He doesn't want marriage but I do. what should I do?

Ok So . Making this straight to the point.
Me and my boyfriend been together for five years almost. we jus had a child who is 5 months now and now im thinking we should get married. he loves me. I love him. He says he dont wna get married right now because were to young. But yet we just had a child and we are gna raise that child together and I dont feel comfortable dealing with his problems and Im not married to him..so I broke up with him.
Who right and whos wrong?
Am I the bad guy here? Or is he just a jerk? Help plz!

  • leave him!
    67% (2)17% (1)33% (3)Vote
  • stay together!!
    33% (1)83% (5)67% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Marriage is a very complicated thing to discuss. Both of you are entitled to want something, marriage included. Also, neither of you are wrong when it comes to this. He stayed with you, which shows he is loyal and willing to stick by your side. However, he is not required to marry you. You wanted to sanctify your relationship through marriage, which is also completely valid.

    You two need to discuss this further. Don't let something like this come between you. Not wanting to be married immediately because of age is a very valid concern, and his worries and views must be taken into account. Simply fathering a child does not warrant the immediate toll of wedding bells. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that is not to be taken lightly.

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What Guys Said 4

  • There's no true right or wrong here between either of you. THAT SAID, both of you need to communicate and have a SOLID discussion about it. It's a very sensitive subject to both genders for various reasons. No need to rush to a breakup because he doesn't have marriage on his mind at the moment.

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    • Im not rushing into breakup I just dont wna waste another year and were just not going any where and I can just be with someone who really wants to move to the next level. . but thanks

  • Stay with him for the sake of the child. And, he is too young to get married but he is old enough to have a baby. Age is just an excuse to avoid real commitment.

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    • I know thats what has me thinking is he just making up excuses because I know plenty of people who r married at 22 and is fine, were gna have problems of course but thats any marriage, I just dont think its fair to just be boyfriend n girlfriend at this stage in our lifr its just not appropriate.

  • Aside from tax breaks and other financial gain exactly how would marriage change your relationship?

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    • It kinda give me a different perspective if we were married. I would take it more serious and have more courage of dealing with problems. Being in a relationship and having issues is pretty hard for me because im not committed to him through marriage and im not obligated to deal with it, but if we were married , he would be my man. Legally and Mentally soon as I look at my ring... but a relationship is just basic for me, after 5 years a relationship is pretty much dead its either move on or up. What do u think?

  • If he says that you're too young, doesn't that imply that he WILL marry you once you get older?

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What Girls Said 3

  • In my personal opinion, he's in the wrong. If a man loves his woman, and she gave him a child, the only honorable thing to do is to give her a ring and his last name, especially if you or both of you are raised religious (catholic especially).

    From a rational point of view though, I don't know your personal situation and I would say that a compromise could be possible. Perhaps a small ceremony where you commit to eachother without an actual marriage vow? I hear more people do that nowadays. If he doesn't want that either- he's just a jerk. I hope you two can still work something out though, whether that be deciding to stay together or to stay friends for the sake of your precious child.

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    • That is what im trying to get him to understand, I gave him a child and im dealing with his problems I should be married to him! I dont think im considerd just a girlfriend after all I been through.

      We talked about it and he pretty much said we are too young and he doesn't want a divorce two weeks after... im pretty much the type when he does something stupid I immediately say its over because I jus get so sick n tired he thinks I will divorce him... but if I was married to him that woukd b so different because im obligated to work it out with him and I would b much stronger! I don't know.. I don't know if im sounding crazy or im being truthful. But I rlly love him and wna spend forever.. and when he say no we are too young it jus breaks my heart because I kno he's talking about himself

  • I see where you are both coming from. Talk about it. It's better than just leaving. Even if he doesn't want it right now, he may in the future. It'll be a good thing to discuss and see where it leads.

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  • No you are not the bad guy you have a kid and it's you have a right to ask that of him

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