Has the need for marriage kind of gone away?

It used to be most couples got married and some before having kids but now you see a lot of people not getting married at all or getting married after having a kid
has the societal need for marriage before kids kind of gone now


Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly I doubt the people having kids without being married were intending on that. I think those people were just being careless and chose not to get an abortion for personal reasons. Some couples marry after having a kid for the sake of the child really.

    The need for marriage has gone down due how much the system has been exploited. In this case, it was mostly women exploiting the system. This doesn't mean women are bad or anything, it just means these guys got stuck with the bad apples who used the courts to profit off of them and leave them in really bad financial situations while they profit at their expense without any conscience to it. There are cases of men exploiting women financially, but it's nowhere near as common as women are usually hypergamous when it comes to marrying a man. You can tell because they'll act extremely offended in cases where the guy won't marry without a prenup.

    Divorces are insanely ugly and a lot of people growing up in divorced households see the issues that arise. I grew up and my parents got divorced but luckily it was far more civil and they went through mediation. When I see divorces like what my stepdad went through it was ugly. It wasn't the yelling fighting kind (at least from what I saw) but it was one all about the money. The ex-wife would revise small lines in the divorce papers just to force it to go back into a review and this was done to drag the process out so she can remain legally married to him thus collect more money from him. Long story.

    It's around the age of 25 that dating changes for a lot of people. During the college days people focus on studies and such, but when people start living on their own and having careers people look at many things when dating that they never looked at when they were younger. They start looking at thins like yearly income, living conditions, etc.


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Guys Said 5

  • The 'need' for marriage is probably gone. It was based on the old sex-for-support exchange between men and women. Men would provide for and protect the woman and their children and the woman would take care of the home and also him (wink wink). Kinda depressing when you think about it.

    Nowadays, women often earn more than men and they don't need a man to fend off raiders (they've the police for that). While men have a lot of one night stands and an infinite amount of p*rn as an alternative (and I mean infinite).

    But still the desire to marry hasn't gone away. And I doubt it ever will. No matter what they say, I honestly believe that most people would choose a happy marriage with the person they love over other ways of life. It offers support and stability that p*rn and one night stands just can't compete with.

    People don't need to marry before kids anymore but most of us (esp. me) would get suckered in by the promise of love and support from a person you completely trust. I've my doubts and issues with modern marriage (similar to the other guys who've answered) and there'll be times where I say things lke "F##k marriage", "love is fake" and "I'll never be tied down" but I know that the next time I fall in love with a woman I'll go all idealistic, forget all the other crap and start planning the perfect proposal. I'm a sap like that.

  • really? i thought people still marry... which i find it totally stupid. i hate marriage

  • why get married to begin with? The guy gains nothing by getting married. If anything, he sets himself up for disaster.

  • There was never any need to get married.

    But now it's so obviously pointless, and actually a real bad deal for men especially, that it's become unpopular

    • lol it's like a horrible deal for men now. Stupid feminist white women love that though, the worst of a deal it gets for men and the better of a deal it gets for themselves the more they like it.
      Back in the day there was strong religion and women wouldn't have sex until marriage, that sort of made marriage occur. But now it's not like that and marriage really does seem useless and unless you want to give a woman your balls and pray she doesn't divorce you and take all your stuff. lol

  • You stupid women in the reason but I am sure you will blame men for it all. It doesn't really matter because you can't force men to marry your horrible asses to you caused you own problem here. Remember 50% divorce rate in the USA where 70% are initiated by the woman.
    Maybe if you stupid feminists didn't divorce men at the drop of a hat and take all their money and use it like a weapon against them then men might actually be willing to marry more and not be so scared or it.

    So you only have yourselves to blame. Of course you blame men, that's fine it won't change anything.

    • Maybe if you women didn't divorce men so much they would actually not be as scared as they are about marrying. You women have destroyed our society.
      This is why I am going to marry a foreign woman and you divorcing maniac feminist white women can ruin some other man's life.
      Before you claim foreign women divorce more go and look at the stats you liars. 20% for American men marrying foreign woman and 50% divorce rate if he marries an American woman.

    • so you're bitching at me for "blaming men" which I'm not even doing and your reaction to that is to blame women
      I asked if you think the whole need for marriage has gone
      so next time you wanna have a go at 50% of the population USE YOUR FUCKING HEAD DUMB ASS

    • Asker, everything this Opinion Owner said is true. Those statistics are real. If you marry an American women you might as well flip a coin on whether or not it will work, because half the time she's going to leave you. The divorce industry has been exploiting men for decades, women and their lawyers have essentially robbed millions of hard-working good men who fulfilled all their roles and met all societal expectations. It really is women's fault, mostly feminist women with a chip on their shoulder against men. Now stop calling him names unless you have an actual legit argument to make against what he said. You're the one being a dumbass here.

What Girls Said 6

  • I think it's based on the country and the environment where you live. In my environment, the need for marriage is still there really. Having sex before marriage is not usual in my environment. Most of my friends and even me, we strongly believed in sex after marriage.

  • I think, most people just don't want the eclipsexpense of a divorce, since you never know what might happen.

  • Well, the value of marriage has gone down since women generally don't need men anymore financially and men don't see a point to it either but non-monogamous relationships it isn't good for society. Look into polygamous or unmarried societies and there is nothing but crime among other things. I honestly don't want to get married but I should. Everyone should but the reason I don't want to get married is because the meaning of marriage today means marrying somebody for something very superficial.
    "She's hot! Let me marry her!"
    "He's rich! I'm going to marry him!"
    The high divorce rates in the US is what is stopping people the most I think.

  • I don't know about others, but I don't see a new to get married. Marriage doesn't mean you'll be together forever. But being together forever does. If you say you want to be with me forever, then show me. Let's due it, a piece of paper doesn't make me believe that; you do. So I might want to spend the rest of my life with you, but not get married

  • No. It's just with high divorce rates, people are more hesitant. Also, more people are putting careers ahead of having a family.

  • I agree with Riverock. Women don't NEED to get married anymore because we can work and support ourselves now and men can raise kids now there are plenty of single fathers nowadays. That was unheard of before if your wife died you immediately found your children a new mother and remarried. Now if your wife dies you take the lead and raise your kids until you fall in love again.

    But like Riverock said I think people will always have the want to get married even if they don't really need to anymore. Even if you are capable of raising your kids by yourself I think there's still going to be appeal to raising children together with someone else you love and trust

    • In a way, the fact that men and women don't need to get married could help both of them make better decisions as to who to marry. And also why.

      If a woman earns more than me, then she's not after my money.
      If a guy has plenty of chances to 'have his needs met' elsewhere, then he's probably not marrying for the sex (at least not just for the sex).

    • Show All
    • I'm sorry you had bad experiences with your Dad. My parents aren't divorced or seperated so you might know more than me. I don't know if it's the case in the US but in Europe, insurance companies used to charge men higher premiums for car insurance than women because we had more crashes but the European court decided this was discrimination and banned different premiums on the basis of gender. I think childrem are too important to just assume the guy is a worse parent. Besides it's wrong to do so. As you said there are plenty of terrible women out there who I wouldn't trust with a goldfish never mind a child, even if it is theirs. Same with men but they should be judged by their abilities as a parent nothing else. It's only fair to the Dad and the child.

    • All that said, people don't get married expecting a divorce. Love is worth a risk. I remember seeing a post on another site where a woman said guys who say they don't believe in marriage often meet a girl who "knocks them on their ass and makes them change their tune". Whenever she heard a guy say that, she'd shake their hand and promise to remind them of it at their wedding. I wouldn't mind that happening to me tbh ;)