My bf and I disagree about living situation... who is being selfish?

Been together 3 years. I'm ready to move in together and get married, but he's hesitant.

I bought my house 3 years ago with my parents. I live in the house alone, but my parents and I are all owners. Its a beautiful 3 bedroom house that I have worked my butt off to make into a nice home.

My bf doesn't like the fact that my parents are owners. He says it makes him feel like its not really his house, and he doesn't feel at home there. I don't understand this... if we got married, he would own it too. I've also said he can bring whatever the hell he wants into this house to make it feel like his. But no matter what I do, he keeps saying that he doesn't like how my parents are owners. Also, my parents never come over! And they never would drop by unannounced either... they are not nosey or disruptive in the least.

Its a great house, and would be perfect to have a family in. I was lucky to have the opportunity to buy it, and I'm lucky I have great parents who helped me. I don't understand why he doesn't see this as a wonderful thing.

Do you agree with him? Or do you agree with me? I really think he is just making excuses because he's not ready for marriage.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think this is a masculine issue, and not being the owner of the house he's going to live him feels degrading?

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you hit the nail on the head with your last sentence... he might not love the fact your parents are joint owners of the house, but I think the bigger factor is him not being ready/comfortable living together yet for whatever reason. a lot of guys are independent and like to have more space. Not being ready for marriage and/or living together doesn't necessarily make him selfish, it just means you guys aren't on the same page.

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  • I agree with you, but I don't think he's making excuses. Maybe he doesn't feel well having to share a house ownership with someone else than you. I think it's pointless though, he should be thankful that you've got a great house and you'll have a nice place to live. Many fight for years to get what you already have.

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What Girls Said 0

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