Engagement ring or?

After recently asking a different, but related question, a couple others have come to mind. If you knew you could put the money to good use elsewhere immediately after (before or during), would you rather have an engagement ring or the other thing (e. g. House down payment, car, etc)?

  • RING
    56% (5)33% (1)50% (6)Vote
  • The other thing
    11% (1)33% (1)17% (2)Vote
  • Undecided or circumstance dependent
    33% (3)0% (0)25% (3)Vote
  • Just show me the answers
    0% (0)34% (1)8% (1)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not living with him unless we're at least engaged so...

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    • ... but i think this drives to one of the questions I have. Why does he have to buy you (a ring) for you to do X (whatever X has to be). I have a comment **below that's a follow up to this.

      It a fallacy in many places that the women takes care of the kids. After childbirth, many couples share responsibilities. I changed diapers and fed my children all hours of the day and night and still worked full time (hang in there if you're doing that right now, I feel for you, and it gets better). Many couples continue to split duties as the kids get older. In fact, at least where I live, even if they divorce, 50-50 duties for the kids continue. So, If that is consistent with others perspective, I'm thinking thats not the issue.

      If salaries between the genders and degrees conferred are roughly equal - still debatable in this area but perhaps better than it's ever been, then perhaps obtaining a job isn't the barrier either.

      The wa I read your comment, which may not have been the way you

    • Intended it at all, was that if he wants you to be with him. He'll have to pay. It that *is* what you intended, and he does follow your prescribed demand, believe me, he will. If, on the other hand, you are saying you are looking for a committment, is buying you something the committment you are looking for? If so, are you remaining uncommitted or are you also buying him something? Or are you saying he has to pay for you? ... I guess the safest answer is to say "it's tradition", but how long has that traditon been around and why was it started?

      **someone's grandfather use to ask, when a particularly difficult question came up and a person was struggling with a decision of whether to do something or not, "would you do it for a million dollars?" If the answer was yes (feel free to substitute a higher (or lower) dollar amount depending upon your circumstance), he would say, "now that we have established what you are, now we are just haggling over price."

    • Due to legal implications involved and commitment implications for my emotional needs, I need him to show me some demonstration of commitment. I am not going to get legally, financially, emotionally, and physically mixed up with someone without dine form of commitment from him other than a verbal commitment. I will not bring children into the world with someone who has not made a significant commitment to me in some way other than verbal. If he wants me to act life a spouse he better make me a spouse.

What Girls Said 4

  • B
    BUT only if the other thing
    has my name on it w/possession negotiated to be 51-100% = engagement ring to me
    AND
    the other thing can be no less than something that appreciates, e. g. house, stocks/bonds, other appraised jewelry, etc.

    We are keepers of the egg & stuck with the kids if not by choice, so many guys are not men and cut/run when the going gets tough.

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    • So, are you saying you view an engagement ring as an insurance policy? Something you can sell when he cuts and runs?

  • The only thing the ring can be good for is to keep your partner from being hit on. I was with my now ex-fiancé (unfortunately) for 5 years and we only got the ring when flirting got too much to handle at work.

    Otherwise I was content to just know I had someone I felt like would be beside me forever. The ring isn't necessary and certainly didn't make us bond any more. It was a nice gesture and its sweet wearing wedding/engagement rings but totally overrated.

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  • If you're going to go for a down payment, is it for you and whoever you are planning on proposing to? Maybe you should talk to them about it. What if they don't want to move in? And if you are doing it for the relationship, it's kind of a big thing and I'm sure the other person would appreciate being a part of your decision. I personally would be infuriated if my fiancee bought anything over $400 without talking to me about it first. Communication is good to have in a relationship.

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    • Guess that sets the cap on any surprise gift you will receive.

    • I'm frugal. I'd be happy with a surprise candy bar or a flower that was picked from the park.

  • I would want a ring but it doesn't have to be anything remotely fancy. I don't expect or want a expensive ring. I mean, you'd be afraid to wear any sizable diamond now a days... But I do want everyone including other guys to know. I'm taken! Gosh... A 100 dollar ring would be fine with me.

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What Guys Said 0

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