WHY is he treating me like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

He's been drifting from me for years now. but lately my husband has been soooo unbelievably mean! I always believe its never ONE person's fault but BOTH people are at fault in a marriage and I'm done with being miss mary sunshine all the time. I bake for all his friends at work on b days to make HIM look good, if that makes sense, I buy him little gifts here and there to make him know how special he is and how thankful I am of his hard work. I try to look very pretty have the kids happy and trained for him, and he treats me bad! today I didn't park where he wanted to, because I SUCK at parking and didn't want to make an arce out of myself infront of his friends, so I parked a bit away where I was more comfortable not hitting cars or people for that matter and he yells at me, slams the door and shouts "What a B!tch" really loud then when we were getting stuff at a store he got mad because I parked TOO closeto the next car, gets out slams the door and calls me an asshole, while he was in there he didn't know I could see but he was flirting with the girl at the desk! leaning over her desk and all! I asked him later on when I was calm and he got all p*ssed at me then I asked what wrong why is he in such a bad mood and he got mad again... bad days are acceptable, name calling, NOT acceptable! WHY the heck would he be treating me like this? What should I do? (no he's not stressed and I don't think he's cheating, if that helps) Thank you in advanced

Updates:
lol as today progressed and I let all my feelings on the table in a calm mature way, he now is playing the VICTIM role, and "everything is his fault" and "you hate me" crap to make me feel bad. UGH! WHY act like this? come on!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Whew...I could feel your painful position in that question. How long have you been married? Too long? He's treating you like he'd like you gone and it seems clear from your words that he doesn't think so highly of you. Too bad. Not sure how deep to probe on this website. Does he have any guy griends that you can speak to away from him? Does he insist on getting together with single guys regularly? The flirting with other girls is really a separate point, only supporting that he is not an assh_le to every girl. Losing his temper about parking? Who gives a hoot about parking? Still... what a piece of work.

    Good luck.

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    • Yeah.. I agree, and thank you very much for answering for me :-) means a lot to me. We will be married 2 years in november. he has some guy friends from work I can talk to but I feel weird I wouldn't know what to say?

    • So sorry to hear, two years is NOTHING on the cosmic scale. You might want to seek better counsel than we're able to offer here. Really. Good luck.

What Guys Said 2

  • wow he needs to treat you better... if I were you I would not take that from your husband. He needs to value all that you do for him. You shouldn't let him feel like he is the more dominant one. I don't know, try taking a break from each other and tell him how you feel, and even if he gets p*ssed off, screw him because you don't deserve to be treated that way. He has no right to be mad. Anyway, I hope things work out.

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  • That's a tricky situation and I hope you manage to find a resolution. Possibly giving him some space and independance may help? I don't know you or your husband's personalities, but I for one like to do things for myself and be left alone to do 'man things' (like DIY, hobbies, surfing the net) without being 'mothered' (I'm not implying that you do mother your man, but it is a common cause of relationship problems). Perhaps the advice of a marriage guidance counsellor would be more helpful than the advice of unqualified strangers?

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    • Thank you for your comment. we go to marriage counseling already.. lol..

    • Hmmm...I get the feeling that it would be time to move on in that case, you've clearly done all you can and he's just not reciprocating. You definitely deserve better. I hope you manage to find your Prince Charming in the end!

What Girls Said 1

  • maybe you guys need a little time apart just to miss each other a bit. he seems aggravated by something but that never justifies name calling... I really hope you put that in check because it seems he did it more than once... did you ever think that maybe you're too available (I know he's your husband but once you let someone know you'll wait on them hand and foot, they start to abuse you).. you should find something to occupy your time WITHOUT HIM and without the kids if that's possible... you'll get a much needed break from him and he'll get a much needed break from you. whatever you do, don't tell him the details of your activity because he seems like the type that gets comfortable with knowing your every move but you never knowing his. the way he's heading, cheating doesn't seem that far off.. it kind of seems like every little thing you do is p*ssing him off, almost like he's trying to give himself a reason to cheat... at least that's what my father started to do to my mother before he cheated... just a theory. just give him some space and one night, surprise him with something sexy (something you know he'll like) like setting up the bedroom like a personal strip club and let loose on em lol itll show him that you're not only his wife, you're also a sex goddess... be creative.. if he still acts like an ass to you, you know its definitely NOT your fault, its HIS...

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    • Ive tried everything, and thank you for answering honey that means a lot to me too! I used to be a exotic dancer so I've done those moves on him before, he never appreciates it, so I stopped, and having sex with him is the last thing I will be doing. I used to always give it to him no matter what, because I think no man should go without now I can careless. I litterally tried everything.. I think you're right, he's sick of me

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    • I agree. distance yourself a little with your own friends and don't tell him all the details. he does seem like the kind who gets TOO comfortable when he knows your every mood. I hate to see this since you're married with kids and I really really hope that he shapes up. but if not, you shouldnt have to put up with this and don't want your kids to think its okay either :-/ good luck. KEEP US UPDATED!

    • I meant knows your every MOVE not mood. lol

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