Monogamy? So many people believe in happily ever after and that their loves life will last forever?

Monogamy? So many believe believe in happily ever after and that their loves life will last forever. Yet, the vast majority of people get divorced. So many people are against polyamory, and yet so many of you probably deal with break ups and divorces and some of you never even find love. It seems silly to believe in this ideology of having one partner when in reality most of you will go through many partners throughout your life time and get divorced and start over again. Why are people against polyamory?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Monogamy is hard, but it is by no means impossible. People will say "monogamy is possible i you find the right person" but that's wrong. And that is part of the initial reason divorce rates are so high. Instead of looking for the right person, you need to make YOURSELF into the right person.

    Everyone is searching for Mr./Mrs. Right, and are so caught up in it that nobody is bettering themselves and making sure they are prepared for a committed relationship. As a result, nobody IS the right person because everyone is too busy searching for the right person.

    But if everyone focused on making themselves the right person, then EVERYONE would be prepared to form a committed relationship, and it wouldn't be as hard to find that special someone.

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    • but why is everyone focused on doing that and looking down on polyamory?

    • Nobody looks down on it, but it sounds even less likely to work out than a monogamous relationship to me. Its human nature to mate for life (but with the capacity of emotions that can be screwed up). We humans, are terrirorial and exclusive naturally. And in a truly loving relationship, you would feel no need to be with others and would feel complete satisfaction in a monogamous, exclusive relationship.

      I don't look down on those who practice polyamory, but i would never even consider doing it myself. I seek love and companionship, so its not something i could do.

    • It is not human nature to mate for life, this is why so many people cheat and divorce.

What Guys Said 5

  • "Yet, the vast majority of people get divorced.", this is misleading. Divorce rates among couples past certain barriers drop a lot, if marrying two bachelor's educated persons after age 25 it's only 23%; most divorces are by youth about your age.

    Polyamory is not an "alternative" to serial monogamy anyway; that just makes no sense.

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    • You are assuming that they have two bachelor's degree's, which is unlikely because I live in America and the vast majority of men and women are not in college her, most men. Women radically outpace men in college.

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    • The point is divorce runs rampant. If so then why is monogamy considered ideal? When you will just move to other partners?

    • Humans are serially monogamous. That's scientific fact. Marriage as a system is an economic one, not a romantic/emotional one, which is also a fact. I am not sure what you're getting at if you're not going to look over things like cohabitation and long-term relationships without marriages in the assault on monogamy.

  • I think that the majority of why divorce rates are so high is because people don't get married for the right reasons and\or rush into things to quickly. I also can't help but notice that divorce rates were lower back when more people practiced abstinence.

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  • I will tell you from experience that simultaneously dating ends badly, that three ways are worse, and it just doesn't work. I've dated multiple women at once they knew about each other and some knew the others.

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  • Society doesn't really look down on men who date around. It's actually the other way around. (Not my view but in reality that's the way it works.)

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    • That is not what polyamory is

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    • @Asker I would have expected you to be a little smarter considering you're a fucking 20 year old but I guess not.

    • I refuse to feed the trolls

  • "The vast majority of people get divorced" - just flat out wrong. About 50% of ALL marriages end in divorce, including second and third marriages. Research shows if both the man and woman are white, college educated, the woman has reached her 25th birthday, and their first child is conceived in wedlock, then their divorce rate is only 10%. Ten freakin' percent! So take heart and stop moping around, make your dreams come true!

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    • But the vast majority of people are not college educated, so then the vast majority of people get divorced. Research shows that if they are white? I doubt that (sounds racist). Most children are not conceived in wedlock in the 21st century and women are marrying much later, so the chances of divorce are very high

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    • You're wrong. In 2013, 72.2% of black births were out of wedlock, for Hispanics the figure was 53.5%, and for whites it was 29.4%. I'm not allowed to post links, but u can find these gov't stats yourself by spending about 5 mins on Google.

      So you clearly have no idea what you are talking about and any argument u care to make is completely discredited.

    • @FormerLurker , this might be helpful, but it doesn't mention children.
      You can read the full link :
      www.bls.gov/.../...-and-educational-attainment.htm
      44% of all white/white marriages end in divorce by age 46. Not mentioned in this article, but 52% end in either divorce or separation.
      For those with bachelor degree or higher, average age at marriage was 26.5 and 29.7% of first marriages ended in divorce. That would mean about 35% ended in either divorce or separation.

What Girls Said 2

  • I would rather just be single and not have to deal with any of that!

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  • I'm in a polyamorous relationship, but I don't see how others rejecting monogamy is going to strengthen relationships. I think polyamory would be more likely to destroy most relationships.

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    • Why do you say that?

    • I don't think most people are cut out for polyamory. They would likely be unable to cope with the jealousy they'll most certainly feel. I don't know the stats on the success rate of polyamorous relationships (if there even are any), but my guess would be that they fail at the same rate as monogamous relationships (if not more often).

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