Interracial marriage struggle?

I'm half Taiwanese and half Korean , and my wife is American, in fact she's white. We met in Sophomore year in high school. Back then, I wasn't expected to date outside of my race ; but eventually we started to date. We're both 24 years old. It's been 9 years; we had good times back then. We came from different backgrounds.

When we finish college, we introduced each other to our parents, her parents and mine are against the idea of us being together, they said that it won't work because we came from different cultures , and they said we're not good for each other, but her parents started to accepted me after few months. We're both Christians. My parents suggested me to marry one of their friends' daughters; one is Vietnamese, and the other one is Thai, but I refused to date one of them because I'm in love with my girlfriend.

At first, they thought I was going to break up in a couple months later , but when they realized that our relationship was getting serious, and we're engaged. They started to treat her horribly. When we got engaged, they said they're not coming to our wedding. Nowadays, my wife isn't allowed to come over to my parents house because they can't stand her. During holidays, I spend time with her parents and we had a good time together. We've been married 16 months and she's 6 months pregnant; twins 1 boy 1 girl. And I just don't understand why my family doesn't realize we're happy with our marriage. I want my parents be happy about it, but they won't. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand you cos I have many Korean Thai friends and I did kinda learn some stuff about your culture, first congratulation for your marriage and for the pregnancy ^^ and second, What I can advice you for now is : try to talk to them you know the oldest it's hard to make them understand if you use power, go to your parents tell them they will be a grandparents in 3 months, try to make them understand (nicely) that you are really happy in your marriage and rice isn't important when it's come to love, you can use the rice against them ;) Your father is Korean and your mom is Thai women right? so use that against them it's will help, try to talk to them about there marriage before yours, they are both from different rice and I bit both did pass from the same story as u so use that and I wish good luck for you am sure they wouldn't stay mad forever specially if they know u will have kids :)

    am sorry for my bad English

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    • It's Taiwanese , not Thai; it's part of china. But anyway I try

    • my mom is from Korea and my dad is from Taiwan

    • @Asker oh I see ^^ no horme will come from Trying :) and I wish you good luck :)

What Girls Said 4

  • I saw many interracial couples in my country and yes there are definitely cultural differences that both have to overcome with. I believe in give and take in a relationship too, both parties must work hard to maintain it.
    As for parents who are not happy with the relationship just because of skin colour, I am going to be an unfilial child and say I dont really care. I understand in Asian culture, filial piety is number 1 but I disagreed if parents go against a relationship because of that reason. Not as if we can choose what we are born into. Just be miore patience with them as elderly tend to be more stubborn in the way they think, your spouse has to work hard to gain your trust. Why not come out with some families activities to get everyone together?

    Btw, I am Asian

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  • I would simply mention you are half and half. Somewhere along the line someone else got married or had kids with a different culture.

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    • I don't get it

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    • Well either way. I hope you get my point t. You are half and half. Nothing wrong with adding an American to the mix.

    • Taiwanese and Korean are both Asian, they all have the same skin color. My parents don't want their grandchildren to get mix up with non-Asian skin color. I guess you not Asian you don't understand

  • When your wife gives birth to the babies, go all as a family and try.. I'm sure their heart will melt to see their grandchildren.

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  • They'll come round eventually. I'm bi racial to, and my parents got together when that just wasn't done. Both families disapproved and many even disowned my parents.
    They came round eventually. Once your parents see it's for real, it might even take years to see, but once they see, they will deal with it even if they still wish you had somebody from your race in the back of their minds.
    Tell them just be happy she's Christian and their grand children will be raised as good Christians.

    There really isn't much you can do, but wait for them to come round. You can't force them to think differently. Also, if I were you, I would tell them you and your wife and kids are coming as a package, either you're all there or you guys will spend Christmas together without them instead. You can't have kids in that kind of mess, you should try to be a unit.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I understand you wanting your parents and your wife to get along and be harmonious, but a lot of old traditional Asian parents are really stubborn and arrogant. They really will not change. I have heard this tale many times. It usually Asian parents wanting to be able to communicate with their childs partner, the feeling of their own kind is superior also factors in (A lot of older generation Asians care way too much about face.). there's always those who have immigrated to the states and dealt with some racism which causes them to resent some races.

    At the end of the day you're the one spending your life with her not them and let them know that. Tell em if they can't live with that then go fuck themselves. My parents used to be pretty racists and shady about me dating others specially towards black girls. I just told em straight up it's who ever the fuck I like and I'll even bring home a big black guy if I wanted to.

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  • I'm sorry to hear to your story.
    Bruce Lee's mother in law didn't accept him at first either, but once they had a child, she accepted him. I'm sure the same would happen to you; your children are their grandchildren.

    Good luck!

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  • Tell your parents to go fuck themselves and cut them off.

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    • that's silly

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    • I'm Asian (Taiwanese/Korean), my parents are fine with it if I marry an Asian woman from another ethnicity. But I chose I marry a non-Asian woman, so that the problem

    • I understand the situation, I have offered an appropriate solution, take the advice or not, your choice.

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