When woman loses her sex drive in a marriage and almost always turns her husband down, does she even care that her husband is really hurt by it or does she think he is ok with it
- YesVote A
- NoVote B
Most Helpful Girl
I've always had a very high sex drive, but then there were some changes in my life that led to a lot of stress, anxiety, weight gain, and depression. My sex drive plummeted.
I started to reject my husband's advances more and more often. Then he started to get angry with me. If I rejected him, he would get upset and give me the silent treatment. It made sex feel like a no-win situation. Either I had sex with him when I didn't want to, or I was punished with the silent treatment for the rest of the night.
I started to get very anxious about sex. I started to withdraw even further so that I could avoid that situation. I cuddled with him less, I was afraid to kiss him too passionately. I didn't want to turn him on because it meant I'd either have to have sex, or I'd make him angry.
We talked about it, and he explained how hurt and undesired he felt. It broke my heart. I never want to hurt him. But I didn't know what to do. I WANTED to want sex, but I couldn't make myself desire it. And having sex when I didn't want to felt very violating to me because I felt like I had no choice (either do it, or he would be hurt and upset).
We were eventually able to work through it, but it took a lot of empathy, patience, and understanding on both of our sides.
I understand that it hurts when your partner rejects you, but more often than not, the person with the lower sex drive is characterized as awful, selfish, uncaring, etc. But very few people with a high sex drive realize how difficult it is on the person with the low sex drive too.1
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