My husband wouldn't even touch me... And I am getting kinda sad about it?

I have been married since i was 19 and only person i have slept with is my husband. I am going to be 26 and i feel proud of myself plus i feel like i am missing out on something. My husband and i have sex maybe once a month. I don't think i am unattractive. I am thin person and of i go to club with my friends at least 5 to 6 or more guys hit on me and they are all pretty good looking and not creepy guys but i always turn them down and never even dance with them because my commitment for marriage is most important to me. But my husband never even kiss me or wanna have sex with me. I feel ok most times but i feel like i am just getting old like this lol. We used to be firey with each other and had sex like couple times a day lol but now we are like this. I feel sad. Maybe i should suggest my husband something else? What do you think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel like you should talk to him about these things. Perhaps he is depressed or something is stressing him out? Are you doing things to initiate it and he is just not responding to it?

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    • He is really stressed out because of college and part time. I do have hard working husband so i shouldn't complain right?

    • Going to college and working a job are a extremely stressful combination. Especially if a man is the sole income for a home. Instead of trying to initiate sex. Try helping him relieve some of that stress in other ways. Pick up some of his chores if possible. Leave notes of encouragement and love. See if he does not have the energy for sex. Perhaps a bath if you have a decent sized tub or shower together might help to relax him and put him in the mood. Perhaps you can massage him, or give him a BJ or something so even if he can't, he will at least know you are thinking about him and just want to help.

What Guys Said 17

  • i think you should voice your concerns to him. not in a combative or confrontational way but kindly and out of concern for your relationship...'honey, I've noticed recently that... This is really upsetting me and I'm wondering if it is something with me or something we need/can work on together'

    and don't mention guys flirting with you.

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    • You will make a good husband. And i will try that sometime!

    • thanks... I am a husband so hopefully my wife feels the same... good luck

    • Thank you too! And i hope she does too!

  • It doesn't matter how beautiful someone is, familiarity will always breed contempt.

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    • Thats probably one of the reasons.

  • Sorry you're in the club too :/

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  • Plan some time away, short weekend trips to the mountains or beach. let him know that you guys need to rekindle the spark and say you love him in the same sentance. A lot of couple do a date noght as well. Find out what turns him on, new fantasies etc. go to 50 Shades of Gray. Tease him. Jump his bones on Saturday morning before he gets up, just walk into the shower with him already in there on a relaxing day. Good luck.

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  • Hun, you either talk to him and explain exactly what you feel... or you let this drift away because that's what's happening. For some reason he's not coming after you and as you're not ok with this you need to speak up.

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  • Try initiating sex.

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    • I try to hug him and he says just leave him alone.

    • Did you cheat on him

    • No i don't. I never either and only person i. Had sex with is my husband.

  • may be this will take short time and you get back to each other, becose some times couples when they have sex too much, they loos there apetite fore short time.
    and may be you are doing it always same way in same place, try to make chainges, like change the place where you usually play withe each other or try new positions.
    and may be he always make the first move and get tired of that, so try to take the first move some times, and make him getting exited.

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  • Could a quite a few this in this equation. He could be stressed out. He could feel left out because you are going clubbing with your friends. Do you go clubbing with just him? Do you to still go on dates?

    I know for me lack of interest my wife shows towards me less I am interested in sex. That also goes for if I am stressed as well.

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    • I went to club once last year. :'( mainly for dancing with my friends and have a good time. I try to give him a hug and he always tell me to leave him alone. And i get upset because i feel like i am rejected.

  • Have a romantic dinner together. Maybe if you come out of the bed room completely naked. Or send him naughty text messages. It couldn't hurt. I can't wait to get married. Lol
    sorry no pun intended.

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  • i think , sorry but i think the love has gone. you could try to do something to get it back something kinky lol but when the sex go's its bad but you sound like the best wife a guy could ever have xx

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  • You sound like a great wife and he's very lucky to have you, but he should appreciate you more in that area. Talk to him about it.

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  • Have you tried initiating it yourself? That's always hot.

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  • Try marriage counseling?

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    • Honestly can't afford that now lol

  • u are not American right?

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  • I'm sorry you are going though that. It is usually married men who have that experience (and invariably women suggest it happens because he is not doing his part in and outside the bedroom). I wonder what they will suggest here?

    In any case, it is not normal and not acceptable. You should talk with him about it and find out where his head is. Maybe there is something you two can do to spark the fire. The sex life of married couples requires work and compromise on the part of both partners to keep it vital. Good luck - I hope you work it out and get the fire burning again.

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  • Did you try communucating with him? As in when you try to be close do you ask him why he's pushing you away?

    Maybe he feels the same as you?

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  • Any kids? Not getting pregnant over that period of time can cause strain, loss of attraction. Brains are programmed to make babies and the brain may be telling him you can't get pregnant, time to find a new partner. Probably not a conscious thought, but that may be the case. Search two year and seven year drop.

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    • We have 2 kids actually. One was made when we were firey lol and the other one was made in the one day we had sex in million days lol and ever since our kid is born, my husband stopped touching me pretty much.. But i love my kids till death tho

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    • Going to clubs might be an issue, a lot of women cheat in clubs. Maybe he thinks something happened?

    • I think he knows me too well to not think like that. I would never even consider and even i make up my mind to cheat on him, i would back out if it is really going to happen. Thats kind of person i am.. So.. And he knows it too.

What Girls Said 7

  • Tired shmired. People get into the habit of "being too tired". Sex begats sex and the more you ha d it the more normal it becomes in your routine.

    Try a break away, a little weekend getaway for the two of you. No work, no household chores, no drama, just the two of you alone for the weekend with nothing to do but enjoy each other.

    If that doesn't work, and talking to him doesn't work then try suggesting counselling... and if that doesn't work...

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    • I will try this sometime. :)

  • damn! just tell him frankly what you really want!!! you deserve to be happy too

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    • To be honest, i am too proud of myself/ too embarrassed to tell him that. And it's not like i haven't tried that yet. Lol but thanks. :) i should try again.

  • Sounds like the passion died out. Is he stressed or sick?

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    • He is really stressed out because he is in last year of college and working part time too.

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    • That sounds like the biggest cause right there.

    • I am. Thats why i don't even bother him anymore but it gets me sad tho. If he really wanted to, he would want to. I try to be nice to him but if he is mean to me or turn me down every time, i get upset bc of my pride is hurt..

  • I'm sorry about that, have you tried talking to him about this?

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    • Yes. I feel like begging him to love me like that. But i did ask him and he said he is just too tired.

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    • This have been like this last 4 yrs? How much time does he need? Maybe he doesn't even love me?

    • Have you tried getting help from a professional?

  • The honeymoon phase is over. This happened to one of my cousin, she got married to her high school sweetheart at 18. They divorced at 24 because he realized he wanted something different after going to college. He ended up cheating on her for 3 years before finding out.

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    • I really hope not!!! I hope he is just tired not cheating on me. That will just break me apart.

  • He has a lover.

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    • I doubt it because... I believe him? I don't think he is cheating on me.

    • Believe him, then. But the facts state otherwise.

  • Surprise him with lingerie/role play with him. You really need to ask him, though.

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    • I will try this sometime lol. But i feel like this will not be a permanent answer tho. It is lije begging for sex and throwing my body on him? I am too proud of myself?

    • Woah, im sorry to say but usually when a guy gets like this he's gonna cheat. I can't be right but this would really suck. No, I just dont get it.

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