My boyfriend wants to get less physical.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year now. We're both virgins, and have spoken about waiting for marriage (although it's far too early for me to even comprehend leaving sex till marriage). But for him it's a must, as he's a Christian.

We've pretty much been as physical as we can be without breaking that rule.

He keeps saying "You know, sometimes I think all we do is kiss all the time.." but then, a few days later, it happens all over again!

Yesterday, he put a stop to it.

Now we're only allowed to do anything beyond a kiss when we're away on some kind of holiday.

Btw, which is never. Realistically, we've been away once in our relationship.

Part of me understands and almost likes the idea, whereas a bigger part of me is wondering why he's being so damn inconsistent with me, and why it feels like he doesn't want me anymore.

Could someone please tell me if I should say or do anything about it, or could somebody at least guess what's going on in his head?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • As a Christian myself, I can see why he's acting like this. You see, Christians view abstinence as a priority. Any form of physical action tied in with lust to him is negatively viewed. He's doing this because that's how he's expressing his affection, not cause he doesn't want to be with you. It's just that he wants to save it all for marriage (plus guys are easily tempted by physical desires). So it'd be really meaningful to him if you help him with his views, instead of "forcing" him to go against them. Trust me, he may seem like he doesn't love you physically, but he is expressing his love in different way(s). Just look for them! Relationships aren't always about physical actions.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It's a battle between his mind and his hormones.

    Putting a stop to it is one way to stop the temptation.

    Please don't be frustrated, but understanding.

    He's a treasure, keep him.

    Ted

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What Girls Said 1

  • i don't think you should worry about anything and if you can't wait until marriage then you don't deserve him.

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