Do you still believe in marriage?

So lately I have heard a lot of stories about people who have been together for 20 years plus and are not married, they only live together and this seem to work. Well it seem to work better than getting married. Do you believe that it is necessary to get married or not? And why?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The hard truth is that marriage, from both a legal and religious aspect, has been destroyed.

    Prior to the 1960s, marriage was "until death" except for the most extreme of circumstances. Divorce was almost unheard of, and was associated with only the most scandalous marriages and cases of extreme abuse. When you got married, you did so with the full expectation that you weren't going to have the opportunity to change your mind later. As such, people took it seriously, and if you had problems in your marriage, you had to work them out. Breaking up/divorce largely wasn't an option.

    And from a religious standpoint, divorce had to be granted by the church, and again, was only granted in extremely rare circumstances.

    That has all changed. People marry and divorce nearly as easily as they pick a Netflix movie, and often with the same amount of thought.

    Similarly, marriage's advantages have largely gone away too. Marriage was created to ensure that wealth, titles, status, etc. stayed in the family, and that meant that the family needed to be "pure" - children born outside of a marriage were bastards who could not inherit or be in the line of succession. Such inheritance was of utmost importance for nearly all of human history (the Bible is full of such examples). But that also started changing in the 20th century, but mostly again in the 1960s, when bastardy was, as a concept, removed from the law.

    So, marriage really has little real value today. What matters, and what has always mattered, is that people WANT to be together, and are willing to work through the inevitable problems that life brings us in order to STAY together. You don't need to be married to do that.

    Largely today, marriage is good for one group of people: divorce lawyers.

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    • I second this opinion. Should get an MHO.

      Marriage in the 'common' tongue, is referred to a social acknowledgement of exclusivity of two people in a relationship, with expectations of committedness, loyalty, and dedication to each other.

      With other social expectations in place like "they will only have sex with each other ever, and only while in a marriage" etc, that is how marriages are encouraged to function.

      However, too many people in today's world do not want such commitment, whether it be due to work commitments, career, lack of ideals, or sometimes selfishness and greed. Hence, when they try to work 'marriage' and 'self interests' without any idea about what marriage should be, things go to hell real quickly.

      What is more important is the principle behind how a marriage relationship works. Thereafter then does 'marriage' make sense.

      In and of itself, the 'social' construct, it is not longer present.

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    • But if you are really going back to look at the history of marriage you need to remember the foundation was to pair lands and finances not money. Poor people didn't get rich for a very long time, only the rich. Romantic love was a joke, and not the foundation or reason of marriage, the church saw a way to prosper off of such a pairing, but before it was families drawing up papers. Most people were not necessarily faithful to the person they married because it wasn't about that, it was about continuing the family lifeline and finances.

      The reason divorce became such an option was because of women's liberation, before the 1960's women were not allowed to own property in a lot of countries, not until around the 50's could women even have a bank account, so getting divorced meant losing out on any sort of support. Once they received the support they left their husbands (many women felt trapped). Divorce became much more popular when women were able to get alimony...

    • Back then, men could be just as trapped, by having to support a wife that spent every cent he made, or decided not to do anything to care for him (he was expected to be the earner for the family, working outside the home, often in extremely dangerous jobs), etc. It went both ways. But those were also exceptions to the rule.

      Most married couples worked on their marriages because they knew that, once married, they had no alternative. That urgency is completely lost today, when people are routinely on their 3rd marriages at age 40.

What Guys Said 86

  • (1.) I don't believe getting married is necessary. Not everyone can handle or wants to commit to the responsibilities marriage requires. Marriage is like a job or like college, not everyone can handle it.
    (2.) I personally believe in marriage, and my personality (ISTJ) supports it since I'm quite loyal. It's really all I want in the end. The idea of multiple sex partners that I'm not committed to and relationships that will eventually end doesn't appeal to my interests.

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    • Looks like some people can't handle marriage.

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    • I think opinion owner meant to say

      "Marriage requires work and effort, but the payoff is incredible and not calculable in money".

      "Work and effort doesn't mean free and easy, random anything goes and if you two somehow clicked, it would work out".

      Afterall, no two people are alike, but they CAN still make incredible things happen.

      Ever wondered why most relationship issues boil down to 'communication issues'? Differences isn't the problem. The problem is misinterpreting differences as 'bad'.

    • @soneoak said it perfectly. Thanks.

  • I don't think it's nessesary. Marraige just over complicates things, you buy a pricey engagement ring that has no resale value, blow money on a ceremony where you invite tons of people, most of whom you don't like and then are legally committed to the other person. Now thats fine if things work out, however in the case of divorce it was all a waste and then you're also at risk of paying alimony if you are higher earner. I don't think the paper makes anyone more likely to stay together, so to me the only pros are the tax benefits but the price of the ring, ceremony and risk of alimony counteract those tax benefits so in the end I don't think marriage is worth it.

    Also the dating pool isn't exactly confidence inspiring, forget about marriage, it's hard enough find someone who's even worth dating.

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  • Marriage is (IMO), supposed to make people try to stay together and work things out instead of just giving up right away. Unfortunately, a lot of that power has been lost thanks to the "enlightened" attitudes of modern leaders of social reform. Marriage is supposed to make it harder for people to just split up, by making said process more difficult than working out the issues. This is to direct human nature (which is to take the easy way out) in a positive direction, ensuring that the couple stays together, thus assisting in the emotional and mental health & growth of the children the union produces. I believe in marriage (when it's treated with the proper respect) but I do not believe in people and their integrity. in my opinion, the problems with marriage these days don't originate from the arrangement itself, but from the blatant disrespect and callousness with which people treat it.

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    • Actually, just the opposite, marriage didn't make it 'difficult' for people to split up.

      Marriage used to make it 'difficult' for people to 'get together'.

      That way, you actually picked your partners carefully. Once we did away with that, splitting has always been roughly the same. Even if you didn't legally 'split', you could still live apart for many years as if you're single, and do whatever else.

      The getting together part was what mattered, and now, it is gone.

    • I can see your point, but I still think divorce is enough of a deterrent to make people think twice about just throwing in the towel

  • Marriage is important for several reasons. 1 most people still want the ceremony and the commitment from someone. 2. Marriage has legal ramifications ownership, finances, health, etc. And 3 license to give yourself to another without fear they will leave you because you are both committed to each other.

    The problem with marriage is not divorce it is that we settle and marry for the wrong reasons. We marry jerry because she is hot and works. And she married him because he has financial security.

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  • The way I see it , marriages are like... the old little notebook sheet that you and your best friends write together as a
    CONTRACT OF THE BRETHREN who shall never betray each other or he shall die a million times over.

    If you're going to sign it , you should hold your words to be true.

    It's a ceremony of sort , not necessary but it sorts of reinforces the message. So yeah. I do believe in such a social contract even tho you might not really die a million times over.

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  • Yes married life is good thing but doesn't hurt to live together
    to get to know someone.. I believe in married life 100% but
    I think marriage is just a piece of paper even thou i do believe in it
    i think both husbands and wife's should have their own separate
    banking accounts.. I believe in sharing with women to pay bills,
    do laundry, house work she needs done, cooking.. It needs to be
    team work to make a relationship work.. If a woman doesn't want
    something in relationship she needs to tell me as well as i need
    tell her things that i don't want.. I believe in compromising and
    walking away from fights, arguments, i believe in space too

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    • Yes i like commitment most certain, i never want marriage
      like my late mom and present dad had together too many
      fights, arguments, i was abused verbally by them and unloved
      it affect me and my sister growing up as well not good at all
      i don't want cry over anymore women i have cried enough
      over my ex girlfriends.

  • If they're together, cohabitating, have children and, do married people stuff, then yes they're married even just without the legal protection and benefits of a legal marriage.

    They'd just just common law status where that applies.
    Now to me that seems like you're being shortchanged, what about life insurance, health insurance, and the like.

    I know statistically speaking, marriage doesn't mean to some what it did in pervious generations
    However that being said, I don't think marriage every was idealistically motivated.
    It's just folks in earlier generations got married for the reason that sex was something only married folks did, so they wanted it and got married to enjoy it.
    They then stayed together because unlike our generation, whereby we walk away from marriage because we're supposedly fell out of love.
    They didn't because they held onto that commitment of and promises of faithfulness, honor, forsaking all others, ...
    Us, ... Love=Commitment
    Earlier generations, ... Commitment=Love

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  • I'm glad that couples don't need to get married. It allows the guy to feel loved and not used. The girl loves him for him and doesn't need some special tradition to validate it.

    Plus honestly, it's mainly hypergamous women who are really looking to get married anyway and I'm not a fan of those. The amount of women who are willing to marry a guy who makes less is rare. It does happen but it's very rare. What's basically turning people away from marriage is the typical married couple that inevitably ends up with a woman initiating a divorce and taking a huge amount of the guy's earnings with her while she slanders his name in the process. The more this goes on, the less people who will be getting married.

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    • I'm curious about the person who down voted this. I'm not anti marriage. However I was married and @Theguyoverthere 's description pretty accurately describes my experience (and it's not a 50-50 asset division either). On the other hand, for me, after the initial shock and hardship! It has giving me the impetus to focus more on what matters.

    • Happens when shit relationship happens, and the marriage failed because it wasn't built right. Both party at fault, but sometimes the woman 'deals more damage' in the aftermath, making it an unfair situation.

      This isn't to say that marriage itself is at fault, and the conclusion you reached, I believe you have doubts about yourself.

      You have a dream, it got smashed, doesn't mean it's just a dream that you throw away or laugh at. You still have it.

      Marriage in the most ideal sense is a recognised relationship, not merely by mortal men, but by God - (not christian God, just God of whatever culture the marriage is taking place, I'm Asian so heh). Actually, ESPECIALLY by GOD.

      But since God is kind of nowhere nowadays, all that expectations and responsibility all flew out the window and what's left are the litigious crap that is quite unfair if not all the pieces are on the board together with them.

    • This answer sucks

  • Still and always :) One of my dreams.

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    • Because it's a serious commitment. Sometimes people use to compromise some things if these are against their spouse.

  • I believe in marriage if the couple believes in working things out no matter what they are and not giving up on the marriage. In some cases marriages do work and in most cases they don't work for whatever reasons (lying, cheating, abuse, drugs, trusting issues, children, etc). I have a friend who was married for a year and she got divorced. Not sure what the issues were but whatever they are makes me want wait before getting married until I know for sure that me and the girl can see eye to eye on a lot things and what the same thing in life for ourselves and our children if we have any. Would I ever get married? Depends on a lot of things, first I would have to meet the love of my life, I know it sounds silly. But I believe in finding someone who makes you feel complete and whole. Second, take a year to get to know the person inside and outside. No rushing towards marriage just yet even if we are in our late 20's early 30's. Decide on what we want from life (children, house, etc). Do we see the same thing. What do we don't see eye to eye about? It's ok to have disagreements but don't make a good deal about it and get upset. Third, money talk. Fourth Children, do we want any? How many? Can we afford them?

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  • Yes. I believe in it. Marriage is the commitment shared between two people to stay together and to stay loyal to each other.

    Let's look at why marriage fails. It fails because of dishonesty, lying, cheating, abuse, any number of reasons really. Many times, Marriage will also fail because either the male or the female settled for less than they are worth and will latch onto anyone, good or bad, just because they want to be loved. The quality of the person most of the time is not questioned. When it is realized that they cannot fix a broken person, The damage is already done.

    People don't take the moral road to keeping a marriage strong and healthy and sadly, choose not to fight for it when tempted by another, or any other reason. It takes an effort to make one work. That effort has to work both ways.

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    • Whatever you just said can exist without marriage.

      Now if you start recognising other culture's way of marriage, maybe you'd see what marriage is such a big deal.

      It is because of "God".

      In chinese culture, Fortune, Blessing, Heaven's will etc all come into play. The dates, the partners, etc everything is all meticulously chosen so that Heaven will approve.

      Many stories of star-crossed lovers and their tragedies are emphasized, 'short term lust or long term happiness?" That is chinese culture.

      GOD is in it. And GOD watches over the marriage, to see that you fulfil the responsibilities of marriage.

      Eventually, when God is tossed to the winds, and girls are continually oppressed for 'social' expectation, without any 'blessing', then of course, she would act up, and then start doing shit and getting the 'men' to follow through on the 'loyalty etc etc'.

      All crap and garbage really. Marriage, family, etc, everything is failing and regressing.

    • I guess I am going to leave that up to your own interpretation. Everyone does have an opinion. For some, It is a spiritual committment, For others, It is a legal document, For others, Like yourself, The notion of it is pure shit. It's all in what you choose I guess.

    • And yes, Marriage and the notion of it and what was supposed to be represented is being disregarded. Most of the failures are because of the direction society is going. People are what is in their environment. They adapt to what they see on the outside world. They adapt to what they see everyone else doing. It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right. Most people have taken a part of failure culture and don't even know it.

  • Marriage is not some magical thing that changes everything or make two people more compatible with each other. Either you have a good match or you don't, marriage will not change that.

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  • This question reminds me of an old episode of the Nick cartoon Doug, where Doug's dad tells him "You have to keep time son, your grandma doesn't have a watch... she doesn't _BELIEVE_ in them"

    I always thought that was hilarious. Like time is going to stop because this old lady doesn't believe in watches. I don't even know what they mean by "doesn't believe in them".

    Just wrapping my brain around the idea makes me laugh so I can't figure out why it's so funny to me lol

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  • never believed in marriag, and of course i will never do :-P

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    • You think marriage mans less sex? Well turns out that's not true! Check out what I said here (the username to look for is (sin-and-love"): pieladyusa.deviantart.com/.../Virginity-is-Bad-313432269
      Score 1 for the Christians.

    • @Skadouchebag I believe Klaatu just doesn't believe in marriage.

      I have felt this way sometimes too, when it feels like it's impossible to really have any real meaningful relationship with girls. They sometimes miss the point, cant' seem to get what I'm saying, or have given up themselves and kind of screwed around with so many other guys that it's kind of pointless suddenly wanting a 'marriage'.

      Things like "fairness" is thrown to the wind, e. g. "ONLY I HAVE THE RIGHT AND SAY TO WHAT I DO WITH MY BODY". And she proceeds to fuck some random guy. And afterthat, saying that "This idea of loyalty is man's idea to oppress women and keep them from having freedom!".

      And then she goes on to talk about marriage.

      Those things can really throw off people's trust in 'marriage'.

      No commitment, no recognition that men also want exclusivity and commitment.

      Nothing.

      Without that, marriage is NOTHING, and can't be believed in.

      I too would rather be single and alone.

  • To be honest, I see them to be married, even though they aren't "officially" married. Is it necessary to get married? No. Marriage is not for everyone, even though certain people in society say otherwise. Do I believe in marriage? I'm hoping so, but these days I'm finding it more and more difficult (to believe in it). Being married doesn't have to be a piece of paper. If anything, it's the vow and commitment to stay and love that other person in your life for your entire life.

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  • You do not meed a marriage certificate right away, but eventually you do just to validate the existence of you and your spouse is valid in paper. Your kids and grand kids would want to know you made it official and not fabricated. It puts order in life.

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  • No, I do not see the need for marriage. In fact as it stands I have no plans to ever get married. Most relationships are doomed to failure and if things don't go as planned breakups are bad enough without involving judges and lawyers.

    Also marriage means commitment which translates to obligation. I don't want to be with someone because they feel obligated to be with me. I want to be with someone because they WANT to be with me. If they no longer want to be with me its best for both of us to find others who make us happy, if only for a time.

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  • firstly my culture diffirent. i think people have to married for live together. i think married is for live together. this is rule. this is family. everything is not sex. family very important. people can be married and also they have love everytime. childrens is good thing. i think family is true, live together is false.

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  • I believe in love, commitment, loyalty and honor whether or not legal marriage is involved.

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  • I believe strongly in marriage and I'm young. I don't know why but family has always been important to me. Marriage teaches discipline and self-control. And trust me, you'll get really lonely in ur late 70's

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  • My partner does she has been dreaming of hers it since she was a little girl apparently , maybe oneday i can make it happen for her

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    • How about you? Do you believe in it? Or would you get married just to make her happy?

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    • Correct that should have read take pictures

    • That is very sweet :)

  • If it works for you, why not?

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  • No I don't.

    Marriage has been sullied, dirtied and destroyed by heathens who have no respect for the institute of Marriage.

    I would actually like to see Marriage die off as I believe the vows taken by people cannot be adhered to be Heathens and as such aren't worth the paper they're printed on.

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    • What other people do shouldn't affect what you do. 9 of every ten people could shit on their doormats but it doesn't mean doormats are ruined for you.

    • Then you DO believe in marriage. You just want to purify it and remove the corruption that modern society has brought on it.

  • yes I do believe in it even when there are so many couples divorcing... because that doesn't proof that marriage isn;t a good thing anymore it says something about these people.

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  • Yes, but marriage is sacred and an agreement before God hence the term Holy Matrimony.

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    • True true, I just think some people forgot that.

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    • I'll tell you what. My parents almost got divorced, but my parents kept it together for the sake of their children. My dad always says when a husband and wife divorce, it only hurts the kids because it becomes a broken home. Then the kid will grow up one day and not value marriage or see it as important because their mother and father, whom set the example, had a failed marriage.

      Jesus laid the law and said that divorce is only appropriate because of marital unfaithfulness and sexual immorality, but you have even seen wise wives whom understood that an unfaithful husband may have sinned against them through sexual immorality, but forgave them and stuck it out anyways. Because eventually the husband understands that the wife is important and that she is like a diamond, but the woman on the side is only fools gold and will not stick around.

    • Matthew 19:3-10

      They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

      “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

      “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

      Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

      The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

  • Yeah just cause the divorce rates in America are high doesn't make me lose hope.

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  • I believe in marriage, its the ultimate way to show a girl how much she means to you and that you 100% need her in your life until you die

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  • The only reason I am against marriage is because of the fact that people still view it as a religious ceremony and that religion should control it and that the fact that gay people still can't get married in most countries that is something I am against. The fact that heterosexual marriage is only counted as real marriage annoys me if my uncle and his partner can be together for over 30 years and Kim kardashain can have a 72 day marriage than gay people should get married. And I also feel that a lot of people only like the wedding and not the actual marriage I feel that some people put to much effort on the wedding and don't think about the marriage. And I hate when people say that marriage is so sacred when half of all couples get divorced. I feel that besides the tax benefits I am against marriage you should be able to live together and be happy and I feel that a marriage shouldn't define a relationship so that is my view on it

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  • You must wait to see if your relationship is stable.. dont hurry to get married live your life first..

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  • I would like to be married someday. It shows real commitment, dedication, and it's important to have that with God involved thought the marriage.

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What Girls Said 83

  • I absolutely believe in marriage. It is an absolute necessity for me.

    I don't NEED to get married, but in order for my relationship to progress I do, if that makes sense. Many couples have sex and move in without being married and for me to reach those parts of a relationship that relationship must have progressed to marriage.

    Everyone in my family is married. My parents have a 25 year strong marriage, both my grandparents are married and still going strong. One pair is coming up on 60 years and the other celebrated 65 years before my grandfather died. I am surrounded by nothing other than successful, strong, committed relationships.

    Add to that my boyfriend comes from a very similar background and family structure and so marriage is a very important thing for us.

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    • My parents just passed their 40th anniversary and are still going, and both of my grandparents had been married for at least 50 years before both of my grandpas died within 5 years of each other. I'd like to believe in marriage, but it's getting harder and harder with each passing day in this society.

    • My family is pretty much like that too, I hope to meet a sensible girl like you, who would actually remain virgin til marriage.

      Sounds like a dream right?

      Marriage is an ideal, a dream. Dreams can become reality, but they don't just 'fall into place'.

      It encompasses fairness, truthfulness, faith, hope, sharing. If it doesn't have these elements, then the ideal of marriage is no longer. It's just a less than marriage, 'marriage'.

      There isn't exactly the 'freedom' to act like a single person, or to go around having casual sex and live the life of the party (srsly I have yet to read any fiction encompassing such ideas that seem remotely believable).

      The number of guys and girls available to reach that ideal is rapidly going towards 0. Women 'demand' sexual liberty, by all means go ahead. I don't see how that's going to work out towards an 'ideal marriage'.

      You have sex before marriage, there's no going back. You can still marry, but... have you an idea what its about?

    • It's very difficult to find a good marriage material individual. I don't think women are the only ones who should be keeping themselves pure for marriage. Men should too, but you don't see men preaching that virtue nowadays.

  • Oh yeah definitely. People get together quickly in the puppy love/honeymoon stage and don't put real life factors in play. Then they want to act single and wild like you should have thought about that before committing. Respect your partner and communicate with each other. People don't try and give up or become other people and shoe their real self after the puppy love stage. You hear more about divorces than marriages and marriages have tuned into big parties and spending thousand, shoot even hundreds of thousands but why? That is how you show love? Through materials not something internal? Anyway I do believe in it and seek it. Haters gonna hate if they disagree but idc. Respect my opinion and I will return it.

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    • *clap clap clap* I wish I could bookmark this particular comment or something!

  • i do. i think i will until I'm like 30 [if i live that long]. after that i guess my hope would begin to fade away.
    i wouldn't say necessary. everyone is entitled to live life as they wish. as u mentioned, different things just work for some people, and for others they dont. marriage isn't actually just like, some kinda legal bond. the symbolism behind it is so much more than that, and a lot of people tend to overlook it.

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    • If you live that long? o_O

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    • yeah a lot of good points raised here, particularly about how culture influences the perception of it and the general misconception people have of it. @g-daz

    • :) yeah sdgdgsdgf

  • I don't believe it's necessary to get married no. But I do believe in marriage.

    If you think about it, marriage is a very sexist thing. If you go back to the days when it meant more, a man chose a woman for her dowry (money usually). And then her father would walk her down the aisle and give her and her dowry to said male. So basically, her father sold her. She was a transaction with boobs.

    If we're being brutal, marriage is a religious thing. I'm not religious so I shouldn't get married. But I still want to. I like the "traditional" aspects of it, I like being proud of my man to be able to take his name, etc. It's not the staple of being married for me, it's the benefits around it.

    However, and the best example is my best friend. He sees it as an unnecessary, expensive piece of paper that can be ripped and destroyed at any time, stripping the male of his wallet. And he is right, because generally speaking the woman gets most of the stuff, the children, etc.

    I think men get abused more often by marriage and divorce more so they are more negative of it. My boyfriend doesn't believe in marriage and doesn't want to get married. I am a child of divorce, so I don't look at it through rose tinted glasses, but maybe that's why I want to be married - to prove I'm a better woman than my mother (not hard). Basically I'm stubborn. :)

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  • To me married is simply a legal status. A marriage is signing of a record that gives me automatic legal rights concerning my husband and an easier way to file my taxes.

    The commitment, love, trust, teamwork, co-dependence (not in the bad way), etc are all components of a relationship, not a marriage. You do not need to me married to have these things. In fact these should all be well-established before you legally tie yourself to another person. Which is why I believe being married should have absolutely no effect on your relationship.

    I am not a person that believes that the answer to lower divorce rates is less marriages (except of course the obvious mathematics.) However I do believe if more people realized the legal and financial aspects of marriage are different from the emotional aspects of relationships: they would make better decisions.

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    • Marriage does, however, mean that the government won't label your children as "illegitimate".

    • That goes with legal rights and benefits. Illegitimate use to be a real problem for children, it even prevented them from being able to inherit money from their proven father as well as their mother. Now a days it is almost better to have illegitimate children if you are someone that relies upon government assistance.

  • Marriage as a reason for commitment between two individuals is not a need.
    Marriage as a final legal stage of a committed relationship that wants to end in having children is a crucial need.

    without marriage and it's legal stages and laws about possessions and sharing and children and legally uniting everything two people have, a couple who want to have children will have much problems in the future. also the children will have problems. simply marriage 'is' for the children. the couple are already, or 'should' be already committed and living with each other peacefully. if they are not they may as well avoid taking the relationship into other stages.

    One of the reasons that people should accept engaging in long term committed relationships and sexual activity before marriage is that it can lead to more satisfactory marriages. Though I say engaging in 'long term committed relationships' and having sex in those relationships, not short or sex-centred relationships. those are harmful and people inside them make less successful individuals in future committed relationships, especially marriage that is a committed relationship for life. But committed relationships before marriage, simply marriage-like relationships as you heard and are the relationships that may give you the thought that marriage is pointless, can help with the actual marriage very much.

    So again, if a couple want to have children for any reason, or are in a long term relationship that may end in having children they 100% better to marry.

    If they do not want children, that is their choice if they want to marry or not.

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  • If a couple is doing what works for them, then who am I to judge?
    I believe in a couple doing what's right according to them, and what makes them happy.

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  • Actually couples who aren't married are statistically more unstable than those who aren't. Stories you are hearing are exceptions and not the rule.

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  • I'm really old fashioned so I say if you're in love and can commit and have no doubts, get married. But I see why some people don't want to commit. My brother and his girlfriend have been together for a few years and his girlfriend has a son with an ex husband. She's great and they're obviously in love, but they're having trouble with custody of the boy and they live about 8 hours apart because of my brother's job and the fact that the boy's dad won't budge on custody so my brother's girlfriend has to live near where the boy's dad is until this is settled. Also, their families haven't had good luck with marriages. Our dad's first wife was a huge mistake and both of her parents have been married at least twice.

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  • As a Christian, I definitely believe in marriage. I feel like it is more secure and less fragile, like you're making a life-long commitment that wouldn't ever be made "just cause". Married couples would surely be less likely to break up seeing as they've made that promise, and that's the reason the bible says that sex is only for marriage. In marriage, I believe you wouldn't feel the need to constantly prove yourself to your spouse, though of course proving your love is necessary at times. It symbolizes unity for life, and a promise like that isn't going to break easily.

    Of course, marriage isn't necessary if your faith doesn't say it is. I completely respect that you might believe it's not necessary to marry to start a family or have a sexual relationship. I hope you can respect my view that to do these things, I would need to be married. :)

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  • My Aunty and Uncle only got married last year they had been engaged for 22 years and been together since they were like 13 and 15 (now in there mid 40s). The wedding was actually a surprise for my Aunty. myself, my mum and my uncle put it all together, and it was held at a local small church, we even got the local newspaper to do a report on it.

    Basically what I am saying is a marriage shouldn't be forced or stressful or anything like that. You should feel like you have to get married, because you can get married at any age, my grandparents got married when I was 6 (they wanted to wait till all the grandchildren were born, then my uncle had 4 more kids and my mum had 1)

    I would like to get married but it definitely won't be big, it'll be tiny and short and sweet so we can just party all night long like my family is known for doing 😂

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  • There will be people that give you a million logical-sounding excuses why marriage isn't for them. It true it doesn't mean much to most people nowadys. But just like one person can mean the world to you and nothing to someone else; a marriage can be your rock, your foundation in a relationship. There are still people that see a wedding ring, and back off. If you love that person, and never want to seperatw from them, show the world hat they belong o someone. Show the world YOU belong to someone. Have a goal in your relationship. Dont take the easy way out. Dont be the person that says" Well we just live together. We aren't married I can leave at any time". Some people dont do this on purpose but. subconsciously. Marriage is still really respected. Yes, it is less than it used to be.

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  • You don't believe in the institution, you believe in the person. I believe if you have the right person, stand up to the world and proclaim it with a marriage ceremony, a bond for life. If they're the right person. Don't do it because you think you have to. I will marry and happily so, and my fiance wants to marry, is appalled at the idea of not doing it when we can afford it, but we are confident and comfortable in our choice with one another, so for us it is an easy choice.

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  • I never believed in marriage. It can work for some people, but it wouldn't work for me.
    I think it's only necessary to get married, if you think that marriage will make your relationship stronger and "official". By this, I'm NOT saying that only married couples have strong relationships, BUT some people believe in this and I'm NOT going to judge them.

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  • I've been married once & at the time I was so sure it's what I wanted. I had NO idea my husband would change completely & not be interested in me anymore 2 years later. So yes I believe marriage is great, with the right person. Sometimes you can't keep going if you're the only one trying which was my case. So if both people try then it's great! :)

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  • I believe in it, yea you don't NEED to get married.. But I'd feel like we're still in the dating stage if marriage wasn't in our future... To be honest I'm afraid if a guy doesn't like the thought of marriage most likely it's because he doesn't want to commit, and if he is no longer interested he could just pack his things and jet.. No explanation, except "we weren't even married". I don't want anything fancy, a courthouse a cupcakes would be fine for me. A man that is all for committing is extremely attractive.. To each their own though.

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  • I was going to say yes out I read the "Most Helpful Opinion" and now I'm thinking that it's not really necessary if you don't want to do it. I believe in a long term relationship with a person you love very much and have made a wise decision in being with.. but to legally be married isn't really something I think is an obligation. People should do whatever they feel comfortable with. You can always go through all the traditions and have a formal occasion without being legally documented as a married couple, so maybe some people just want to avoid the legal circumstances for some reason (I don't know much about such things) even if they aren't expecting an end to their relationship at all. You should just do what you like best.

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  • Even facing a possible divorce I think marriage is the only way to go. It would be too easy to walk away when times get rough otherwise, and times will always get rough. I'd say some people are successful just living together but I think not many would be for long term. The commitment means something to me.

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    • But that's the issue: marriage doesn't make things significantly harder to end the relationship anymore. It used to make it virtually impossible, but today, people divorce almost on a whim. and marry with even less consideration.

    • @mroracle if I wasn't married I wouldn't walked away long ago.

    • *I would've

  • Of course I believe. But I believe it is not for everybody too. I think marriage can be like a heaven with the right person.

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  • I don't think it's necessary to get married, but I like the idea of having a tradition that bounds you together. It's very romantic and symbolic. I want a huge white wedding :)

    xx

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  • Statistically most marriages won't work out.
    But I think none of us really see ourselves as statistics.
    My parents have been happily married for 24 years, but they are one of the few marriages I know to last so long.

    I want to get married and I want it to work of course but realistically it probably won't.
    I don't think a certificate is necessary if you are in love but I'd prefer it 😕

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  • I don't think it's necessary to get married. My mom and step dad were together for 9 going on 10 years before they decided to tie the knot. And I think they only did it as a way of making it official, not just to themselves but to others, that they were 'it' for each other, they're not getting any younger anyway, aaand my mom has always wanted to get married. I remember her talking about it constantly when I was little. I'm confident that they couldn't have lasted even without getting married.

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  • The only reason people are starting to lose faith in marriages is because they think if you get married, your relationship has to change irrevocably, for some reason. News flash: nothing about your relationship has to change because of a wedding! Keep on doing you! I want to get married because I want to fun of a wedding and I want us to say our vows to each other in a ceremony, because I see that as beautiful.

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  • I believe marriage is just a piece of paper, I just believe life after marriage is stressful and people tend spend to much because it has to be a perfect day. I feel like it wouldn't bother me if I never got married as long as that person treated me well and how I deserve to be treated

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  • I really can not control someone on their life and what they want to do. If they want to get married, that is fine. If they don't want to get married, that is fine as well.
    Personally I wouldn't mind marrying my boyfriend and sharing his last name. :)

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  • I'm engaged at the moment, never thought this would be me hahah.
    I'm not against it, nor do I think its necessary. I could have happily been with him forever regardless. But this makes me happy too:)

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  • I don't believe marriage is or was ever necessary. The point of marriage is that it is a binding contract to protect two people who have decided to join forces. If someone chooses not to get married that doesn't mean they love each other any less, they may just not believe in the laws or religious aspect. I think people can be just as happy either way, it's what they decide upon.

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  • My parents have been married 25 years and still going strong. I want to be married because I think it shows that I love that person so much that I want spend my life with them and have enough faith that we'll be together forever I want to make it legal and have everyone know.

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  • Yep I strongly believe in it. And hope to get married one day.

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  • I do, and I do.

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