My husband pulls a knife on me?

my husband and i had an argument about him going to the strip club. i told him i dont think he belongs there because he is a married man. i am not trying to control him its just because i know the crazy things that goes on at a strip club. example.. giving girls money, hooking up with strippers and getting lap dance and dick suck etc. i would rather him come home and spend quality time with me other than hanging out there. we had and argument and he went in the kitchen and pulls out a knife behind my back. i was scared for my life , i scream and cry so hard and almost run out the house. he have 2 smalls babies in the house too. he did this several times to me whenever he have an argument. he runs for the kitchen knife and i have to lock myself in the room. he told me he love me and he would never do it again. he also said he was just trying to scare me he wouldn't dare hurt me. but i dont know if i should trust what he is saying. he tells me he can't handle stress when we are arguing. no matter how bad an argument gets i dont think u should pull a knife on your partner.. please give me your opinions ladies and gents.. thank you!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Then leave. It's actually quite selfish of you to force two children to grow up in that environment. If you want to stay with an abusive man, that's you're choice, but do the right thing and let your kids live somewhere more stable. You are choosing to be there, they have no say. Women who stay with abusive men, it's stupid, butif they want to sstay that's their problem, when they bring kids into the situation it's also the kids problem through no fault or choice of their own. That is really selfish. That's the example of a man you want your kids to have? Sons to grow up thinking it's ok to abuse women, and daughters who think it's ok for their partners to abuse them, because who not, mummy and daddy did it.
    I care much more about your kids in this situation than care about you. As I said, you have chosen to stay with an abusive man, they didn't choose that, you are forcing this on them.
    If you care anything about those kids, go get them from their rooms and take them somewhere safe to live where they don't need to witness this. You go away with them if you want, but if you don't want to go away from this guy, at least don't force your kids to be in it.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Get your kids, and leave. There are shelters for you and your kids if there's no family you can stay with. Call the police. Call a divorce lawyer. Cut all contact with him.

    One of these days he might use that knife.

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  • My wife sometimes hits me over the head with a spatula or the egg beaters.. chases me around bonking me..

    But seriously, you need to get him to realize he needs help with managing his feelings. I'd get out of there with the babies if he won't get an appointment with a counselor right away.

    You aren't going to be a good mother if you are dead.

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  • WHOAAAA, leave him and get a restraining order. Temporarily move in with someone you know.

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  • a lot of different kinds of therapy, to start with, for the babies sake.

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  • Anyone who does that clearly has violent intentions. I say leave him. Sooner or later his rage will overcome his "love" and things will get ugly and someone will get hurt. Im not for that shit I would leave after the first time

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  • that's not how strip clubs work, I really don't understand them it's just naked girls that you can't touch, it's like teasing a dog with a treat

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  • Marriage counseling and anger management for him.

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  • Pulling a knife and makin threatening comments is grounds for lethal force (from my background in armed roles). If you or someone else has reasonable belief that you or someone else is in imminent danger of death or maiming, you can typically use lethal force (ck your state...).

    My point is, did you feel you were in imminent danger? if not get marital counseling and have a professional document this and deal with it. But from what you stated: I hate to say this, but for yourself and family safety, I would advise you to document this with counselor, police, etc... Get a TRO (temporary restraining order), and attend counseling until he manages to get a grip on it. Then you can put family back together which is your goal. However, until you deal with this. You aren't protecting your family, you're only jeopardizing them.
    If it were my daughter, he would be eating out of a straw...

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  • My mom did that my dad. Tried to stab him. Some scary shit right there. People never change

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What Girls Said 12

  • He is bat shit crazy... no he shouldn't be pulling a knife on you at all I don't care what the circumstances are... and he just trying to scare you? Wow... what if one day it goes further than scaring you? Do you want two children growing up in a house like that... if you have a sister or brother or even parents... cousins or any friends or family you could stay with for a little while I would do that... it dosent have to be permanent but let him know that he can't control and threaten you... let him see what he's missing and maybe he'll cop on a bit

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  • Don't trust what he's saying. Im sure he loves you, but is the value of his love more than the value of your life? I don't think so. You should look into divorce. This kind of behavior is toxic and can escalate to actual physical harm or murder. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but these things are very real and shouldn't be taken lightly.

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  • Whoa whoa!
    I work weekends at a strip club. Buck naked, and I love it there.
    Otherwise I'm carrying 15 hours in college.
    There is NO sex, no BJ or HJ, trust me.
    Lap dances with bottoms on, yeah.
    The idea is to send him home with a little wood... for you.

    Before you judge, go yourself. Even get a lap dance from a pretty girl. We are nice, respectable, mostly in college, and understand that every guy want's a little extra attention sometimes, and so do more than a few women.
    You would be totally surprised at how many women come.
    Also, the mens stripper clubs are packed with girls. It is safe fun.

    The knife thing is way out of line. I am sorry that happened. Just don't blame the club for that. You two have far more serious problems then that.

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    • i dont think she was blaming the club for that she was saying thats what they got in an argument over to give background info -_- i dont think thats the point here anyways of whether or not the strip club is a good place. just saying.

    • Yeah the knife is the focus for sure.
      The strip club is symptomatic though so I thought I might take the opportunity to set a few things straight.
      People are way too judgmental about the clubs, which is just ridiculous. the girls are nice and so are the guys that come in.
      Regular clubs have way more problems than strip clubs do. A girl can get hurt there for real.
      :)

  • You need to leave him alone he seems crazy. What if he accidentally does stab you. Has he ever thought about that. It's not safe for you or your babies. I know you love him and it would be hard to leave someone you love. Maybe y'all could try marriage counseling

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  • girl that man is so dangerous Take your kids and dump him, get a divorce, run for you life girl don't wait tell he kill you, you said it's not a first time who knows what he would do next time giirl don't wait just get out of that house.

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  • he can't handle stress in a normal way? I'd take the kids and run for the hills.. or like other have said get him a restraining order.

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  • Kill him before he kills u

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  • It's time to leave before someone gets hurt. He needs to take anger management classes.

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  • couples therapy

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  • If some guy pull a knife on me, I'll take it that he's trying to kill me and will more than likely shoot him.

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    • I was also taught how to shoot.

  • LEAVE ok? LEAVE NOW.. before you don't get a chance to leave.

    Don't listen to him when he says he'd never do it again that's how abusers always get to people. They act right for a while (like 6 months) then they try something worse next thing you know he's giving you a black eye and you're making up excuses for it like you fell down the stairs.

    GO. DON'T GIVE ABUSERS CHANCES

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  • What the hell! Why are you still there? If you can't realize what a psycho he is, and get out for yourself. Then do it for your babies! Get the fuck away, and do it now. If he can pull a knife on you, then only god knows what else he can do..

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