lost big time.

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    • You prove my point, when they do get married then their marriages fail!!

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    • Obviously not you, but then again, you know what they say about women in their 30s , ; )

    • Who says I'm in my 30s... People lie on the net all the time...

  • The men don't always find out about their past. There is such a thing called lying. And what about promiscuous men? I know I don't want a man who's been digging around in too many places for gold.

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    • Yeah you sound like you'll end up in an insecure, unstable, dishonest relationship.

      Liars never win out over the honest or open relationships. Are you African American by the way?
      Let's see where that lying gets you in life you'll end up a stereotypical example of they image. A broken person because of a broken relationship which lies are normally a part of.

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    • How about you don't put race into any of this? K? Because race has nothing to do with this.

    • "Race is everything!"

  • Yes but same for guys

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  • Their PAST. Key word is their PAST. Past can be VERY different from their future.
    Promiscuity can be subjective too. It is not impossible for guys to have dated many women and then in their adulthood when they are more mature, realize they are ready to settle down raise a family with one woman and remain loyal. I don't think this can be impossible for promiscuous women to also do.

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    • "History (aka the past) is doomed to repeat itself."

      People (men and women) who have a lot of partners tend to have less successful and shorter relationships then prudent people with fewer partners and longer relationships.

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    • At Panzer103, I wish I could block people from anonymous questions.

    • I have known people personally who have turned their lives around. Otherwise I wouldn't have disagreed with the Asker of this question.

  • a lot of ex-hoes get married

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    • Yeah then divorced. Why do they lie just to get married?

      Live single and honestly than married and dishonestly.

  • But yet those same men have slept with twice as many women. It's Really stupid, it's just sex. Having ax doesn't make you a better or worse SO

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    • Yes it definitely does.

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    • Like you pointed out though, multiple studies have supported that their is strong evidence married people are happier than people who aren't.

    • I just know I change too much. In a year I'm a completely different person. I've never actually decided who I want I be. I hated being normal so much in high school, that I created alter egos. It was like an escape

  • Cause some guys aren't stupid

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    • So that 95% of guys that don't want a promiscuous women are not intelligent and the other 5% are smart.

      You're are the type of women who will probably not end up married. You might have Bfs who want a steady bedroom partner but once they want a wife and find out about your past they will leave you for a more classy woman. That's the unintelligent 95% of men.

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    • Hmm... I don't know I've never met a girl who I know for a fact is promiscuous. No relationship I've been in has gone far enough to know that.

      I don't think about promiscuity unless it's within the context of a long term situation. I just meet and date girls I think are nice to me.

      I don't know about their past, maybe it's bad to assume they aren't promiscuous because of the way they treat me.

    • Yeah, you can't tell if she's promiscuous honestly. I guess one indicator would be if she tries to sleep with you right away?

  • You can't make a whore a housewife. :)

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  • If a woman said this about men she'd be burned at the stake. Promiscuous men are equally as desirable as promiscuous women. So unless men are going to suddenly stop sleeping around don't expect it from the rest of the population.

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    • She wouldn't be burned at the stake. Promiscuous women aren't as desirable for the long term, plain and simple.

      Tell your boyfriend what you've done, try not hiding it. Try being with a man for 10, 15, 20, or even 25 years. A relationship built on lies and secrets is doomed.

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    • Good Luck, to ya!

      I hope he's faithful for another 7 more years.

    • I agree with you.

What Guys Said 8

  • Because people change and want different things at different times in their lives. Sometimes they may make a mistake, either about what they wanted (getting married/commitment) or they just make a mistake. Many people ", not just women, who weren't promiscuous in their youth also get divorced and have affairs. Just as there are those who were promiscuous and go on to have totally stable relationships. You may not realize that divorce itself is on the rise across the world, this has more to do with people not letting themselves being restricted by social norms as many older generations have allowed. It is simply the current trend in human behaviour as a whole. I personally know a girl who is very promiscuous though she is never dishonest about it and never makes a commitment she know she will not keep to anyone. Yet she's often talked about her later life and her happiness there involves raising children. To her the man is less important but if she meets someone who she thinks she can be with for a long time then she said she would certainly give that a try. People take risk, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. Many times people cheat in a relationship it is because that relationship is missing something they need.

    Humans like to have sex and many different factors affect who with and why we have sex. we also have many different personalities and styles of living, more than many of us are aware and far not common than you'd think.

    That said I'm also sure many people start marriages and know they will not be faithful, be it they are using the person or what have you. But because this is sometimes the case it isn't fair to generalize, and it's especially not fair to generalize only to one gender.

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    • You're are right statically speaking though, people who are more "conscientious" engage in fewer relationships which last longer versus people who engage in many relationship thee don't last long tend to be less "conscientious". That's not a coincidence, there's a connection.

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    • They are free to explore their sexuality without life altering implications (children excluded). And exploring your sexuality is a natural human behaviour.

      If you would like your future spouse to not have had such a period in her life, then accepting a woman who has would be settling for you. But don't think that this absolutely means that she is a cheater. That is a totally unfair judgement to have. Being promiscuous and being a someone who cheats are two different things. Do they overlap sometimes? Sure. Are there many instances of non promiscuous girls cheating, yes. And vice virsa to each.

      Long term monogamous relationships are by no means gone. But what makes
      More sense? The increase in divorce rates are because more women are "sluts" now than ever? Or that because of their increased freedom females can behave how they are more naturally inclined to do?
      In fact research done by Dr Helen Fischer (I think that's her) implies that after about 12 years, couples tend

    • To enter a period where one or both experience a decrease in their affections for one another. This is thought to be so because generally after 12 or so years a child would not have as immediate a need for both parents to be present as it becomes more independent. In her study the couples that made it past this generally stayed together for a much longer time after.

      To summarize, women have more freedom to explore their sexuality, as men have always been free to do. It isn't fair to fault them for acting naturally.

  • If she's hot sweet and doesn't cheat, she'll get offers easily.

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  • Wow such judgement!

    I don't ask her about her past because honestly, who cares? As long as her number doesn't increase while she's with me, I see no issues.

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  • Promiscuity is not an indication of morality/immorality. Those same women who enjoyed sex with different partners are still moral, if there was no cheating involved. They are still capable of being faithful to one partner they finally decide to stay with.

    I lived with one woman who'd had a wild past. She'd even jumped in the car naked and driven a few miles to get some hot sex. She was 100% faithful in a long term relationship.

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    • THAT YOU KNOW OF!

    • If I saw you face to face, I'd have to bash you for that comment. If I didn't bash you, her son would probably kill you and bash me (even though we're good friends).

  • I have no idea. I certainly wouldn't want to marry a door mat. It would hurt horribly to find out the one you love as much as possible was at one point a casual guck for dozens of guys. Really takes the polish right off of her. :(

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  • What works for you doesn't for others..

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  • Can you first define what is promiscuous in your terms? And should they ask you first for permission?

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  • Ill take her as long as she's clean and is tight still :)

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    • I can't tell if you're lying about your age or simply not mature enough to see how teenage-like and even how shallow your answer is.
      Which is it?
      No actual values in the character of a woman. Men like you shouldn't get married if they'll deem a woman wife material based on their tightness.
      Not that all marriages are religious but they do operate under values of morality. Which you ignore.

      Why find a wife just sleep around and stay single all your life if all you care about is tightness.

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    • you're just butthurt because I dont agree with you.

    • No, I'm just shocked a man your age has the maturity level of someone much younger than he is.

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