My husband spent $600.00 on an I watch for his birthday and I got something worth maybe $100.00 for mine. Should I say anything or be pissed off?

I remember last year him saying that he wanted to get me a designer handbag but he never did. I don't work so my husband brings in all the money (I'm a stay at home mom which is a full time job in itself) and his birthday is here and he got himself an apple iwatch and I saved up $70.00 for him to go shopping as well... that's like $700.00 and all I got was a winter jacket last year (which I needed because I didn't have one) should I say anything? Should I be mad? $700.00 is a little excessive and I'm kinda really pissed off. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your married.
    there is no "his money" "my money" everything is "our money"
    I have 3 boys. I knew that me going to work was WAY freaking easier then staying at home with the kids. Men or Women... whomever stays home to raise them has a huge and much more important job.
    If you are this upset with anything, not just money, you need to talk it through. otherwise it just will create resentment. Women are HORRID at letting this shit go. I am unfortunately divorced. My ex wanted it, I did not. during the divorce she brought up shit going back to our wedding which is so obsurd. she would never talk about anything. since we never had any big issue, just a lot of little issues that built up, had she been willing to talk through them we might still be married.
    tell him what is upsetting you. Tell him you plan on going shopping. You would rather he understand but you are going to do it anyway (assuming you can afford it).
    If he is a decent husband he is going to understand and expect you to buy something a lot more expensive then what he got. I would make sure she did.

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    • Thank heavens someone feels this way. I am shocked by what some of these guys are saying. "You should be grateful he puts a roof over your head" are you kidding me?

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    • Great comment man.

    • Charge him $100 per Bj.

What Guys Said 26

  • Money is the bane of all relationships. You may be criticized for being a gold digger. However, I think your husband simply doesn't know what to get you.

    Let's test your relationship skills here...
    1. Your husband said he wanted to get you a designer handbag...

    So... what was your response? Did you just wait to see what he got you? If you just waited, YOU FAIL. Men don't know shit about handbags. He hinted at giving you a handbag, because he wanted you to tell him what style and brand you want. There's a 0.01% chance he would select the one you like. You were suppose to walk in the mall with him, and subtly say, "oh, that's such a nice bag, I really like it". And walk away, allowing him to buy it for you.

    If you didn't do that, you have nobody to blame except yourself. He probably waited and waited and got no information from you, and ended up buying something more practical... such as a jacket... which is how men think... practically.

    That being said, I would suggest you not measure his love by the monetary value of his gift. My wife and I spend about $30 on each other for Christmas and birthdays, yet we make over $200,000/year. We handcraft our Christmas and birthday gifts to each other, which we find more meaningful than any store bought item.

    Would you value a $700 handbag from your husband more than a present that he spent 2 weeks to make himself? Do you think he'd value a gift you made yourself instead of spending the money off his credit card to buy him something?

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  • Well being that he earns the money he is gonna want to spend it on himself since you're at home with the kids. His money is already going to putting a roof over your head and feeding the kids so he's gonna feel that he's already giving you a lot. I'd really only consider this a problem if he was buying a watch and the bills weren't being paid. I personally find it to be silly to spend 700 on a watch regardless of the circumstances.

    You can say something if you want. But I'd be grateful you can even be at home with the kids at all in this day and age. Most families require both parents working just to make ends meet. So you have to be in a really good position right now. This is also why a lot of women choose not to stay at home with kids since they want to make their own money and get what they want. You're dependent on him. Many don't like that feeling.

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    • She should be a partner not a dependant

    • Most woman don't work because the cost of child care would have them making penny's. And it is joint decision she is going to stay home.

  • I see why you're upset, I really don't know what to tell you. its his money, that's a fact, but in a relationship its also a damn good thing to be fair. hmm.. don't be mad, just try and shrug this one off. wait for the next one.

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    • It's not "his" money if they've agreed that she stayshome and takes care of things there. Maybe she sshould bill him for his services received.

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    • Me Hippy won't work then eh.

    • Yes I have a 5 year old and a 9 month old and for over 3 months I stayed home since my wife bitched about how unfair it was that I got to got to get out and away from this kids and work so i quit my job making $25 an hour so she could go work for $12 and hour and I stayed home... I cooked, cleaned, played with the kids, everything and still found hours of time to chill... it was great... I had so much spare time I built an online webstore and started my own business selling refurbished laptops and cell pones which made up for the slack in our pay checks... she would come home tired and stressed out bitching about how rude people where and how hard it was to get up every morning and go to work... she begged me to go back so I went and got my job back and she is now a very happy stay at home mother who has now found a way to stop using the children as excuses why she didn't have enough time to herself.. she is bale ot kick back and not worry so much and she helps ship off my packages..

  • I wouldn't compare one birthday gift to another. Generally I probably spend more on my wife. But last year my kids theoretically spent 600 on dress shoes for me for Christmas. of course i needed them for work and would have got them anyway.

    My vague point is i wouldn't compare one birthday gift to another. You both got something major you needed. If he's constantly spending more on himself than you, that's more of an issue. I don't have a 'better lifestyle' than my wife does.

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  • Looking at the comments, some guys are not going to like my comment.

    I want to be in a relationship where my wife is a stay at home mother, such as yourself. And I feel as though, when a couple is in a relationship with that dynamic, the person who stays home should get what they desire, so for you a handbag, once the person who works gets a good job and is practical in the means of it being financially obtainable of course. And the person who is working should only get what is necessary, until they are financially stable, then the person who works can get what they want.

    So him buying a $600 watch is not okay in my books, when chances are you two aren't financially stable at this point. Furthermore, I think you should confront him about this and make it clear that it's not fair that he buys himself a $600 watch when you haven't got what you desired. Especially since you keep the home clean and feed him, and possibly are going to be having, then taking care of his child (ren) in the future. So it's not fair, and I can't believe some of these guys, and some girls, are defending this guy's action.

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  • Honestly im kinda torn. I think the guy should have the freedom to spend some of the money he works hard for to reward himself. But if you two aren't doing all that great financially, then i think it was an irresponsible move to spend so much cash on a watch. But either way, don't get too hung up on the value of the gifts you get. Its really the thought that counts

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  • Seems like you need to have a discussion of how finances are appropriated/distributed/valued/shared/bananas in your marriage according to mutual intimate compromise. Every relationship is different.

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  • Are you guys tight financially? You could always buy your own expensive gift.

    Finances is in the top 3 reasons for divorce. You 2 need to communicate about these things. No passive agressive stuff.

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  • Yea if i had a wife i wouldn't be spending more money on myself than her
    that's the way i see things you should bring it up to him and tell him how
    bad he makes you feel.

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  • How dare he spend his own money on something he enjoys. Seriously.

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  • well with all due respect, it is his money, he can choose to spend it as he wishes. I'm not a girl but i assume being a stay at home mom would be hard. I would say, wait for Christmas or something, or a special day for you two. $700 is a lot but again I don't know how much he makes a year so i cannot judge

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  • He brings in the money and you are dependent on him. I hope he gets a $6,000 watch because at the end of the day it's his money.

    If you want a designer bag then get a job or get sponsored by LV.

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  • He preordered the apple watch today. What color was the band? At least he didn't spend $17k for the edition version lol

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  • No cause its his money if you are mad get a job and be independent.

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    • Get a job and be independent? Do people have no idea how much child care is? Her entire pay would be gone just for that. And Then they'd be right back where they started.

  • Well that's a little cheap of him... but in all fairness did you simply use his working money for his gift?

    That would make a difference since its the total spending from his account he is looking at

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  • We see your all about materialistic things.
    Most would think your selfish :-( boo hoo

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    • I agree with you to a point. Who's more materialistic; The husband for spending $700 on himself or her for not getting more stuff?

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    • She's materialistic. Isn't happy because she didn't get more spent on her? She's freaking out over the cost of something compaired to cost of what she got? Hate to be there Christmas morning when she opens gifts and had her calculator out.
      Hubby likely is the bread earner , he carries all the worries of the bills , the tranny going in the family car needing fixed at a cost of $3000 etc on his shoulders. Car breaks down he likely does what it takes to get it fixed even tho the money isn't there meanwhile there she is boo hoo ing over a Damm I watch and her lousy $100 worth of what ever.
      Let her spend the money on spoiling herself and let her carry all the worries of how to get the bills paid when there isn't enough money and see how long she cries over value he got over things she wants etc .
      I can allmost bet this girl is a blond. A bimbo maybe. Not that all blonds are.
      She has likely never ever been on her own either. Went from mom taking care of her to living with the boyfriend

    • Who's allways had to do her thinking for her and make the household decidions? Hubby. B4 that was mommy.
      Welcome to the real world.
      Bet she couldn't do it on her own. She would spend the rent on some expencive item just so she can feel better. Then let someone else help bail her out on rent that month. Mommy comes to the rescue again. Lmao.
      Grow up is all I got to say. Any agree?

  • His money, his rules.

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    • Lmao. Kinda but not really. Point is , she's already a spoiled brat. I would trade the stress of all the bills that need to be paid anyday. Then let her handle them all and spend money she can't afford of total worthless expencive shit such as that ieatch

  • That is a lot of money, but he didn't do anything inherently wrong. I can see why you would be upset. What are you really upset about here though? That he spent more on himself, or that he spent $600?

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  • $600? He better have some net worth to his name dropping that kind of money on a watch

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  • try to save money for your kids

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    • Fuck the kids. Spend the money on crack whores and rub n tugs. Sounds like he won't be getting any at home thesedays

  • No, but he should you give you the I watch.

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    • Yea he should give it to her , all the way up to the wrist ! In the pooper

  • I will pretend this is not a trolling question.

    Don't be greedy, don't compare, he works stfu

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  • $600 on a watch is excessive
    Quit buying stupid gift and use the money for a tropical vacation

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    • Yea , he takes the gf on tropical trip. Leaves this wide at home. Sounds like she's a total bitch

  • You should be pissed off but more at the fact that your husband is a douche bag.

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  • so you are pissed off at a man who earned his money and spent HIS money on HIMSELF when you get to stay home and not have to worry about the stress of providing food and bill money and get pampered with gifts also... wow... didn't know love was based on how much someone spends on their partner or if they get them designer name brands and crap... Great wife... funny you guys say being a mother is a full time job... thats complete bullshit... having a kid and raising it isn't a job, its a duty. I know plenty of parents who both work.. using your kids as an excuse of why you can;t work is bullshit

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    • Are you kidding? When you get married, half of the income is yours anyways. People like YOU is the reason why this world is going to shit!

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    • and if you think half of his earning is yours, than you need to cover half the bills and cost of food, gas, and other things that get spent... but make sure you make twice as much than what the bills cost, because half of that is his too... smh

    • Preach it!

  • Blah blah blah, quit making excuses, there's plenty of other moms out there working, it's 2015.

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What Girls Said 16

  • As you said. It's his money that he earnt, he can do what he wants with it.

    He was being insensitive (oh my gosh, a man has never done that!) but he probably hasn't even realised he's done it.

    If you ask most men when it comes to present shopping and how they do it they'll say "i'll get her something she'll use". Aka, something she needs.

    Now at the start of a relationship it's about pretty things to make you smile but as it goes on, you run the risk of getting socks. It sounds like he put thought into your presents and wanted you to to use them and enjoy them. I think with the watch he's treated himself and hasn't even realised that it might get under your skin.

    I wouldn't tell him it's pissed you off. It will come off as passive aggressive. Maybe when it comes to your birthday or something just say to him I'd really like x. Or if you can't wait that long, ask him something like a weekend away. That way he can spend money on you but enjoy it himself too.

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  • You both need to get your priorities straight. You're biggest worries are a watch and a handbag. That kind of money could've gone to a mini vacation of making memories.

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  • First off no offense but your husband is an idiot for buying the apple watch. www.techeye.net/.../ten-reasons-why-apple-is-not-good-for-you

    I wouldn't get mad at him since in away he does have the right to spend the money he makes how ever he wants. Just talk to your husband and the fact that the price of the watch kind of bugs you. He might use the argument "it's his money and he can do the fuck he wants with it." In that case maybe say "Well if your going to be like that then I'm just going to get my own kind of job and spend it just on myself."Then try to figure out what to do with the kids. If you did that then you wouldn't have to rely on him for money. If your going to be left out in the dust not getting to have anything as well. Again maybe getting a job yourself will give you more freedom for that if he's only going to spoil himself.

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    • None of your 10 reasons even mention how horrible the ui is. It's as if they didn't even bother to think what would look good on a watch and instead said let's just toss this thing together randomly because people will still buy it cause Apple. Maybe they transitioned everyone to project Titan already cause that ui is beyond poorly done.

    • I would have to ask my bf on a more technical stand point about the watch,. XD I was trying to find a better website to give more logical facts about them. Sadly my google-fu is crap. ;(

  • I see where you're coming from. But he might argue that he spends the time to earn all that money so if he spoils himself so what.

    Do you have any kids? If so then you need to sit down and have a chat with him. Since it is a little excessive and its a smart watch << but not as good as a phone etc. He could have put that in saving for you're children (if you have any)

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  • Don't complain. Its his money. He is allowed to be spoilt. ;)

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  • You have a family... Honestly, why do you worry about materialistic things. Being able to spent your birthday with your family is a blessing and priceless. Don't worry about such silly things.

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  • Yeah, I'd be pissed and I'd say something about it. Or I'd just go spend 600 and say "oh, I never used the rest of my birthday money".

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  • you should say "Thank you" and don't need to be pissed off.
    Appreciate simple things in life and be grateful regardless the price..
    its the thought that counts..

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  • The cost doesn't matter. Its the thought that counts. (Cliche)

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  • Is this a one-off thing, as in did he perhaps just really want an Apple Watch and it happened to be his birthday, or does he generally spend a lot on himself and not so much on you? I can understand you being frustrated, especially since you take care of the kids and household and as such have a job, but not an income. I also understand you being really pissed off, but I urge you not to jump in his face :D

    Perhaps he isn't even aware how unfair this all is? I know that to you and me it's obvious, but some people are a bit slow. I suggest you try to have a calm conversation with him once you've calmed down a little. Perhaps it's also time to rethink how the money gets distributed between you two, how much you can have to spend on yourself each month, etc.

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  • It shouldn't be about the money. You sound very greedy.

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  • If he makes enough money that 700.00 isn't really much a dent in the income and he doesn't do things like this all the time, I don't think you should make too bi a deal over it.

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  • I understand that you feel that way. But it's his money... Can't really go and tell him to not spend money on himself I guess. But talking about it is definitely an option, tell him how you feel. You mentioned that you got a winter jacket from him? Is that the only "gift" you got from him in one year? I'd say that's a little strange, but maybe I'm just weird. I just think a little gift here and there wouldn't hurt, and it doesn't even need to be something expensive. Some nice flowers, or some chocolates? Or even a "I love you" note. I don't know you two personally but it sounds like you're really hurt, which I understand, so my advice is sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel about this.

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  • He spend money he earned, on something he really wanted? No, you should not be mad, what the hell?

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  • Ask for what you want on Christmas or your next birthday. I don't know how your arrangement works, but if he's agreed to you being a stay at home mom doesn't that generally mean money's shared? So you could buy yourself something expensive next time too. Or if it was the expense that bothered you, I think you're within your rights to question if it was too excessive of a purchase.

    Does remind me why I'll always earn my own money though; financial independence is huge.

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  • Let him know.

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