How do you feel about a pre-nup before marriage?

My friend asked a girl if she'd ever get a pre-nup and she got mad and never talked to him again. He asked me the same question and my answer is no. If I marry a guy, it's because I love him, trust him, and want to share everything with him for the rest of my life. A pre-nup to me is like a fail safe for the guy or girl if things don't go well and you end up getting a divorce. It's like already starting the marriage off on a "should all of this fail" footing and I'm against that. I guess couples these days go into planning what will happen if it fails, instead of making it work no matter what. That's why I feel like there is a higher divorce rate these days.

Anyways, what's your take on it? Would you ask your future husband or wife to get one? Do you think it's right or wrong?

For the record, I'm an engineer and I make decent money. If I was to marry a guy who made less than me financially, i would still trust him and have no fail safe. I believe that's how you make a marriage work - complete trust. It may sound like a bad idea to not have a back up plan, but is rather not have one that start my marriage with a "what if."

Updates:
Ah sorry about some typos - this dang autocorrect lol. Smart phones can be so dumb.. Who woulda thought? =P
Thanks for everyone's inputs. I guess I'm old fashioned and should wake up that people are not genuinely good these days or even if they are, they can change.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Pre-nups aren't a good idea. That shows me that they anticipate that there may be problems down the line which they either can't or won't work through.

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    • Oh wow, do you remember me? We used to talk and you used to be on my friends list. For some reason, I think your name is Brian?

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    • Really? Masters in what? And that sucks.. I hope that it pays off for you.

    • MBA with project management. I'm probably going to start the course over again in January. Too busy right now :-/

What Guys Said 5

  • I don't believe you can ever trust someone 100%. Everyone is capable of fucking you over given the right set of circumstances. They could be a different person by the time the marraige starts to crumble and I think it would be foolish to not have a fail safe. Honestly Im leaning more towards cohabitation but if i were to get married I wouldn't even consider it without a prenup. And if my wife were to be the higher earner I would expect her to want a prenup as well. It just makes sense, marraige isn't really a holy cerimony it's more of a government contact nowadays and you need to protect yourself from the loopholes.

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  • I didn't get one.

    Which was probably stupid.

    I'd advise anyone with a decent salary to get one.

    If you are planning to stay together, it doesn't matter either way. Realistically though, LEGAL marriage, which is what you're considering, is a contract that says a whole lot about what happens if you split. And if you look at what happens when you split, there's a good chance you'd think its unreasonable. So the question isn't if you should have a contract describing how divorce would work, because you get that either way. it's just whether you want the standard contract, or a custom one.

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  • well when I feel and know it, I won't even think about it. I just hope she feels the same.

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    • what kind of engineer are you btw?

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    • noice! where do you work? and do you do what you thought you'd be doing? or its somewhat different but acceptable?

    • I work at GE. I was planning for power distribution, but I ended up in control systems. It is different, but it's a good change and gives me a good experience.

  • I'd seriously consider getting one. Given the divorce rate, I don't want to get taken to the cleaners by a wife who just decides one day she's had enough.

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  • I'm all for it, especially if the guy is making good money. I know damn well I'm getting one when I get married.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I am all about it. Like you I believe in marriage trust and all that. But then I watched my best friends marriage deteriorate when her husband changed into a different person when he started hanging out with the wrong sorts of people. Luckily they had nothing to fight over as they were in their early 20's, but if they had it could have been horrible.
    And for the record he was a wonderful person till he was brainwashed by a cult like place. Sometimes good intentions can bite you in the butt. While I would choose to believe I would not end up divorced I would rather be protected than up the creek without a paddle in the name of love.

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  • No, I wouldn't, haha. I feel the same way, about starting the marriage already thinking it might fail. And I'm against divorce, anyway.

    Besides, my boyfriend and I are equally poor, haha.

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  • I'm getting a prenup because I'm not stupid. God forbid something happens to my fiancé his family can then try to take a good chunk of money from me claiming it belonged to him, when it didn't. Money makes people do crazy things and I would rather make sure that he and I are protected than risk the possibilities.

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    • Like my dad and his wife got one so that us kids can't screw either of them out of their money and it strengthens their will. That is what we plan to do with ours.

  • I would i would always cover my own back, as though to speak, marriages fail all of the time, its naive not to safe guard yourself. Id never trust someone 100% anyway.

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