Bridal shower problems... Is this rude/wrong/crazy? Help?

Hey there,
My best friend is getting married, and I was asked to be the maid of honor..
One of my responsibilities is to plan and organize the bridal shower, which is about two months away (super short engagement).
I asked the bride-to-be for a guest list for the shower, and she refuses to invite any family members but two of her 3 sisters. Not her mother, grandmother, aunts, cousins, or mother in law to-be or any of the grooms female relatives. I worry that this may be, well, rude.
I asked her why she doesn't want to invite them, and she claims her mother wouldn't have fun, her grandmother would rather be home and she can't stand her mother in law to-be.
I feel that it's common courtesy to invite family, it doesn't matter if they'll have fun or not show up, it's sort of a must..
How do I explain this to her without hurting her feelings or making it sound like I want to control things? I won't tell her what to do being it's her wedding and I want her to be happy, I really am just worried it will cause problems and hurt feelings between her and her family..
Should I just let it go or try to get her to invite the family?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I guess I'm going to be the first and perhaps only one who will say that you should try speaking to her again about it. I feel like she really needs to think about this again. The thing is that these women will notice that they never received an invitation, and regardless of the fact whether they would accept the invitation, it will leave a bitter taste. If she doesn't like her groom's mother this could be a good opportunity to get to know her a little better. However, if an invitation isn't even sent then that relationship is going to be doomed pretty much forever. If I had a bridal shower and wouldn't invite my mum I know she'd be hurt. She may not like your friend's groom, but she is still her mother after all.

    If I were you, I'd try to talk to her about it once more to make sure she's actually aware of the consequences of not inviting certain woman but also of the benefits of inviting them. If she still sticks to her wish, you should accept it and not bring it up again.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Just Let it go, weddings are stressful enough

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What Girls Said 4

  • Let it go. It's her bridal shower, she gets to decide whom to invite. If someone else ends up thinking it's rude, then simply explain to them that you were not in charge of the guest list. If any other kind of drama occurs, then it's on her, not you. If she doesn't want them there, then she will most likely end up not enjoying her bridal shower as much if they were invited. Sure, it might not be the nicest thing ever of her, but like I said, it's her bridal shower and she shouldn't be forced to invite someone she doesn't want there.

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    • Besides, getting married is stressful enough as it is. The least you could do is to do what you're asked.

    • I understand, I just want her and as many other people to be happy...

  • Respect her wishes. She might have good reason not to invite them. Maybe her parents raped her etc... its possible!!! you don't know the situation so just respect her wishes.

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    • wow dramatic.. Thank god nothing like that.
      No it's just she hates her mother in law and her mother doesn't like the groom..
      I don't know I'll let her do what she wants... If it were me I would invite family even if we didn't get along

  • I would suggest speaking out on this one unless her family lives too far away (mine were in another country). It could cause tension if she doesn't invite them.

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  • It doesn't matter what you want or who you want to incite or if you think it's rude. It's her shower and she told you who to invite.

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