Anyone else so totally frustrated about the lack of sex in your marriage?

Anyone else so totally frustrated about the lack of sex in your marriage?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I certainly have reached that stage of frustration, during marriage and other long term relationships since then.
    No-one likes being rejected most days of the week, and sometimes even 365 days of the year. I personally have never rejected a partner's sexual advances in any relationship (unless there was a medical reason, like a temporary back injury). Medical reasons might account for about 3 days in many decades.

    For many decades, I couldn't work out why most women become determined to avoid sex after a few years into a relationship. I knew it was happening, but it's obviously counter-productive and without logical reason.
    *It doesn't seem to matter if you're a better man than ever. Not just physically, but even more devoted in the relationship than she is.
    *It doesn't seem to matter if you're better in bed than the next 5000 men, and by all accounts I am. It doesn't matter how earth-shattering the sex is, if and when it ever happens.
    *This business actually seems to happen more often in secure relationships, where little else is wrong.

    After much research which agreed with my findings, I discovered this and it made sense. www.macleans.ca/culture/books/the-two-year-itch/
    Most women have a use-by date, and it's instinctive ( caused by body chemicals in her head). There's nothing you or she can do to change it.

    If the sexual relationship is over, just get her to admit it. 10 times a year or less is hardly a relationship, and you'd get more from strays. Then you only have a financial marriage contract. You are 2 estranged ex-lovers living under one roof.
    Thesedays, I'm always prepared for the 3 or 4 year use-by date. It doesn't matter how much she loved you in the beginning, or if you're a better man than ever. It becomes more complicated if you married during that time. Only about 20% of women are capable of loving the same man forever, but plenty will expect you to stay around while they exploit you (while showing you zero physical affection).

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    • Maybe they get old and don't feel pretty anymore so they don't want to be intimate? My girl friend is in her 50s and she still wants to have sex, or she told me. She is in good shape though, very good figure.

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    • Have you read the article you linked? Because it suggests that there is in fact quite a bit you can do to avoid it

    • I can't decide what she fantasizes about (not that I mind). And if you're asking me to PAY the price because she doesn't like monogamy...

What Girls Said 4

  • I would be frustrated with a lack of sex, yeah.

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    • True. It really hits you after awhile... for some time you take it to be a temporary drought.

  • I'm totally frustrated about the lack of sex in my life, period.

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    • Patience. Patience. At least you have no one to blame :-) I was a virgin till 27 (though masturbating for relief). It was a great time that helped me build myself in other ways and sublimate my sexual desires into something very creative.

      It's only when your married and regularly not getting sex, you kind of feel 'cheated', specially if you're putting so much into your part of the deal!

  • lol I saw your age and knew you were going to be older.

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    • You mean you knew I was going to be older BEFORE you saw my age?

    • ahahahahahahahaahahahah

    • by the way, this sexual drought can start in the 30s... usually it's one or the other partner that plays up. Nowadays women can get as affected as men, as they're willing to voice their frustrations over lack of sex too.

  • I am more frustrated that I don't even have a boyfriend and have never had sex. At least you are married and have sex at least once

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    • It's probably worse this way. If you don't have it, you don't want it. But imagine being deprived of what you thought was yours!

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    • In my experience, men tend to need a regular sexual outlet, and -- excepting the alpha males -- most are quite happy with a steady supply (even 2-3 times a week) of plain-vanila sex.

      The frustration is when you don't even get that, are routinely denied it, and insulted over and above :-)

      Agree that men also 'play the field'... but their sins get highlighted a lot (though it's the few alpha males and Tiger Woods who are having all the 'fun'). Nobody, or almost nobody, sees women as as responsible...

      It's hard to be a man these days.

    • Okay... I will make sure I never deny my future husband sex. Life is hard being a man, but even harder being female now a days... women are expected to be equally educated, be handy around the house, clean, cook, rear children, earn just as much money if not more and take home the bacon, cannot expect men to carry heavy stuff and open the door for them, AND be 25 years old and younger. Men just have to go to work and be successful, they don't need to be young and good looking, nor do they feel the need or obligation to provide for their women and children financially. Furthermore, most men think it is their right to have sex before marriage and have women pay money to date them too. When the said woman gets old they will just dump her and go have sex with another younger female out of wedlock. Being woman really really really suck okay?

What Guys Said 2

  • I have been at some times 'totally frustrated'.

    Now it's more like a disappointment I don't focus on that much.

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    • How do you convince yourself that it's worth staying on?

      Doesn't the resentment catch up sometimes?

  • That's how it is generally in marriages. Especially in the us. Women use sex as a loss leader until your hooked into a relationship and marriage. The sex doesn't get better in a marriage. It always plummets, so I don't know what you are going to do.

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    • Women don't do it intentionally. It's instinctive, and they have no control over what their body chemicals are doing. Most will genuinely love you in the beginning, and have all good intentions.
      The result is still the same

    • Again not all, but a good amount have and still do it. What do you mean they have no control? Guys are raging with hormones from our teens and up. We can't control ourselves? This can be the case too. Yea, but the point is that sex never gets better in a marriage so if your hoping for it to get better, well good luck

    • Agree with @Tractorbeam. Women don't seem to be in control of their own affections. Not that they're doing it deliberately... Their love at the start of a relationship is intense.

      Almost like a casino. You get out at the right time and you're a lucky winner. (You ditch a woman early, and she loves you for the rest of your life... sad but true!)

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