Would you marry if you didn't fall in love?

I am not sure I can 'fall in love' anymore. But I am pretty sure I would disappoint my parents if I didn't marry. So what would any one do in my situation.

Of course nobody knows the future. But if I don't ever fall in love, do I just go ahead an marry anyone my parents think is a good match or if a close family introduced me to say their daughter?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why exactly can't you love anymore?

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    • I am a naturally happy person, and I have a certain peace of mind in my life. I am not saying for certain it won't happen. Even though I am friendly, I am reserved since my last break up (about 2 years ago). I just can't see myself having the loving feelings I had. Because in the end it looked like it meant nothing to her. But I am getting older, and my parents do hope/expect to have grandchildren sooner or later. I have no problem marrying without falling in love if it would still work.

      So does it work? Do people have stable marriages even if they aren't in love?

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    • Yes majority of people marry because of love, that's ideal. At the same time there are people who marry and are not necessarily in love (think of royals, status etc...) it's isn't bad just not good either.

    • I see. But I might do that. Not that I won't make an effort to love her. But you know how the first love feels like the happiest because we never feel someone who loved us that deeply would do mean things to us like ignoring us or talking through others

What Girls Said 5

  • No, I was the same way, I thought I couldn't fall in love. But I did. It took a long time but I finally found that one. You just dont love easily! I dont either you have to really build love and trust. It takes time. Be patient with yourself. Forget what others expect. People move on with their lives and you have to live yours. Do you wanna spend the rest of you life with that person? Do you want kids with that person? And do you care about that person? Yes you can fall in love with a friend and friendships tends to last longer than relationships. Just figure out what makes you happy and you won't go wrong!

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    • Thanks. I don't have many close friends. But I hope you are right

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    • Take your time be patient with yourself. Love will come. When you least expect it and out of your control

    • I hope so! :-)

  • I would never marry someone who didn't love me or with whom I am not in love. What's the point? Sounds like it would be an extremely unsatisfying relationship to be honest.

    Respect and trust play a huge role in a relationship as well, but without the love it's pretty much just a good friendship.

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  • I'd rather marry a stable companion than an unstable 'love'. so yes, i think i could marry someone i didn't love if it came to that.

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    • Okay. So on those circumstances I am thinking of choosing based on what traits and how long should I know her before talking of marriage?

  • Is this an arranged mairage?

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    • I am asking, does it work?

  • That sounds like a set up for a miserable life.

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What Guys Said 3

  • No I would not.
    My happiness should be more important for them and something like if I'll marry or not should not sway that. I don't live for the approval of others or to live up to their expectations of me. I'm an individual with my own dreams and goals.

    But I'm in a position where I've decided long ago never to get married and they don't care. But in other issues I'd hold the same stance.

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    • I don't feel I can disappoint my parents. They have cared for me since I was a kid and I haven't disappointed or hurt them in any way. That's why the dilemma. Do you think there are women out there who might be ready to marry me, have a kid even if we're not in love? I don't know much about finding dates online or so, and I was wondering how anyone would go about it if they found themselves in my position.

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    • The thing is they believe it develops over time and would see my pov as being juvenile. I agree love does grow (or drop LOL) over time. But I often wonder if I would compare it to something perfect I felt once and be disappointed. Is it fair to the girl I would marry that way?

    • I don't think it's fair the neither you or the girl to get married when you are not completely comfortable with the situation. I agree that love and the sense of connection with another grows with time. But I think it's the wrong way to go around it to start with marrying someone in hope that it will grow into something more. I would say the opposite, when you notice that things are growing into something more and a real connection if formed then it's perhaps time to consider marriage.

  • The idea that marriage is about being "in love" is a modern concept, and the divorce rate shows that it is a flawed concept. Most people don't even know what actual love is. Love is not a happy feeling you get from being around another person. Real love is a commitment to sacrifice for another person. Much like how a parent will make sacrifices for their child.

    Marriage in the past was about a partnership, where each person took care of the other person. People don't walk around in a constant state of "being in love". Things like respect, trust, and compatibility are far more important than being "in love" with the other person. If you find someone that will improve your life by having them as a life partner, then you might want to get married to them. Otherwise there is no reason to marry anyone. Being "in love" doesn't need to factor into your decision to get married at all.

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    • I think all of it is important. I can't imagine choosing a wife and not being intensely in love with her. But maybe the 'love' feeling will happen eventually in time staying with that person?

  • If you can't love anymore ur an idiot, learn to forget and know that future love can be different, nothing is the same.

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