Guys, Friend invites me to his wedding with a forwarded message - where it was clear he already invited everyone else - Do I go?

Over 12 years of friendship, friend was dating other people, but many observers said to me that he liked me based on his behaviour. I always wrote it off, as I did not believe this, he was only my friend. As time passed, he became more obvious, then I thought okay, maybe its possible but had no interest in pursuing him therefore ignored it. He then got married and separated because of his wife cheating. At this time, we were good friends but not each other's closest friends. He chose to confide in me over his male friends as he didn't want them to know if he could work it out with her. I supported him and did my best to be a good friend but I noticed an increase in these obvious but non-friendship crossing behaviours/comments. So as soon as his other friends knew and could support him, I maintained a distance. During this time I started dating my bf but this friend still acted this way know this. When he met his current fiance, he backed off and I was so happy! She must be special, he must be in love! I met her once, and that is when I found out they were engaged, but he did not tell me until another friend mentioned it. During this meeting, he also shared a horrific story about something that happened to him recently. My bf and I felt the right thing to do was text him and provide support and so that is what I did. I am unsure if his fiance disliked this, but I was clear that this message was from both me and my bf. Then, I don't hear from him when I wish him a happy birthday and 4 months later I receive this forwarded invite. This invite clearly indicates that everyone else was asked for their availability. There is no apology, no comments - simply a blank forward. Now, I don't know if I should be attending his wedding and am hurt and feel disrespected. I don't know how to respond, its been 3 weeks, the wedding is in a month. I have worked so hard to maintain my male friendships, they are very important to me. Help!! Sad and confused.


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3

Most Helpful Guy

  • He may not have intentionally left you out of the initial invitation batch, but it does seem strange if that were the case because of your past together.

    I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you, but honestly, you and your boyfriend seem happy and your friend and his fiance seem happy and ready to move forward, so I think if you decided to sit this one out and instead plan something nice with your boyfriend, you'd enjoy yourself more.

    You guys can still be friends, but you don't have to be best buddies. Maybe from time to time you guys might try and catch up via email or something, but I don't see any good in staying too close to him since you both have your own lives, and his actions still have an influence on your emotions.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like a flake. He has his his life now, you have yours. Maintaining a friendship with him sounds like more work than it is worth. Trust your gut, if this invite doesn't sound genuine or like there is no heart in it then don't go. I am sure you have enough other friends to spend time with. I would just write this guy off and stop wasting time worrying about this situation.

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  • Hahaha what a pussy he is!

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    • lol - any thoughts on attending this wedding or what to say to him?

    • "I'm happy for you! I hope you live a wonderful life with your wife" and move on. Your story is much more interesting as you are the one who writes it.

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