Husband look at pictures of naked women?

I have explained how this makes me feel and I have begged him to stop doing it. I've been open minded and told him that he can tell me why he does it and I promised not to get angry. He just shuts down and says he doesn't know why he does it. He has made endless promises to stop and he is not the sort of man to break a promise. It is tearing me apart. He is now angry because every time I see the pictures on the computer I confront him and he is angry that I don't trust him enough not to look at the history! I found the first 2 lots of pictures by accident trying to get back to a webpage I had used and since then I have checked the history. I hate myself for it. Last week he was angrier than ever and I finally promised to stop checking. Last night I was trying to do research for a meeting and needed to get back to a webpage I had used and yet again there are more pictures. I kept my promise and didn't go further back in the history and I am now waiting for him to come home from work to confront him about it again! What can I do to make him realize that he's breaking me every time he looks at them?

Updates:
This question is irrelevant now because my husband has left me...apparently he hasn't been in love with me for a while. So I say to all those people who blamed my insecurities and told me to get help...what a load of rubbish! I knew there was more to it
and I have been proved right! This was never about getting attention from people I don't know this was a genuine question in a bid to see things from the other side and quite frankly I'm sickened by most of the newest answers. Thanks to everyone who took
the time to reply. For the record I never wanted to control my husband, I just wanted him to keep the promises he made to stop just like he expected me to keep my promises! I pity those who feel a life led with broken promises and naked women on your
computer screen is enough...do yourselves a favor and take into consideration the feelings of the people around you!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok he looks at porn because he's a dude...It doesn't change the way he feels about you at all. Guys will always be attracted to other girls and girls will always be attracted to other guys regardless of what state of relationship their in. Its just human nature. I'm pretty shore that you found yourself attracted to/ flirting with other guys. I know that it's not at the same level as what he's doing but I hope you understand my point.

    I understand you feelings about it and I give you props for keeping your promise to him. However as long as he has a penis I highly doubt he will stop looking at those images. Like I said before it doesn't mean he's lost his feelings for you it just means his a guy.

    The only solution I can is have a don't ask don't tell policy between you to. This way he feels less guilty and you don't get as hurt. Get your own computer, have him get himself a laptop or ask him to erase the history when he's done. I know its not much but at lest its some common ground.

    If it has turned in to a full blown addiction or it's starting to effect your sex life then I recommend that both of you get in to couples counseling and he gets some help. Hope this is helpful

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    • Looking at porn because he's a dude is an excuse when he's on a course and away from home for weeks at a time. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is the fact that I go all out for him and try to mke him happy and I have broken down and told him in so many ways what he's doing to me and yet he doesn't seem to care. I've asked if he's addicted and he laughed at me. Now because I have a valid excuse for actually finding them he's ignoring the whole thing and pretending it isn't happening

    • If its that bad then seek couples counseling...cus it seems like he is addicted. Get him some help.

    • Its not the same because flirting with people is real and interpersonal whilest porn is purely imaginative/media.

What Guys Said 31

  • Men look at naked women's pictures because they are beautiful and we enjoy them. Other people may enjoy looking at pictures of flowers because they are beautiful they enjoy seeing them. I like naked females and flowers. :)

    A better question might have been "Why do I have this irrational need to control what my husband looks at?" It would seem you have a real problem with insecurity. You would be well advised to get some help with your insecurities and to stop wasting time trying to control your husband. He is a free male, supposedly able to make his own personal choices.

    My wife is a nut for watching CSI programs. I do not like them at all, but I have no right to impose my choices on her, so she watches them any time she likes and I watch what I enjoy. If you try to control someone too much, they will often look for a means to escape. Maybe keep that in mind next time you are deciding what your husband can do or look at.

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    • She doesn't have insecurity, nor is she in need to control... are you serious? your pathedic EXCUSE is an embarassment... do us all a favor and don't speak for anyone but yourself, not ALL men do this. SOME men respect their wives, and follow the Lord. ANY believer of Christ wouldn't do such madness. And any respectable loving man, wouldn't do this to their wives.

    • Sorry Saucie, religious fanaticism precludes you from understanding normal people and how they think. My advice was right on point, but too late. She had already driven him away, before she sought advice.

    • Actually he is right.It's natural to look at someone or something attractive.The second you start trying to control a man and his action,is the second he will fell trapped,will resent you and will pull away from you.Him watching porn has nothing to do with respect,his breaking his promise is the issue and your insecurity is the issue.I wouldn't be surprised if she pushed him away with all her bs,although,if he wasn't in love with her,that is a separate issue

  • I realize I’m much too late to be of any help but I couldn't resist putting in my opinion. This topic has evolved past the intentions of the host and gone on to be a debate about masturbation and pornography.

    Masturbation...

    Health Benefits for Men

    Research summarized in a 2007 article in Sexual and Relationship Therapy found that masturbation helps men by:

    Improving his immune system’s functioning.

    Building his resistance to prostate gland infection.

    Making for a healthier prostate.

    Australian researchers have reported that frequent masturbation may lower a man’s risk of developing prostate cancer. A survey of men found the more frequently a man masturbates between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to get prostate cancer. In fact, those who masturbated more than five times a week were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer.

    Health Benefits for Females

    When it comes to a woman’s health, self-pleasuring serves her well by:

    Building her resistance to yeast infections.

    Combating pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with their menstrual cycles, like cramps.

    Relieving painful menstruation by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region. This will also reduce pelvic cramping and related backaches.

    Relieving chronic back pain and increasing her threshold for pain.

    Health Benefits for Both Sexes

    Masturbation rewards both men and women because it’s:

    The safest kind of sex, keeping you free of sexually transmitted infections.

    A great form of stress relief.

    A mood booster in releasing endorphins.

    A natural sleep sedative.

    A mechanism for building stronger pelvic floor muscles, which can lead to better sex.

    A natural energetic pick-me-up.

    Once we get over our sociological ways of thinking you have to realize masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do. Self-pleasuring is the second most common human sex act.

    As for pornography; it’s part of being human.

    Pornography is one form or another has been around sense the dawn of man. Ancient civilizations from all around the world divulged in the knowledge that sex was a beautiful thing and depicted in many forms from encryptions on walls to paintings and statues. If given today’s technology, yesterday, they would have done no different.

    Ancient civilizations may have been to slack with sex having it a common public occurrence but today’s society is much too strict as if it’s a forbidden fruit even in the privacy of your own home. Sooner or later the cloud of ignorance will fade and the mass will accept human nature for what it is.

    Pornography is a tool to get your jollies; nothing more. Without visual stimulation reaching a climax can take hours and really, who has hours to spend masturbating? There is not ethically wrong with it.

    MY opinion, not yours.

    Cheers.

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  • Pornography can be a serious addiction. He's the one with the problem not you. I have seen it tear apart familes in multiple cases. It's very sad and I feel horrible that you had to experience it. I'm sure you are an amazing lady. Just find a guy that will recognise that.

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  • get over it, guys look at porn, that's the way it is. he's not doing anything with the porn star in real life and probably wouldn't even if given a chance. the idea of porn is that its imaginary, its not real, doesn't really happen (do you get the point?) guys look at porn and that's never going to change. it doesn't matter how long you have been married, some times you just have to get off on something and porn is so easy to do that. he still loves you, still does things with you...so why would you care if he looks at porn? have you ever just been horny and wanted to do something about it? cause that's all he's doing.guys get horny and jerk it asap

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    • Youre discusting, and a pig. I feel bad for your lover.

    • Show All
    • Stop pushing your religious views down everyones throat.it's natural,even women look at porn and pictures

    • Thank you evangelina214 for agreeing with me.

      oh and SaucieMaMa, I don't know why you would feel bad for my lover, she also looks at porn, sometimes we look at it together

  • Nothing destroys love's initial infatuation faster than the realization that our partner's energies, especially sexual, are/have been focused in a direction other than us. In that moment you want to yell, "Hey, What am I, chopped liver?!" Then of course, you ask, "What if I am chopped liver?"

    Well, off of the top of my head I can think of a few reasons why we have to vent our sexual energies in directions other than our partners. If you think of more, please let me know:

    -Too much sexual energy and their partner can't handle it all.

    -Too much sexual energy and their partner doesn't know how or want to manage it all.

    -One is upset with their partner and doesn't want to be with them at a moment of coincidental lust.

    -Partner is unsatisfying in some way, appearance, performance, respectability.

    -One has been tainted by the taste of variety and/or better quality and is greedy. For what ever reason, you’ve been settled for. This last excuse may be a reason. It may be the reason almost all relationships are doomed. I sure hope not though.

    At any rate, the person left unfocused on feels betrayed, insufficient, and disrespected since they had been sending all of their energies in the direction of their partner while their partner was directing their sexual energies elsewhere. What may follow? Hardly anything good. The betrayed person may feel entitled to focus their sexual energies elsewhere also. Hence, the relationship breakdown begins to cycle.

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What Girls Said 34

  • You know, you'd be suprised how many men look at these sites. All men are like animals, they want to explore, so for him it may be a safe way online. If you asked in a survey to a guy do you look at porn regularly the result may be 80%! My mum even told my own dad off for viewing pages like this and programs late at night, so he removed the programs. But I checked history and there was all these dirty sites listed. But after that I checked every day and nothing, either he deletes the history or he stopped viwing these pages. But in your case I think you could can settle this situation. Why don't you suprise him once in a while, put on some sexy lingerie and show him what he's missing. If he still continues why don't you ask him to try out these things he sees online on you! watch it together then you will be on fire! lol

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  • All men like to look at naked women pictures that doesn't mean that they have anything to do with them. its gross to you but its natural they re just penises walking around US women.

    If I was in your shoes I would tell him not to hide it from me I wouldn't ask him why because its obvious why he does it.. I would actually sit with him and look at hot pictures with him and perhaps show him some hot guys too maybe that would let him know why it p*sses me off. if he doesn't get the idea then watch porn together..

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  • i would be upset if my boyfriend or husband looked at other naked women.

    i'd find it disrespectful

    if he continues, I would seriously consider getting him to see a counsellor

    if he knows it doesn't make sense and he still does it, well, he should learn to have more control

    i am picky when it comes to guys

    but seriously talk to him face to face and then just say it's our relationship on the line.

    i am black and white when it comes to things like this

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  • Why should he have to explain it and why is it so odd to you? Speaking from the perspective of a grown woman, I expect it to be human nature for a man to look at pictures of women. They are photographs, not real people. He's not cheating on you by looking online or at a magazine. At the end of the day, you are the one he shares his bed and feelings with. Why make someone feel guilty for their human hormonal tendencies? Of course he's going to shut down, it's embarrassing. It's healthy to let your man have a fantasy outlet, as long as it remains a fantasy. Unless he's running around with other women, you shouldn't feel threatened at all. It doesn't mean you aren't enough. This is only destructive if you put it in your mind that it is. You are just going to end up driving him away by preventing him from being who he is. Unless you want it to go from pictures to other women, I'd let it go. If you notice anything pertaining to phone calls to your house you don't recognize or legitimate cheating behavior, then you can be worried. This sounds like a personal insecurity on your part and not a problem on his. Have you never once had a fantasy about another man? It doesn't mean you are any less in love with your husband, it's just human nature and isn't meant to be acted upon in any other way. Find a way to compromise or learn to let this one go.

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  • Geez- no offense, but I think you need to lighten up-he's not cheating on you, he still loves you- and so I hate to say it but responding like this is really not going to help your case...how about instead of acting like this about it, accept it and try and improve your sexual relationship with him, so he won't have to watch porn so much...but even still, men who are dating incredibly attractive women will still enjoy looking at other women, will fantasise about being with other women etc. because men function a little differently from women when it comes to sex and are more inclided to have ploygamous desires. But getting that angry about it really isn't going to help anyone, least of all you and having looekd at your updates that's somethign you might want to consuder in your next relationship. xxxxxxxxxx

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