Girls, when/if you get married, are you going to keep your surname or take your husband's?

My fiancée and I have already agreed, even way before I actually proposed two weeks ago, that we were going to have the same surname McLellan. Her reasoning? because she doesn't like her and feels her own family name means little to her.

I've read that so-called feminists claim that this "tradition" of the bride taking the groom's surname only enlarges the gap between men and women, and causes "serious detriment to their careers when they change their names" ( http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-29804450 )

To be honest I've thought about taking my fiancée's name as it's more appealing than mine.

So girls, will you be keeping your surname?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I really like my surname... but I'd still want to take my future husband's. It's just special to me and symbolizes us being a team and sharing the same last name. Oh and it has nothing to do with feminism. What you're referring to is extreme feminism.

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    • I totally agree with you, it's a symbol of unity, love and companionship. However, ironically maybe, my parents chose to keep their surnames. I have yet to ponder why.

What Girls Said 17

  • Well, I identify more with feminist beliefs than traditional ones (I know, I know, bring your torches and your pitchforks :p) but I'll probably take his. There comes a point where it's just tradition and not necessarily a patriarchal attempt to "keep women down" or whatever.

    I feel like by sharing the same name it shows, at least on paper, a unified bond. You're Mr. and Mrs. Jones as opposed to Mr. Jones and Mrs. Smith. It shows a unified partnership.

    I really REALLY like my last name. Like, a lot. It's going to be hard to make the switch, but it'll probably happen lol.

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    • In regard to your career point. It's true to a point. Not in most careers, but in high profile ones, it is. If Suzie Smith makes a real name for herself and has a law firm named Smith and Co. and she gets married and changes her company to Jones and Co. It's going to lose recognition and client base.

      If it were my career though, it's not going to be as big of a deal. I can be Ms. M at a juvi center working with kids, get married, and then be Mrs. W at a juvi center working with kids. But in high profile positions it's way different.

    • But taking your husband's surname has never been something 'patriarchal', it's something that's been around for donkey's years, and women have almost always had the chance to revoke that tradition. If my fiancée wanted to keep her surname I wouldn't force her not to.

    • Hahaha you dont need to switch the comapany name when you get puplically known. You still run the company under the same name just not the one you switch to.

  • I think I will keep my surname but that isn't definitive yet. If it is somebody that I am 100% certain will never divorce me - I might consider changing my last name.

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    • Surely if you were to marry said person you'd be 100% certain of no divorce with him?

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    • Because YOU personally can make sure you don't marry somebody who will divorce you.

    • So you're telling me I can foresee myself not divorcing a woman that I'm 1000% sure I won't divorce in the first place. Shit happens, even to the best and strongest relationships.

  • if it were possible i'd choose to create a new surname, but if not then his, not because i like the idea of being a possession - i absolutely hate it, i just hate my father more, and thus i despise my surname despite it having a grand lineage, if i could have my mothers maiden name i would but you would find it weird or even funny if i translated what it meant to people..

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  • No, I will be taking my husband's last name (as long as he is okay with it) because I feel it ties us together more and it just makes me feel more like "his" so to speak. Also I have always been raised to take my husband's last name because that is the tradition.

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  • I'd take his name.

    I do agree however that changing your surname can be a hit to your career, which is why a lot of women whose name is closely tied to their career tend to keep it

    I also agree that the tradition behind it is a very chauvinistic one

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    • That's probably why my mum kept her's

  • Yeah I'll be taking his name. I like it a lot better than mine and when we have a kid, we will all have the same last name. Both of us come from more traditional cultures and it would be weird if we had two different names.

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    • Also congrats on getting engaged.

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    • Engaged :/ ... I've had many girls run off with money I have.

    • You're better off without girls like that.

  • I'm taking my fiancé's last name but I told him I plan on giving our children my last name as their middle name because I do feel close to it but don't necessarily liked having it as my last name.

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    • That's quite a good idea :)

    • I thought so. It's a cool name, it's the same last name as Dr. Suess but it's too hard for people to pronounce correctly so I'd rather make it a middle name.

  • I do love my surname very much because it's unique and it connects me to my heritage (from a specific part of the country, which I identify very strongly with). However, I'm still going to take my future husband's last name. It might be a bit sad to let go of my maiden name, but I think it'll be really wonderful to take on my husband's name and become part of his family :)

    (Besides, I'll keep my maiden name as my pen name - it's just too cool to give up completely!)

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  • Yea I would.

    One of my ex's had the last name Mcfee and he assumed when he married, the girl would probably keep her own surname. We were together for 2 years so obviously we talked about marriage.

    Personally, I think Mcfee isn't a nice surname but I liked the idea of sharing the same last name. My current boyfriend's surname is Morton-Jarvis.

    I have a habit of testing out my first name with other last names of previous partners 'possibilities' of getting married. Gemma Mcfee, Gemma Denman, Gemma Walker, Gemma Frost, Gemma Morton-Jarvis.

    I hope I'm not the only girl that does this...

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    • I've got that same habit haha :)

  • To be honest, I'd like to get rid of my family's surname. I don't like the association or the sound of the surname.

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    • May I ask your surname?

      I get a lot of hate from mine since it's Irish based :/

    • Sorry the surname is too distinctive.

      I'm part Irish too, but that isn't in my last name because it's my mother who is half-Irish.

  • Um, well im honestly a lesbian (please no hate comments), but personally id be okay with changing my last name to the name of my wifes (when i find one).

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  • Well it depends on our last names. Which ever one ha the coolest lat name wins

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  • I used to think I'd keep my own name, but now that I'm in love I would like to take his name

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  • I'm sure I'll keep my own.

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  • Yeah haha. My last name right now can lead to a lot of things. Good and bad. I'll take my man's name for sure

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  • That is your choice.

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  • In my country, girls don't need to change their last name when they get married.

    I think I won't change it too because I don't see a reason for that. You are married, yet you both have your own individuality and different fathers with different last names.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I will just change my name entirely to some random thing.

    I'll get married to some broad named Samantha Winger, but change my name from Jack Kerouac to Xxyzz Zinger!

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