Why does the groom have to buy everything?

It's his marriage as well as hers, so why is the groom expected to pay for the dress, the reception, the honeymoon, the food, the drinks, the stag/hen dos and the rings?

Seems unfair really. I can imagine a lot of wives start to lose interest because he's lost most of dosh.

Do you think this is unfair, do you think it isn't? Let's here it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • All depends on the culture.

    But my family who are very much UK descent, certainly the groom would not pay for the bride's dress.

    A long time ago, the groom would have been expected to be able to support himself (and her). She was likely still living under her father's financial support. The groom would have paid for the wedding - that is he'd have paid for the church, paid the priest, etc. Once upon a time people would not have rented some outfit to wear - if they were of the class that wore tuxedos or morning suits, they would have owned those things already, if not, they would have put their best suit on, which would have been absolutely appropriate. He would have paid for her rings.

    The bride's family would of course have paid (or had made) her dress, or she might have made it herself if poor. She'd have shown up and married him.

    It was then traditional for the bride's family to throw a party or reception afterward, in honor of the couple. They would invite their friends and family, and being kindly, likely invite some of the groom's side, and the couple's friends. But the couple wouldn't have been whining about details - it was not 'their' party, it was a party -for- them, and there's a difference.

    At some point, I suspect not as far back in time, it became a custom for the groom's family to pay for the (smaller) rehearsal dinner.

    And then, at some point, couples started paying for more themselves, seizing control of the wedding, etc. I'd say caused by a mix of people (women) being less tied to their families, and also couples getting married later when they are more established. So now you have a mix of people paying for things.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Since when? Is it a tradition in your culture that the groom pays for everything? It's typically the bride's family who shells out the most cash in many cultures, especially in the west.

    My parents paid for most of my wedding, and it totalled just under $5,000 for everything because we have so many connections. My husband and I paid for whatever they didn't pay for - the dress, his suit, the rings, and the photography.

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  • Where are you from? My sister is getting married next year and my parents are paying for everything pertaining to HER and what SHE needs on that day. I think they might be going halfsies with the in-laws on the open bar, because both sides of the family are Polish so... a lot of drunks.

    Everything else her fiance is paying for, but that's only because he absolutely insisted on it himself.

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    • The Nederlands. My cousin is getting married in Rotterdam and he has to pay everything. He's asked his parents for some help, but it's very little.

  • What? Where I'm from, the girl's family has to pay everything. Or split it evenly.

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    • The girl definitely has o pay for her own dress or her family. Wtf. I've never heard of guys paying for the chick's dress.

    • The guy pays for the dress where I'm from, the bride only chooses it.

    • Weeeeiiiirdddddddd

  • What land are you from? Most places including here it's the brides family that foot the majority of the costs.

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  • I thought it was traditionally the bride's father who has to do most of that?

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  • Thats not how it is in my family. The bride and groom split the cost and family assists in what they can.

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  • It's a cultural thing. In my country both contribute to the wedding expenses.

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  • It's just a traditional sort of thing. Every culture has their own different traditions, especially when it comes to marriage. You don't have to go by tradition though so it doesn't matter if it's fair or not? Deciding on who will pay what should be between each bride and groom. Whatever they're comfortable with should be how they do it. And if they are uniting in marriage then why does it matter who pays what since they will share everything?

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What Guys Said 6

  • the tradition is that the woman's family pays for the wedding... but that is of course just the tradition. in your scenario it sounds to me like an age old male dominated/patriarchal situation.

    really paying for a wedding should be entirely dependent on the couple. who can afford what, if one or both families want to contribute.

    in my case my wife's father had set aside money in a fund early on for all his children (male and female) to pay for a portion (rather small portion) and the rest my wife and I split and paid.

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  • I think it's not always the groom to be who will pay for all the expenses... that why both of you should think, think and think before exchanging vows with each other... both of you should give each other consideration, respect, love and the value of giving and taking...

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  • Well, after you marry her, your money, is her money, and her money, is your money, so technically, the money spent is the money of both of you, maybe not right before you marry her, but once you marry her it will.

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  • Depends on the couple and culture.

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  • I thought that it was traditionally the bride's family that paid for the wedding.

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  • I thought it was usually the brides family, groom does the rehearsal dinner.

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    • Not where I'm from. The man (i. e groom) buys everything.

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