Cohabitation before marriage?

I recently found in a class that apparently, cohabitation before marriage actually leads to more divorces than waiting until marriage to move in together. The general idea stems from separating the relationship and the marriage. Living together reinforces the relationship, but traditional methods usually reinforce there is no divorce, so people who wait to move in together are likely "traditional" and are far less likely to turn divorce as an option regardless of living together.

I guess I was just looking for some thoughts on this because I think many modern westerners view living together before marriage as a very positive way to cut down on divorce.

So go ahead, say what ya think


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that int the past divorcing was seen as a terrible thing and a lot of couples stayed together because they had to and not because they wanted to. Some were stuck with a marriage without love. Now, we have a possibility to live again even if a marriage doesn't work. Following the traditional way doesn't mean you'll be happy in a marriage. All that matters is to try hard enough to make it work, traditional or modern.

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    • Do you think, that some people don't try enough? that maybe divorce has become so common that people don't try as hard? I feel like if you ask those old couples that have been together forever, they all admit that there were entire periods of years where they were not happy, but in the end they died happily together in love. So basically, I don't think it is uncommon for marriages to be unpleasant for maybe 3-5 years at a time, but that is me. And I have known many instances where divorce was absolutely the right answer.

    • I do think that some people don't try hard enough nowadays and that some people die in love. Though, I really believe that some people stayed together because they had to.

What Girls Said 4

  • I don't believe in cohabitation before marriage so yeah. But I learnt that too in my sociology class. I can't remember the reason my teacher gave to explain it though :\

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    • From my understanding, it is the fact that people who wait until marriage to move in together are far less likely to even consider divorce as they hold marriage more importantly than the relationship.

  • It doesn't matter to me honestly.
    I learned about that in my parenting class. I was kind of shocked by I guess it makes sense.

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    • From my understanding, it is the fact that people who wait until marriage to move in together are far less likely to even consider divorce as they hold marriage more importantly than the relationship.

    • sorry that was for the other commenter!!!

    • It's cool. i completely agree with that.

  • I don't believe in shacking up date with a purpose. that sounds like playing house. it takes away the thrill and excitement of marriage and to me will get boring really quick. Im waiting for marriage.

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  • Me and my husband have lived together for the biggest part of our relationship. We're going strong even with everything we've dealt with. We would try our hardest to make our marriage work but in some cases you just can't do it. I think divorce is more common now because people don't try anymore. People marry just so they can say they are married... in cases like that how would a marriage ever work? Back in the day people seen divorce as a horrible thing so it didn't happen as much. People stayed with there cheating or abusive spouses and there is no point in it. At least not as far as staying with abusive ones, cheating is a little different but a person can only handle so much of that too.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It depends on the people, but I do believe cohabitation is a nice trial run, may be risky but the consequences aren't as heavy as marriage.

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    • I agree totally, but this argument would say that people who view relationships as "trial runs" are much less likely to be as committed or try as hard to save a relationship.

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