Would you stay in a marriage for the kids even though you no longer love that person?

So after trying and trying nothing works, the feelings are just gone. You guys have 3 kids and you feel like it's getting worse. Do you stay for the kids or go?


0|0
8|3

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes staying for the kids could be worse. It will inevitably crash and burn and the kids most likely know that there is trouble in paradaise. Get out while you're still on speaking terms with your spouse. It will make your life much easier in the long run. I know couples that have opted to take that route and it seems to have been much easier on their kids. They can still go to the same weddings, birthday parties, etc. stress free for everyone involved. They have kids together so they are going always going to have to have that connection in their lives. Might as well keep it friendly instead of letting the resentment build up until it explodes.

    1|0
    0|0
    • This is the response I've been waiting for because it's exactly how I feel

    • I thought like this once but then I saw a divorce that was catastrophic because the children became the pawns in a game of money and who gets what. That was a few years back and now the two children invovled want nothing in terms of a relationship because of that experience. I guess there really is no win-win situation here, everyone loses either way unless your lucky to fall in love again if you give it a shot and stay

    • But did they wait too long to get a divorce? A friend of mine in junior high's parents were divorced and you would never know it. He came to all of her birthday parties, prom, they got family pics on the same day to save money with the photographer, etc. They have a great relationship. Same goes for my aunt's husband. He was divorced and him and his ex get along pretty well at their children's weddings, grandkid's events, etc. too.
      But, like you said, I do know of a family where it was a shit show and one child lived with the mother and one lived with the father. But one of the children had health problems and the mother was bat shit crazy. It was bad after the divorce, but it was bad before the divorce too. The kids turned out alright.

What Guys Said 3

  • I imagine it'd be best to split up if the differences are truly irreconcilable.

    Modeling healthy behaviors for children seems to be an incredibly important component of good parenting, and I wouldn't want them to think that staying in unhappy relationships is the right thing to do.

    1|0
    0|0
    • *I should add that I'm not a parent, so my opinion has zero experience to back it up. I still believe that this is how I'd feel about it, but I think my opinion deserves an asterisk anyway.

    • I feel you on that. It make them think that they dont deserve better in a relationship

  • Honestly sounds like something I'd do to be honest.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I would stay. I have seen the repicussions of a divorce and sadly the poeple who suffer the most are the children. I would never do that to my children or any child for that matter

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don't get why kids blame everything on their parents divorce

    • I don't know honestly, maybe they need some excuse as an outlet for how they feel or to justify what their doing?

What Girls Said 7

  • If the person is not abusive I would stay with them. Relationships don't have to mean permanent attraction to each other. As long as their is mutual responsibility and commitment, people should stay together.

    1|0
    0|0
  • In my personal opinion, REAL love never goes away. It can evolve and change and become a different kind of love (romantic to platonic). Not everyone shares this opinion. That being said, I would still love that person, I jugs wouldn't be in love with that person. I would do my darnedest to rekindle the old flame but if I still couldn't I would stay in that relationship for the kids. If there was a kind of abuse or infadelity then that is a different story.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No I wouldn't. Best to part way so that we all can lead a healthier and stress free relationship.

    1|0
    0|0
  • That's a tough call. I'm just here to check out answers :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • leave. i put myself and my feelings before my children. if im not happy there not happy

    0|0
    0|0
    • And thats why guys won't marry anymore.

    • Ummm your kids should always be first but I get what you're saying

    • if i can't take care of myself , say financially how will i be able to care for my offspring

  • I do just that. I don't love him anymore, we haven't had sex for 2 years (and I don't want any off of himif truth be known)
    I've had 4 affairs to combat the sex side of things but all they did was compound how shit/unloveable a person I am. 4 lots of getting dumped at 3-4 month mark does that to you! Brew I had never cheated ever until last year. It was purely sexual that I looked elsewhere.

    That's why I now chose to give up. Better the devil and all that. At least he remains a part of my life even if just in the imagination most of the time.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Wait till the kids grow up then go Or find new ways to rekindle the love maybe by role playing or changing looks from head to toe

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...