Is marriage worth all the extra work?

Do you think marriage is worth all the extra chores - cooking, laundry, cleaning, emotional support, etc? (Or whatever it is you take on)

My last serious relationship was a lot of work with little payout. I still miss it, but sometimes wonder if I really want to sign on for a lifetime. What do you all think on marriage?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Marriages are give and take. In order to have a successful marriage, however, it needs to involve two **givers**.

    You have to have both parties wanting to help the other. Have a solid relationship built on trust, friendship, attraction, and be able to communicate effectively.

    No, you don't NEED to get married, although there are certain protections that both parties have by entering into a contract.

    My husband has certain roles and I have others. Sometimes we have to have a discussion about division of labor because he might feel like I'm letting the ball drop or vice versa. But yeah. It's worth it. So worth it.

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    • What are some of the roles, if you don't mind sharing?

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    • Does he listen to you when you talk and consider you when making decisions? I don't even think I'd mind more domestic work if the emotional work was more even. :S

    • 99% of the time, yes. He's not perfect and neither am I, but yes. For the most part. We talk over all major financial decisions and there's some things that I have more of a "say" in and other things that he does. I make most of the child rearing and educational decisions because our son IS my full time job. I'm not saying he doesn't get a say, but I don't follow him to work and tell him how to do HIS job.

What Guys Said 4

  • I think marriage is worth all the extra work. There's devotion and commitment when you get married, and especially when you kids.

    Can this extra devotion and commitment be draining on a person? Yes, yes it can.

    But I truly believe that the intangible connection/bond you build with your partner (and new family) more than outweighs the extra work necessary.

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  • Absolutely, positively yes - provided it's a compatible match, and each person has the skills and personality to make it work.

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    • Are you married? What's the best part?

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    • That sounds wonderful.

    • Well, don't get me wrong: marriage is not paradise. As long as we've been married, yes, we do sometimes disagree :) And it does take work to maintain your relationship - that's something that's a given. But you asked whether it was worth it. I wouldn't have it otherwise.

  • If two people are married, neither of them should be doing any more housework than they did when they were single.

    If you have children, they will obviously require more work and attention, which should be shared by both parents.

    I still believe marriage is a crock of shit, and it only works out in about 20% of cases.

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    • 44% of marriages are a complete failure, and end in divorce. 10% of those remaining are sexless, where sex happens 10 or less times per year. More than 50% of those remaining could not be described as loving relationships, but merely financial contracts.

      As I've said before:
      Men love women.
      Women love children.
      Children love guinea pigs.
      The guinea pig wins, no-one loves the man, and he just pays for the whole deal.

    • A lot of men end up not loving their wives, too. It's frightening to know you just don't know what may happen.

  • You don't take on any extra chores when you get married.

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    • I did in my last relationship. I guess I mean any relationship where you share responsibilities.

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    • That sounds like an interesting duty :P

    • I can't imagine it was great fun but... I did dishes?

What Girls Said 5

  • I'm engaged to be married and I don't do that much more than I used to. I cook on weekends only, we take turns cleaning, and we share all the money. When you find the one you won't care if you do have to do more because he'll be worth it and hopefully pitch in. Real men do at least.

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  • I didn't know that getting married means having more chores at home, lol. I'm getting married really soon, and we split the chores pretty evenly. I guess it largely depends on the dynamic of the relationship though.

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  • not all marriages are like that. many are a lot more equal.

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    • Where I'm from, not so much. And guys on here suggest they prefer the same.

    • gag is not a good reflection of the real world.

      where are you from? and what do you mean by payout?

    • I'm from a rural area where most women work and do most of the household stuff. Payout could be anything that makes a person feel valued and equal to their partner.

  • You don't have to have a job since you seem to get stuck doing all the chores. Just marry a guy that will do his provider role. Especially when the kids come, you will have more work. So you should just find a guy that would prefer to be the only one working.
    You have options.
    But yeah, this is another reason why I don't want to get married.

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    • If the guy doesn't consider you an equal, this could be even worse.

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    • The mindset and treatment of your partner is what matters the most. Does he feel you're a team or that you exist to serve him?

    • hopefully he thinks you're a team

  • I guess the key is finding someone who's willing to put in as much effort as you are. And yes I think when you find someone you truly love its worth it

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