Is it bad that the whole idea of marriage seems completely pointless and a turn off to me?

So this may sound harsh, but it's just how I view things. Marriage just isn't for me. I look a the news, reports, and studies and the more I look or read the more turned off by marriage I am. It seem that if all goes wrong then all the odds are stacked against the guy. For example if a wife cheats and gets pregnant and the husband doesn't find out before having his name put on the birth certificate he stuck paying for a man's kid even after it declared he isn't the father.

It doesn't matter how cute and perfect the girl is. I'm going to be upfront and tell her I'm never getting married and at that point it's he place to decide to stay or go. And if she chooses to go then fine, I'm not going to loss sleep over it. I do have the right to the ideal live that's best for me. But is it a bad thing I think that way?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I completely agree with you, and I don't blame you. A circular piece of metal, and a scrap of paper don't guarantee loyalty or fidelity, and with the ideals of premarital sex or living with your boyfriend having been completely reshaped in recent years, marriage seem obsolete. Also. my boyfriend was the victim of birth certificate child support fraud, and under the laws when he was married to his ex, if you sign a "paternity affidavit" you waive your rights to contest child support later on. She had cheated on him with 47 different guy within the first year they were married, and he didn't find she had ever cheated at all until his second kid came out looking like his step brother. When he threatened to file for custody when he left her, she revealed that the first baby wasn't his either.

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    • Oh Jesus if that ever happened to me I'd lose my shit. 47 guys in the first year? That's almost one every week? How does someone marry someone like that? There had to have been warning signs beforehand, right?

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    • That's basically what I'm saying asker. Trust none until they give you a reason to trust them.

    • I agree. But if you never take chances, or if you're too closed off, then you won't see the good in others. I've been hurt and used a lot too, and it took me a long time to find the right balance of skepticism and logic.

What Girls Said 2

  • There is nothing wrong with having an opinion against marriage, just like there is nothing wrong with having an opinion for marriage. The important thing is to follow your heart, and listen to what it tells you. Also, know that just because you feel one way today, feelings can change over time. I'm not saying that your feelings will change, but you should know that it is important to be receptive to change, just in case it does occur. Marriage is a big deal, and if you never truly feel comfortable with the idea, forcing it on yourself will only cause it to end horribly. Marriage is perfect for those who choose it, but that doesn't mean it is the only way to show your love, devotion, and commitment to your mate.

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  • Lol so you are saying that even if you don't get married but fall in love and she ends up pregnant by cheating - you don't know and you sign the birth certificate... that because you weren't married it isn't your responsibility any more? Mmmm... Or are you just refusing to sign any birth certificate regardless of its likely hood to be your child?

    Marriage is sacred and when you meet someone that understands that - I am sure that you will be happy together and in love.

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    • Me personally I would never sign a birth certificate until I'm 100% sure it mine. And the pregnancy is just both one example I've seen.

    • ... I have a hard to believing that a woman who is faithful and loves you to the point to want a family of your own together - I doubt she will have an easy time swallowing the thought you'd be skeptic about her loyalty and want a paternity test...

      Maybe you should just find a cynical person like yourself. They'd understand. Not sure how trust develops there but. Hey.

    • Then if they how they feel so be it. Believe it or not it's not uncommon for a faithful woman to turn into an unfaithful one. The same goes for men as well. No matter how well you know a person they can still do things that surprise you.

What Guys Said 2

  • Not bad at all. It means you're rational. Congrats

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  • I think it depends on where you live. I have heard in some places you can sign the birth certificate, but you still have a small window of opportunity to get a DNA test, and be resolved of any responsibility if you are not the father. This would mean you could have a DNA test performed, while you are assumed to be the father without your wife knowing. That way you avoid the fight about your not trusting her. You would need to check the laws in your area to make sure.

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