Why is marriage important to you? Or not...

I am firmly anti-marriage so I just don't get why people prescribe to these idealistic views. Do you think your views on marriage is influence on your background and childhood? I would definitely agree that it does. For example if you're in a conservative house, marriage will be a great option but if you're more liberal or free-spirited then perhaps not.

Let me know what you think...=)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends on the person. Me and my sisters grew up in a very consecutive household and me and my oldest sister are married, but my older sister has a baby and is only living with her boyfriend with no talk of marriage.

    I love being married :) I love to say "my husband". I don't think it's any different than wanting to have kids. It's just something that you want to do :) I don't condemn those that are against marriage or don't want to get married (obviously since me and my sister have a great relationship and she will be the godmother of our baby). Plus, for us, we have to be married in order for me to get any benefits from my husband since that's how the military works. But we were together before he enlisted.

    I think some people (not saying you) don't like marriage because it's harder to walk away from the relationship. You have to go through a divorce. So it scares some people to be "stuck" with someone and make a lifelong commitment.

    FYI, it's not an idealistic view, at least not for me and my husband. We have definitely had our ups and downs after being together for four years and have struggled with things that most people don't struggle with so early in marriage (only been married for two years). But we KNOW we want to spend the rest of our lives together, and will fight through whatever comes our way and NEVER take the easy way out.

    Like I said, I love being married to my husband. It's most definitely not a walk in the park, but we didn't expect it to be. We knew that we would have hard times, and have to fight through many difficult things. And there will be more things to come. But we know we can make it through, therefore we decided to make that life long commitment to each other in front of our closest friends and family.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm having difficulty answering what should be a relatively simple question.

    I don't think a marriage is important but at the same time I expect to have one. If someone told me they never wanted to get married it wouldn’t faze me. I don’t care whether I have one or not, but I would still like one. Conflicting feelings about it.

    MY opinion, not yours.

    Cheers.

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  • I think marriage between a man and a woman is at its core the best place to raise children, thus serves a purpose. Can kids be raised by parents who aren't married? Yes but when they're growing up and some kid asks them why their parents aren't married, what is he going to say? That his dad didn't feel like making a commitment legally?

    The family is the foundation of our society, to deny which is ludacris, and as the modern "liberal" movement has caused the disintegration of the family our society has suffered as a result.

    Btw no offense but I would hardly consider a "liberal" someone who is free spirited since they're typically the most intolerant people out there.

    Don't believe me try taking a stance against gay marriage or abortion and see if you don't get assaulted.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I shared this long quote in another post. Perhaps, again, it's too idealistic for your taste, but I also think part of marriage IS transcendent, beyond a piece of paper.

    "I’m asked with increasing frequency, “But why marry?”, a question to be taken seriously. The desire to make sure that there is integrity in love, that neither partner wants to use or manipulate the other, is a healthy one. But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other much ask themselves how much they love for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take.

    If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.

    When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together, we become a new creature.

    [Someone once said]…that marriage is a question not of creating a quick community of spirit by tearing down and destroying all boundaries, but rather a good marriage is that in which each appoints the other the guardian of his solidtude. My love for my husband and his for me is in that unknown, underwater area of ourselves where our separations become something new and strange, merge and penetrate like drops of water in the sea. But we do not lose our solitudes, or our particularity, and we become more than we could alone."

    -Madeliene L’Engle, The Irrational Season

    Hope this helps or otherwise is intriguing to you. :)

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  • I am pretty liberal and my views used to be the same as yours. But I have changed my mind.

    Marriage historically was not about love. It was a business arrangement. People married for reasons like gaining power or land or money from a partner's family. Also, people needed to marry to get a partner and children to help out in the house/ farm/ business...

    I think that people who are planning on being together in a long-term relationship (particularly if there are kids) should still get married for financial security. This is especially important for women. Women in relationships generally focus less on work because of the things they do at home (chores and kids) and for the health of a relationship. When a relationship ends, women who have been out of the jobmarket/doing part-time work taking care of kids can be left badly off financially. Marriage offers legal protection that women who are not married don't have.

    Marriage doesn't only offer legal protection in case of divorce. It also makes it easier to do things like visit a sick partner in hospital and (in some cases) get a loan and buy a house, etc.

    Several of my friends have insisted on getting married before giving up their jobs and moving to join their partners in a new city. They want the security of marriage before making such a big move. Now they will be financially protected in care of a break-up. Also, getting married gave them the peace of mind of knowing that their partners are really serious about wanting to be with them.

    My opinion is that sure, marriage is not necessary. People do not need a piece of paper as evidence of their feelings for their partner. But at the same time, marriage is a statement that people have made a commitment to each other. It also shows that people care about each other enough to make sure that their partner is legally protected in case of death or divorce.

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  • I have a completely different view on marriage, very unconventional. I don't see marriage as settling down, the next step followed by kids. For me it is a statement to the world that two people make that they belong together, they have chosen each other and will stay together and commited. Kids may or not follow. But I am not a traditional person and I have not met anybody else with the same view on the subject.

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  • Personally, I've been around many people who trully love one another and they still love each other when theyre married. I remember how my grandparents would call those cheesy love words to each other. And from where I grew up, marriage is a way of making a family and saying, 'I love you and I want you to be my only partner until the day we die'. So I see it as an act of love rather than a cage how many people online view marriage as

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  • Marriage is stupid and do are kids

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