Is it bad is it to check your spouse' Cellphone Facebook etc?

Is it bad is it to check your spouse' Cellphone Facebook etc. I don't know how wrong it is but as we generally don't share real feelings in relationship so I do it sometimes.. and then I feel guilty.

there's a poll please vote.

  • I do it too.
    33% (4)25% (2)30% (6)Vote
  • It's bad.
    67% (8)75% (6)70% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in two minds about it. On the one hand if you haven't got anything to hide you should be okay with it. On the other, it could seem like you feel (s) he isn't trustworthy/you have trust issues. That being said many people are untrustworthy an it can be normal to have "trust issues".

    Ultimately if your stable in your relationship i. e good communication, fully trusting of each other etc. you shouldn't have to check up on the other or corroborate their stories, if you feel the need to do this due to lack of communication or whatever, its the relationship that is the problem and needs to be worked on, not wasting energy on checking their phone and social media accounts.

    Start by being completely honest and even getting vulnerable and open the line of communication that way, say what you have been doing, that you feel like your lost on where you both stand because you aren't telling each other how you really feel etc.

    Try to go back to what made you fall in love in the first place and why you got married, what was it you were both doing that made you happy enough with each other to commit to spending the rest of your lives with each other.

    If your 'snooping' is justified i. e she cheated or something don't get defensive and say well what you did was worse than what I did, for starters you both did something wrong, secondly people usually cheat because they aren't getting what they need at home.

    I hope you can work out your marriage for the better. Good Luck

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What Girls Said 10

  • it's bad.
    if i knew you were doing that, i would totally pretend to be having an affair. just to fuck with your head.

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  • If you have a good relationship with your spouse then this stuff should be open to both of you. If it's not then chances are they are hiding something. If your gut instinct says something is amiss then check it out and you're probably right just make sure that you can handle what you might find out.

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  • I think it's bad. Shows lack of trust. Trust is essential in a relationship. If you don't share your feelings with each other, then perhaps you should try to change that? Communicate with her more.

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  • Yes, it's a bad action but sometimes it can be justified.

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  • It's bad, I knew my ex was cheating on me but I still did it, hacked into his Facebook account.. I don't use Facebook, or any of those mumbo jumbo's, just snapchat for me.
    If I trust him enough, I wouldn't need to go through his phone and like wise I wouldn't be afraid to leave my phone near him.. Trust gets you along way in a relationship man..

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    • thanks for your insight.

      'I wouldn't need to go through his phone and like wise I wouldn't be afraid to leave my phone near him'

  • If she knows then it's okay. If you were my husband and did that behind my back I would feel like you didn't trust me so your wife could feel the same way unless she knows. If you two don't share your feelings then that's something that y'all should start doing.

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  • I've done that too and I have felt REALLY guilty about it. It's not good to do, but sometimes that's your only way of knowing how they feel. It's still bad, though. You should talk with her if you feel like she's hiding her feelings or something.

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  • Its bad. but my cousin, a computer programmer, found out that his wife was cheating on him, and i think it was through hacking into her Facebook. he found when and where she was going to meet up with another man, and got there first lmao.

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  • If your spouse is unaware/not okay with it it's bad and a sign of insecurity

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  • It's bad and it could destroy her trust in you. She may have things that she's embarrassed to discuss with you. Certain topics are off limits to men like visits to the gynecologist, google-searches (This applies to both genders), texts between sisters, gossip etc...

    How would you feel if she did check your cell? I didn't understand before but now i understand.

    Just have a calm talk with her, show her your love, she's dating/married to you for a reason.

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    • If she checked my Cellphone Facebook even use a lie detector i would not be hurt I will try to put her worries at rest.

    • But wouldn't you be even a tad bit embarrassed?

      I would say trusting eachother enough to let them go through your phone will/could build up the trust in the relationship and let them know what more about your significant other.
      But some people are either too embarrassed to show the phone to the S. O., too scared for their SO to find some sort of nude, explicit texts from another girl/guy, or even texts from SO to another guy/girl initiating a meeting/hook up, or your SO doesn't have enough trust in you.

      I would never hesitate to leave my phone with my SO. but i can't say the same for him.

What Guys Said 9

  • The biggest issue to me is that you don't share real feelings in your relationship. Why don't you guys do this with one another?

    The Facebook and cellphone thing is pretty scandalous, not gonna lie. If a partner really wanted to have access to my stuff, them I think I'd allow it; if her trust didn't significantly improve and she wasn't willing to work on it after that, then it could turn into a really big problem.

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  • TBH for the sake of loyalty, No.
    I keep an eye on everybody but I keep in mind not to leak/hurt their privacy.
    But it's better to ask them to show themselves if they think that they're honest.

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  • No it's not necessarily bad but it has to be done sometimes. Especially when red flags appear and strange behavior is noticed in a relationship. And if the girl is defensive about her phone like she is hiding something, you know it's time to move on. I don't blame you wanting to do that, especially nowadays.

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  • Oh yea definitely bad. It's a trust and insecurity issue you need to fix. you can confront it with your wife, but it may end nasty. regardless, you should learn to trust your wife.

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  • Checking your guys cell phone will lead to other forms of intrusion. My soon to be ex-wife read my emails, checked cell phone logs. She was always trying to find a reason to be mad. After awhile she was determined that I was doing something that she just couldn't catch me at. This extreme intrusion on her part escalated & I felt violated. No trust equals no relationship.

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  • Only If there's a damn good reason to, should someone do this.

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  • Thank god I don't have Facebook and barely use my phone.

    I wouldn't dig it.

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  • It's bad, annoying and cause for a good fight which I'd definitely be winning.

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  • I'd imagine you know this already, but it is wrong for you to check that stuff, you should be more trusting. But I can understand where you're coming from. I would say let her know that you are concerned with whatever you think she's doing and make sure she can put your fears, or curiosities to rest, because unfortunately, she is the only person who can...

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