Would you ever consider a polygamorous marriage?

Not as in being married to multiple people, but being married to one person because you've fallen in love with them but still open honestly both of you enjoying sleeping with other people as well. (?)
For me, it's really the only marriage I would be in.

Updates:
Sex and love are two entirely different things. Sex is mechanical and chemical. Love is emotional and mental. I believe that trust is more important than monogamy. And frankly, monogamy is pretty unnatural

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Most Helpful Girl

  • While there is no conclusive evidence to state whether humans should be monogamous or polygamous, I prefer monogamy. I understand that there are people who prefer polyamorous relationships, kudos to them, but it is not for me. :(
    I put too much attachment to sex, for me it (cheesy, corny, etc.) but like an expression of love. I know there are other ways, but I see it as a "connect" (I guess) of souls or something. I can't explain it. Kinda like a spiritual sense. And no, this isn't like "I can make you see god" or me just screaming "oh god, oh god, oh god". But I mean like it has more attached to it for me, than just sex. And no, I am not religious. I'm atheist.
    I understand that this is just me, not many people put so much attachment to sex and can easily separate it from love.

    More power to the people who can find a relationship to work for them. If you and your partner are on board, then be happy and continue with that.
    But I know for me, I wouldn't be able to. I prefer monogamy.

    I cannot explain this attachment that I put to sex. But this picture pretty much shows what I mean. And yes, it's corny and cheesy and lame. I am also a hopeless romantic though:
    encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images

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    • the picture you placed is a depiction of tantric sex which happens to be how I engage also. The only difference between you an I is how many people we engage with. But more power to you, and congratulations on phrasing yourself the most clearly, constructively, and non-judgementally. My only remark would be to stop cutting yourself down in calling it cheezy. It's what feels right for you and thats awesome. Celebrate it, don't make fun of it. :)

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    • Lol thanks girlie :) you too

What Guys Said 19

  • No, I could not and would not do that. It's either me and her only, or it's nothing.

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    • don't know why you got downvotes for this

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    • Wasn't me. He's one of the few that didn't shit on polyamory. Just stated his preference. That's respectable in my book

    • I understand the down votes;) But I believe if that makes you happy, then go for it dude, hope you find that awesome one.

  • I am with you on this one. I would love to be in a marriage (or long term commitment) with somebody who I can trust, be intimate with, love and do the whole close couple thing. But also have the open rule where we can sleep with other people and explore our fantasies. So its like a mix of the security as well as the adventure. My girl says I can have high class sex workers on the side but she is just doing it to keep me and I don't like it, I would prefer meeting a girl (like you) who sees it the same way.

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    • Why thank you *tips bolo cap* but you'd have to be cool with the fact I have sex with men, women, and abinary classes of sex and gender.

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    • I just became an even bigger fan of will smith

    • Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow also had this but one of them broke a set rule. Its like threesomes. A universal rule with threesomes if you with a loving partner, is to show far more affection to your loving partner or if its a FFM, the two females have more of a go with each other than the loving MF couple.

  • Not trying to be combative, why even get married? Why not casually date? What does marriage afford you?

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    • Celebrating your commitment to one another. Why does everyone think you can only love someone if they're the only one you're sleeping with:P

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    • "Actually traditional marriage had nothing to do with loyalty and was based on a man collecting wives and owning them as property" Ohhhh, I see you are one THOSE women. Okay.

    • The kind that reads?

  • I don't think I could do it, no. I'd just rather not get married if that's the case.

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  • I'll never understand the concept of being in a relationship, saying you love someone, while sleeping with other people. It really doesn't make sense to me. If I wanted to sleep with whomever I wanted, I'd have just stayed single. I wonder if this is a similar thought process cheaters have. But no matter; to each their own, just not for me.

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    • I'm not a cheater. I don't have a "cheater" mentality. I have a logical mentality that's able to distinguish the difference between bullshit social mores and realistic approaches to life based on our genetic makeup and biology

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    • Asker and myself can both agree you did mention more then "to each their own". But not a problem, you are correct, to each their own and you showed your point of view. Im sure you will an awesome girl.

    • She is pretty amazing, actually. Godspeed.

  • This is not polygamy it's just "Open Marriage", and I would, because then that's one less issue to deal with.

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    • Well then open marriage is the best marriage

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    • Yeah, stupid is predictable. You did exactly what I said you would: re-affirm what you already "know." I'm too lazy to hand feed it to you, when you are probably too narcissistic and arrogant to come grip with reality anyway, probably the same reason "no comment" is the state of your relationships, I'm sure you've heard it before, so be a grumpy jaded man you obviously love yourself! Tomorrow is another day with new questions, lets just agree to disagree. I know you need the last word so go on... Bite! Hehe

    • Holy fuck I thought you were gone.

  • This is the only kind of relationship that is real to me. I don't want marriage at all, but polyamoury is the only way to go. So essentially, yes, not only would I, I wouldn't have it any other way! Bravo to you too!

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    • Hehe, oh, it's you!

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    • Ha, that sounds like something is say

    • I'd*
      Fucking autoincorrect

  • I would never ever EVER consider something like that. Like I would leave instantly if that was suggested

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  • No. I wouldn't ever even consider that kind of "marriage." It wouldn't be marriage (to me at least) at all.

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  • Skip the hassle of marriage and just have an open relationship.

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  • Nope, not for me. That compeltely defeats the point of marriage.

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  • For me when I have sex with someone I seem to love them more. If my girlfriend was into a polygamous relationship I would not have gotten with her in the first place. I believe in a monogamous relationship/marriage.

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  • Well poly, actually makes more sense to me. Because let's face it at some point in your relationship you need a different perspective to help you stay bonded with your partner.

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  • On the contrary, sex is not mechanical and more is your destiny. The goal of life is to reproduce. That's why sex is part of a relationship.

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    • Reproduction doesn't have anything to do with relationships, it has to do with biology. Two completely separate things

    • Well, having sex with two people is saying you aren't enough for me in bed.

    • No, it's saying "I like sex. Everyone does it differently. Let's enjoy life and explore. Fucking taste the colors of the rainbow" -shit now I'm daydreaming of skittle sex...

  • yup yup thats how it is with me and angel. she gets the lesbian girls i get the straight girls and we split the bi girls. thats why dating bi girls is the best, instead of cheating you just bring her home and share her with your wife :)

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  • I personally would not want to be in a polygamous marriage.

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  • It would be my preferred state, to be honest.

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  • Fuck no. That's for mentally ill people.

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  • There are kingdoms in the middle east, where the king still has multiple wives. I personally don't want to get married buttttt if I did, I probably would try a polygamous marriage. Truly don't think humans were meant to be married to just one person. That's a societal thing forced on us

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    • Humans weren't *meant* to be married at all, lol. Humans were around a lot longer than marriage. And polygamy is different from polyamoury, I approve of the later, not of the former. But yeah, I agree with you in principle.

    • I agree. I think marriage as a whole is pretty much complete bullshit, which is why I essentially said the only chance in me ever getting married is if it were polyamorous

What Girls Said 18

  • No, not ever. I'm far too jealous and if I am going to marry someone, I should be the only one they are being sexual with, otherwise, it's cheating and I'm obviously not okay with that. In my opinion, if someone wants to sleep with numerous other people, they shouldn't get married in the first place.

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    • It isn't cheating if it is consensual. And jealousy is an issue regardless of how many partners you have lololol

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    • All my partners and boyfriends/girlfriends ARE faithful. "Faithful" doesn't necessarily mean "monogamous" it means someone you can TRUST. And "allow" ? Are you fucking kidding me? Would he have to ask you for permission to go to the strip club with his buddies too? Would he have a curfew?

    • @Asker If you actually read the dialogue here, I used the term "allow" and put it in quotation marks because MethalHead used the term "consensual" in his comment to me. And to yes, to me, faithful does mean monogamous. If I trust someone, they shouldn't be out fucking other people. Look, you asked for opinions here, so no need to get pissy and hostile just because I don't agree with you.

  • It's not for me. Why bother getting married if you're just going to sleep with other people or be in a polyamorous relationship? I don't see the point.

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    • I don't really care what people do though. Everybody has a different definition of what a relationship is and that's fine.

      I wish the down voter would tell me why they disagree.

  • Oh... one person in my bed. And a cat or two or more. But one man. That's all. One husband is plenty. I couldn't marry more than one man. It would be dreadful for everyone.

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  • Never ever ever. I plan on giving myself fully and only to my husband, and I expect him to do the same for me. Knowing he was sleeping with other girls would break me. And the idea of letting another man besides him touch me sexually makes me sick.
    I disagree with you full-heartedly on the idea sex and love are two completely different things. They go hand in hand.

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  • Marriage is about choosing one life partner to share almost everything with. It's actually a beautiful thing to have that one person in the world to have sex with, come home to, have children with. You have one designated person to have sex with whenever and however you want. Having sex with multiple people is something you do before you make that convenant or what you do before you become mature enough to realize the true meaning of sex. And plus marriage is a very sacred and spiritual thing and it truly throws a dark shadow on it to welcome strangers or friends into the deepest most private parts of marriage. And if you do believe in God then it's just easier to say that adultery is a sin and that's just a complete no no according to the commandments.

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  • Absolutely not. Sex for me is much more than just "something to do". I can't imagine having sex with anyone that I don't love. I absolutely could not do it and would not want to anyway.

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    • I didn't say it's just "something to do" all I said is it's mechanical and separate from love and romance. I don't think it's like "there's nothing on tv, I'm gonna go blink my neighbor" :P

    • No, no, I didn't mean you personally! Sorry if that came off that way. xD I mean, it's not really a physical response for me. I literally can't get turned on by something physical. So it's not like "oh, I feel horny, I need a release". There has to be some sort of emotional connection (love) that provokes it. Obviously I've been turned on/aroused before, but it's usually due to an extreme emotional reaction (love). Plus, I'm weird in the sense that I don't think it's boring to have one sex partner. I actually find the thought of being with only one person and only sleeping with one person to be romantic and arousing in itself. Maybe that's a bit weird.. xD

    • OH!! Lol okey dokey then. I can respect a greysexual :) sorry for mistaking your message

  • Whats the point of marriage then
    Might as well engage in casual sex which is low cost and objective met

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  • I don't think you mean polygamous marriage but actually an open marriage / relationship? The two are different. I definitely would not ever want to be in a polygamous marriage and I'm 99% sure I'd never want to be in an open relationship.

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  • Might as well not get married if that's the case. You save yourself the money for the wedding, the hassle, and stress of the preparation. I am not interested in getting involved in something like this. Marriage is for two and both should stay committed and faithful; that's my opinion.

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  • Uhm no way wtf

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  • I prefer to have only one man :)
    If he ever tried to have others I'd kick his balls into his eye sockets xD

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  • Hellllll naaaa. If I EVER got married again there would be no sharing of any kind. Period.

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  • Being married means commitment to one another, its not a gateway to have affairs! :)

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  • I don't believe you can truly be in love and want other people so no I wouldn't. I just don't like the idea at all.

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    • by the way you're saying monogamy isn't natural? Do you know how ridiculous that is? Humans do so many things that aren't natural. We have evolved past the norm and comparing us to other animals is insane because our intellect is far superior. It would only make sense that the more intelligent we become the more we change and the more unnatural we are.

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    • And never will be cuz you're wrong

    • Oooh my bad "leading scientists". Excuse me if I'm not as ignorant as you are and just believe everything I see on the internet. Got anymore sources? Because that's bull. Just because the way they communicate is complex doesn't meant they're more intelligent than us or even close for that matter.

  • absolutely not. if it's like that then there's no point in getting married.

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  • Hell yeah I would totally consider it. Why only bang one when you can have two?

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  • No I wouldn't though I grew up in a polygamous family whereby one of my uncle he has two wives. Polygamous marriage isn't something I find it bizarre but me as a semi-conservative person I don't want to share my husband with other women. It's just so unacceptable. My uncle maybe fair to each of his wives, he gave them houses, cars, everything but then love isn't something you can share (for me) in the context of marriage. There's also a bit of jealousy here and there, even the thought of you husband spending the night with other wife is also just so heart clenching.

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  • NO FUCKING WAY.

    Sex and love might be two different things but if you're sleeping with other people, you don't love me.

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