Guys, how to tell my husband that I am not satisfied sexually without hurting the relationship or him?

My husband has seemed uninterested in sex lately, and when I try to innitiate it, he often will pretend that he's not getting my hints, or telling me that he's busy and needs to go or something. I am not ugly or fat, and I know he isn't cheating- at least not with a real woman anyway. The point is that him rejecting me is slowly distancing me from him. I feel unwanted, I am starting to feel like a looser, and the combination of all these feelings makes me want to just distance myself emotionally and sexually from him, which obviously won't lead anywhere good. How can I tell my husband that I am not happy in this kind of situation, and that it's hurting our relationship? I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also want him to know that a sexless marriage is not my piece of cake. He is very good in other ways- he's a good provider, he respects me as a person, he cuddles with me, does activities with me (walks, movies, etc), but he never goes after me sexually, and he even acts uninterested when I try to initiate it. Should I tell him that I am getting overall unhappy with our life because of this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Men aren't so good at picking up subtle hints.
    Brutal honesty could work much better. Try telling him this:
    "Fuck my brains out, and do it now! I need it!. If you can't do it, I'll find someone who will !". That should get the message across.

    It could pay to put large doses of zinc, vitamin E and magnesium in his dinner for about a week, before you give him the ultimatum.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You don't need to say you are unhappy; you can just say, "I feel content but it still feels like something is missing and I want to make sure that both of us are as happy as possible." But. . . the bottom line is that you must have this talk. A sexless marriage is not much of a future to anticipate.

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  • Be honest. Sometimes we have to have our feelings hurt to understand what we are doing to others. If you need to spice things up, let him know. If you want to stay together, but sex isn't there, you can see about an open marriage. Only leave when its the last option.

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  • Marriage is a covenant between god an both of u not a contract... u have to be honest and open about the issues you have to make things better... i suggest u tell him what u said here... sex is important and you should talk to him.. distance in a marriage is never good

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