Is it too soon to talk marriage?

I was at a friend's house for New Year's. The people there were my friends from high school. We're all in our early 20's. I'm the oldest at 21.

A friend of mine is quite nosy and asked about my relationship. She asked if we were "getting serious" and just had a whole bunch of personal questions that she didn't really need to know the answer to :p

I did, however, tell her that yes, we were quite serious. She asked if we were considering marriage and I said we'd talked about it.

She then freaked out about how we're "too young" and how we haven't been together long enough.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We've been very serious about our relationship since the very early days of our relationship.

We've discussed marriage as an option for the future. Yes, we're young (he's 20), but it's not like we're running out tomorrow and getting married. We were thinking more along the lines of 2017 at the earliest.

I explained this to my friend and she still thinks we're crazy.

But now I'm confused. If you think about it, disregarding our ages for a minute, isn't it kind of logical?

We've been together for 4 years. Have been very serious for the entire time, both are looking for a spouse, and we both have the same goals and values.

And before you ask, I am graduating college next Fall and he will be continuing toward a doctorate. We want to wait until I am graduated and employed and for him to get into his grad school. This wedding talk is for a bit in the future yet.

If we were say, 25, this wouldn't be weird for her, but because we're young (mind you, we've had nearly half of our HS graduating class get married already), she thinks it's weird.

So, do you think it's weird?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, it's not weird. You and your boyfriend are thinking clearly, made well-thought plans are it's indeed the natural course of a relationship like yours.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Your friend sounds like a typical, damaged western girl. You sound like one of the VERY few emotionally healthy girls left out tere.

    I don't know why, but many sad girls think marriage should only be done once you've partied away your youth and are on the tail end of your youth and beauty.

    IT's a broken, pitiful and septic world view.

    It sounds like you & ur boyfriend have got a good thing going. Don't mind the pathetic girls who are probably stewing in mental illness and deeply rooted jealousy

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What Girls Said 2

  • She might be jealous of you for all you know. THe way she responded in this situation is NOT normal. SHe does not sound like she has your best interest at heart. You have been dating for 4 years and she doesn't want you guys to get married? She is sabotaging your life HARDCORE!!! that would be terrible - to date somebody for 4 years and not marry them. I know you are only 20 years old but you have been with the same person for 4 years so I think it's the logical choice.

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  • Sounds like you guys are mature enough to decide this for yourselves. Kind of sounds like Boy Meets World Corey and Topanga. Good luck.

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