Husband treats me like I'm damaged and can't do anything right?

Last year I became extremely I'll. Hospitalized for three months, leaving on the condition I had a piccline running 24/7 and a nurse for five months after that, along with extensive therapy. I started college recently being two hours away from home staying with family when I have classes. Due to me changing career fields. My husband took amazing care of me during my recovery, but now he says things like, "you should do more", "you should try harder"... basically telling me that everything I've overcome is not good enough. I've had three open back surgeries, twelve shoulder surgeries (six to each side), multiple aspirations, etc. .. I've had to learn to use my arms completely. My arms are not 100%, but if you don't know me then you'd never notice I am limited. I'm not whining about my sickness. Personally it has changed me for the berger but I want to know if my husband will ever be able to want sex from me again, or be attracted to me. I can rub him, use my mouth in that specific area gets smaller. He is not cheating, I just feel he lost the desire to be with me romantically aftee seeing me so sick. I understand it was hard for him and things changed. If he cannot stop treating me like damaged goods I don't want to remain married to him. I have expressed my thoughts multiple times in multiple ways but I get same response, "I guess I don't need sex like you do". We are to young to be at the roommate stage. I am in the process of changing careers from nursing to med lab so I know I'm working hard to remain a person that isn't living off the government, even though I could with my "disability"-as the doctors say. I just don't want to lose my husband if this will pass. Will he ever look at me more then a sick, damaged person? What would you do? How would you feel?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're doing everything you can, maybe he tell you to try harder as a weird way to tell you to keep going and you can achieve more. I think that all the problems you had were hard for him to go through as well, so maybe it also affected him and he's having this behavior now. I'd suggest you to talk to him but since you've done that multiple times I guess that it's up to him now to change his mind.

    All you can do is keep going and show him in your day by day that you're not a damaged person and try to change the way he sees you. I really hope he'll change his mind.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Why no sex? Him? I know what ur going through i was in an accident spinal cord crushed neck being smashed. After being operated i had to learn to use hand leg physical therapy every day. Ask him why no sex? Tell him u need it. See what his answer is

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  • May e you hear things louder than they are, meaning he isn't saying things they way you are taking them. Either way, he has walked a hard road for you when many woukdn't have. So fight for it. I know you have butbtry again. Good luck.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would feel terrible. I am sorry you are going through this.

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