My boyfriend, who I have a 17 month old son with, proposed to me 11/4/2013. I accepted, but we had so many hardships, issues that tore us apart and we ended up separating for almost a month. My ring was taken and he moved out. We've since been back together trying to restore our intimacy and come closer as a couple and raise our son in a healthy environment.
We've gotten into many arguments over marriage. He feels because he proposed once, there's no need to do it again and that I should just take the ring he bought, put it on and be happy otherwise I'm being ungrateful and superficial. I don't feel the ring holds sentimental value anymore, as I was once told by him the ring was tainted the moment it touched my finger and it had been taken away from me many times before we split. I bought him an engagement ring as well, but we vowed to not taint our rings and that's all we did.
I will buy a new ring to symbolize a fresh start, whereas he doesn't feel he should so much as do a trade-in. I feel I'm deserving of that fairy-tale proposal. I feel just accepting the ring is another sign he doesn't respect or value me. Mind you, he told me when he would propose, showed me the receipt for the ring, and gave me the wedding band instead of the engagement ring and to add insult to injury he keeps the ring box on top of our refrigerator so I can see it whenever I want as if it's a piece of forgotten mail. He then told me if he buys me a new ring, it won't have a diamond in it. He's posted online we're engaged again, so his family and friends are congratulating us, telling us to keep them posted on wedding details and he hasn't even asked me to marry him again and I feel he thinks he can get away with the bare minimum and I should be okay with that, but he wouldn't be or settle for less than he feels he deserves. Our first engagement was broken, so doesn't that mean a new proposal would be needed in order to become engaged again? Or am I just asking too much?
Most Helpful Guy
In my opinion, a new proposal is required since the original proposal was called off. Imagine I went to my ex boss and said I'm still working there now because he said yes to me before so now I'm just walking back in. (after I left that company) A new fresh proposal, rings and everything that comes with it is required in my opinion.
The box on the fridge? Next time he's not around, get some ketchup to splat on it, get it dirty but not so much that it doesn't look like natural causes. It shouldn't be in the kitchen so if it gets all nasty and dirty its not your fault. Maybe you should chuck the box behind the fridge and just claim to not know anything about it. It could have just fallen back there, not your fault.
It sounds like the two of you have a lot to sort out hey. If he brings more stress and sadness to your life than happiness and joy then you should try and move on.
Communicate a lot, talk to each other about everything. If it always lands up being a fight, it's not worth it.
Best of luck1