My bf and i have been together for over a year. I'm the first relationship he's had in almost 10 years (so he says) and i'm the first girlfriend he's ever dated with kids. we split up once for over a week and we got back together. (hes not the type to take women back after they split up). he's older than i am. at first (before the split up) he wasn't sure where we stood. we were just taking it a day at a time. but after our break up, his mood changed. he became a lot more loving, and caring. he didn't want kids and i didn't want anymore children (I already had one from a previous marriage), but i became pregnant and before the split up he was so harsh about it and wanted me to terminate the pregnancy but now, he's excited. when he talks about the future its always "us" or "we" never "I" anymore. and now I've noticed he started calling me his "wife" instead of girlfriend, and considers our relationship a marriage now, and he's so great with my son, he acts like a father figure to my son and always says that he thinks of my son and I first. thats his priority. he even plans on buying the dream house i've always wanted. (a house on a lake)... to be honest, he reminds me so much of my father (who died when i was 20)... should i be worried that he's gonna pop the question? I mean i love him, but i have no plans on getting married. i hate the idea, and i have told him this a lot. (I was married before, and it turned into a bad domestic violence type of marriage) so im really weary on getting married again. Its not that i have commitment issues, but i dont wanna get married again just to go through another divorce. Is he wanting to get married, or am i over thinking?
Most Helpful Girl
He sounds like an amazing person.
He treats your son as his, he obviously loves you, he commits to you, he obviously wants a family with you now. Maybe at first he had doubts about it, or freaked out because you were pregnant, but that is normal. He is making a really big effort based on what you're saying.
I get why you're scared, believe me. Going through divorce is painful for you, him, and your children, but when you start something already looking at the negative outcome the negative outcome is bound to come. You should stay positive. Every marriage has problems, but he sounds like a decent man who would never abuse you in any way, and you have a kid with him that decerves to have a nice united family.
Maybe you should start seeing marriage without a negative connotation. Look at the good in him, look at what he has to offer both to you and your children. Think of how it might actually make you happy. Marriage is beautiful. Some people fuck it up anad ruin it for the rest of us, but you're obviously devoted to him, and he's obviously divoted to you.
I say think about it. He might not even pop the question, but if he ever does, think about it. It might be the best thing in your life.