Men, why don't you want to get married? (Page 2)
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
114Opinion
I believe that marriage is an outdated concept. People used to get married to grow their families and their resources. There is no need for that now, and to raise girls to define themselves by their husband is sexist. Furthermore, marriage should be a religious institute, and I am agnostic. My reasons for not getting married have nothing to do with wanting to date multiple people, but I don't think that two people's love should be signified by the government either. That marriage license is just a tax and the government should have no say in how I love my special person. Finally, I just feel that women are raised to make every decision in their lives in a fashion constricted by the concept of marriage. Ladies, there is so much more for you to spend your time, effort, and money on.
Fuck marriage, why buy into it? If you really love each other 100% a piece of paper and legal commitment won't change that. Not in my eyes. I'm surprised that marriage is still such a social convention, I really am.
There should be far more egalitarian laws and rules that if you are consolidating wealth and assets that a fair way of dividing them should be made. If like to point out I think that includes recompense for a partner not working and raising children. One of you normally does it and it's not fair you be punished for not earning, a fair amount would have to be considered.
My ex didn't want to get married because he says it often ruins relationships and now I oddly agree. We were perfect together, then our relationship quite abruptly ended so you can never predict how your relationship will go so imagine if you were married? Being cheated on would be a lot more difficult and expensive to deal with if you're married - marriage doesn't ensure loyalty and commitment. My parents are married and pretty much hate each other, but my mum can't leave because she can't afford it. Natty on Total Divas was with her boyfriend for 10 years, they were perfectly happy and then a year after they got married, they were seeing marriage counsellors and were looking into divorce. Marriage seems to change people's mindsets and almost increases their expectations of the other person which leads to arguments and disappointment.
The whole thing is very risky tbh and now I see where he was coming from. It's a lovely sentiment of course but I think the cons outweigh the pros.
It's a bit complicated, and I can see why some people harbor a bit of animosity toward marriage, but it's something that I want. I can't really explain it, it may be just that I want to have that official title of husband. Now that being said, I don't want to be married right now, I still want to finish school, find a decent job and move into an apartment in town before I think about marriage. But yes I would love to at least be wholly exclusive with someone, I've always wanted to be in love with someone, and be loved by someone, someone to wake up to in the morning and come home to at night, simply to have that sort of intimate connection that a husband and wife can have with each other. So yes, I do want to get married, only problem is, I doubt I'll ever find a woman who wants to marry me, lol.
I want to know that my woman is hand-picked from above to be the true other half of whatever equation I'm supposed to be a part of, and that her and I are predestined to make a good team. From there, happiness and good sex and all that other stuff will take care of itself in the proper time.
So far, I've run instead only into women with lots and lots of problems. Some of which I'm there to help fix, some of which, I have to avoid. Figuring out which is which is a headache in and of itself sometimes, long before marriage is even up for discussion.
I'handpicked my wife myself. :)
I don't need nor want anyone else doing that.
@jacquesvol: Sometimes, you gotta trust there is One who is smarter than you are. Trying to follow my own schemes without higher consultation almost always leads to disaster, because there's always some variable that I cannot factor.
Trusting others or 'luck' of 'fate' to direct you is a way to disaster: you know what you need, you know what you want. Others know what they want and need and t may not be the same. It probably is not the same.
I've never wanted children. All of my friends and family know this, so they day there is no point in me getting married. But i still do want to get married, just because i like the idea of being joined with my spouse legally and in Gods place of worship. I am aware that a lot of marriages don't work out, and i am also aware that my life would be a living hell if it ended in divorce. But since i won't be having kids, the risk of going bankrupt isn't as high. So yes, i do want to get married, but i realize that i must be cautious of who i marry so i don't end up screwing myself over.
I wanted to get married. I did get married.
I was very aware about how many marriages end in divorce. However, the payback of growing a life together outweighed the chances of failure. So I did it.
May I ask if y'all are still together?
She passed away almost four years ago. We would be together, I'm sure, if she hadn't died.
I am so sorry for your loss!
Thank you.
Tou girls are risky. You change, lose interest take our money.
I've always been against it due to what every guy I've every known had said or what I've seen happen to married men.
Now that im in my 30s i would like to find a girl to marry. But i know it isn't my current girlfriend or the other two girls im seeing.
Some men don't want to follow the traditional gender roles of men being the provider/protector. There's also this hatred for women's equality in the workforce. Some how some men feel that applies in the dating world as well. So, it leaves the dating world in a limbo, no one knows what to do anymore.
I don't want to have to wear the pants in my relationship, just because I'm successful. People aren't getting married because they cannot even get a date right lol!
See posts:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1363105-the-feminization-of-men
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1370453-guys-what-makes-you-feel-like-a-man
Maybe some men, but most men that I speak to about this just simply think marriage is dumb. I do think though there is a bit of gender power at play in that, women can have easy fun with sex and relationships, but guys can't. Women can take a year off and get banged every night of the year if they chose, with random people. Guys don't have that luxury. We have to explore and experiment over time, and how we going to do that when we have to settle for one woman?
At 32, you are too old to be this clueless, "women can have easy fun with sex and relationships, but guys can't. Women can take a year off and get banged every night of the year if they chose, with random people. Guys don't have that luxury. We have to explore and experiment over time, and how we going to do that when we have to settle for one woman?"
Please tell me you do not actually believe any of this lol!
Lol... clueless for what? I'm serious. That's a reason why many men mess around in marraige. they can't get the sex life they want and when they settle, they discover these things in marraige. Women on the other hand can explore it and discover it in a much shorter period and then settle nicely that they have lived.
I hate dating. I am finally back to a place (after an unwanted divorce 14 months ago) where I want someone in my life. I have found that woman. I knew after the 2nd date. SO if she doesn't break up with me, I will marry her one day. just like I knew with my first wife after only 2 weeks, and that marriage lasted 25 years. and she wanted the divorce. if it were up to me, we would still be married.
I want that one day, and I want to make it work.
Given that half of marriages fail these days, though, it's an understandably intimidating prospect. No guy is looking to get attached to someone just to lose her, his children, his assets and a good chunk of his income all in one fell swoop.
I have met a guy who told me that his wife screams like devil in hell and purgatory and dungeon where ever that all that horrifying demons and bats and weird trees coming out of dead well abyss bottomless pit that he wants to kill himself every time she yell at him every night when he comes back home.
besides, child cost tons of money without government insurance and all. all the hospitals are business dealing with human life so fucking evil. when they divorce, they get nothing. they want to fool around but then they can't. the burdens... besides, world is going to collapse because of too many population, ocean is dying with garbage, especially dippers, radiation is high, war is threatening, they have to run when america collapse, their health is not good, wife asking for more sex sex sex dinner dinner dinner and fun fun fun fun. who wants that shit.
I would like to marry one say, yeah. Obviously it depends on the right woman and the right timing but I'm hopeful.
As for the dudes that don't want to do it: work, responsibility, monogamy, effort, some women (and men!) are freakin' crazy, etc.
family law is anti-man. man gets kids, money taken away
modern women disrespect men. entitlement mentality
marriage equals no more sex. happens so often
i feel divorced already cos my parents went through messy divorce when i was a kid
basically... huge costs and dangers, no benefit for men
I don't want to get married because the cons outweigh the pros.
1) Divorce courts are biased against men - Several other posters have already pointed this out and talked about it in great detail.
2) Marriage is a legal contract, with a lot of terms and conditions that many men don't agree with
3) The marriage contract itself doesn't have any direct benefits for the man
4) Men are not as religious and traditional as they were decades ago
5) Women are more biologically hardwired to be monogamous than men. Hence marriage is more compatible with a woman's innate nature than a man's.
6) Loss of freedom and too much responsibility
After seeing the divorce between my parents, I can say with 100% certainty that I won't get married unless the girl is absolutely cream of the crop top 1%.
Never heard a man say anything positive about being married, in fact I frequently get advice from married men to never get married and they're usually not joking, same with having kids.
Men tend to get the royal screw job in marriage, usually they bring in the most money but get to spend the least of it, wives guilt trip their husbands into things and if they get divorced holy hell they lose everything and more.
The more I learn about marriage, the less and less appealing it appears to be.
👍👍👍
I am one of the lucky guys who married a good woman who sees the world differently than most women today. Having said that, I would not recommend marriage to most younger men now. Women are not the same as they used to be and men are well advised to steer clear of the marriage trap. It's not usually in their best interest.
I hope that changes sometime in the future but I don't foresee it happening any time soon.
Can you explain "woman are not the same as they use to be"? I agree I don't think they are either, I'm just curious to what's different nowadays with woman.
I have a feeling what he's getting at is being supportive in the household: making sure the kids are good, actually showing interest and concern into the man's well-being, etc. Essentially, the typical household wife who stands by his man. There's absolutely no shame in that.
Nowadays women can pursue anything they want to be: they can be a career woman or be full-time mom. However today, the stay-at-home-mom role is shunned and looked down upon as being subservient which isn't true. There's the expectation from other women that women should, and can, be everything (which there's nothing wrong with that at all, I actually like strong independent women) but the side effect of that is that a lot of women end up getting more demanding towards men and unconsciously may end up with a sense of entitlement. That sense of entitlement destroys marriages.
For me I would love to be able to work and do everything around the house, take care of my man, etc. I know a lot of men say that a woman shouldn't work, which is there opinion, but for me just knowing that I can help out financially makes me happy. I don't want my husband to think that he has to be the only one to work to support our family.
I am feeling more and more like I do not want to get married. The reason for this is because I am a nice and kind person and most girls use that, abuse it and treat me like I am the scum of the earth. Why would I want to get married when this is how I get treated. I see marriage as a trap. Sorry not trying to be offensive.
Depends on if I meet the right lady. Not a lot of ladies theses days just a whole lot of hos.
Just speaking for myself but I absolutely want to get married and have a family. Wanting it comes with age and maturity. As a child of divorce I also just want to make sure it's definitely right so my kids never have to go through that.