Why won't my boyfriend of 6 years marry me?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years now. We've lived together pretty much the entire time. We've always had a great relationship for the most part, every couple has their fights here and there, but overall things are good.

Though, 2 years ago he did break up with me. We separated for a month and then started seeing each other again, it seemed like we were together again, but he didn’t want to officially want to get back together yet. Then I got pregnant with his child. He still wouldn’t be with me, I was crushed. But eventually he came around, and the day after we signed the lease for our new house, I had a miscarriage. It was a rough time, but I believe it brought us together, and things have been wonderful ever since. He's a really great guy and I love him with all my heart.

I'm 25 now, he's 30 and I feel like we should get married soon. It's the next logical step for 2 people that love each other. So I finally gathered up enough courage to ask him if he ever planned on marrying me, and he couldn't really answer me. I was devastated. He said he didn't know and that it was never a priority to him, so he never really though about it before (which I don't see being possible, but then again I'm not a guy). He doesn't really like "talking about his feeling" & I knew I caught him off guard, but you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone or not after 6 years! To me it showed he really didn’t love me like he claims to. He told me he loved me and would always want me in his life no matter what, and that didn’t the fact that we’re still together,and the way he treats me show me how much he really cares for me? But I need that commitment from him. Especially because he left me once before…how do I know he won’t hurt me again? Plus, what girl doesn’t dream of her wedding and want to celebrate their happiness? So now I'm 2nd guessing our relationship. Do I stay with him, hoping one day he'll mature enough to marry me or do I give him the ultimatum of marrying me or breaking up? I feel like we’re already married, and don’t see what would change by actually doing it? I know I have a good, committed relationship, and that’s what marriage, so why do I feel I need it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Men are naturally afraid of commitment. And some like to think things are right "just the way they are". Or rather, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". The truth is, some men like to do just enough to get by. Even if that means their relationship. It seems your boyfriend fits this type of male. Sorry to say, but your gonna have to push him. An ultimatum will not work. You don't want a forced marriage do you?

    But the real shocker here is, do you really want to be in a relationship where you had to put in more effort than the other? It seems your the only one pushing for marriage and he's still stuck like a rock. I'm sorry, but since he's already 30, I doubt he's ever going to mature. Or even anytime soon. You can wait him out if you want, and hopefully he might see what he's missing. A chance to make you really happy and move into the next step of your relationship. And after six years, it's obvious you never pushed him. Six years you've invested, so you deserve to scrutinize whether you should stick around for another six years. Good luck.