So.. there's this married guy in my class..

So, I went back to school this year after having a kid and being out for a couple years. I am just absolutely smitten with this guy. I was engaged but recently we have stepped back to take ion everything that's happened in the last year between us and I needed some space.

anyways. I always catch him looking in my direction, we're always saying stupid sexual crap back and forth and I think he is the most absolutely ridiculously hot older guy I have ever seen. he's 16 years older than me and married. I feel like an idiot flirting with him because he's married and I feel like it would be stupid to continue flirting with him because well it's kind of useless, as if it's only an ego boost for the both of us.

I'm not saying that I necessarily want anything to happen. but man lol I am so frustrated ;) before me and my fiance's split thinger we hadn't had sex in FOR EVER! so I guess I don't know what to say or do about this?

should I stop talking to him.. stop flirting with him knowing that my intentions probably aren't as pure as they would be etc.. I don't really know what to think. like h always tells me things like I'm smart and funny and a great person. any guy would be lucky to have me etc... well I'm confused. hopeful you guys can provide me some insight..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should stop, remember it's not only you and him in this it's his WIFE and your fiancée...even if estranged could you imagine the look on his face if he saw you 2...or the hurt you would feel if someone esp. your husband did that to you...and these cases have often led to cheating...i understand you don't get the sttention you deserve from you fiancée but talk to him about it, and work it out if you think you can't I'm sure you are a great person and will find someone else to show that attention to you...just please stop this b4 all 4 of you get hurt

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    • Thank you for being so sweet about htis instead of bashing. its just hard. I love my well whatever we are lol but I was assaulted about 3 years ago finally started counceling and through it have started to get my life back on the right track.

      but I now realise that I fed on so much negativity for so long and neg attention from guys that when a guy gives me sincere compliments its like odd. and it feels so good froa change. I really will try to stop talking to him though. thanks :)

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    • Thanks for being sincere you get best answer :)

    • Thanks...:)

What Guys Said 2

  • Here's a list of things for you to do;

    1. Fiances don't just have a split, especially when there's a kid involved. It doesn't sound like you're into him anymore, so break the engagement and leave the guy before moving on.

    2. This other guy is MARRIED! Now it's a common known fact that whenever a guy gets into a relationship with a girl, he gets lots of attention from other girls. This does not mean however that he will act on his impluses. I would keep away from the married man. At best he denies you and you both have a laugh about it. At worst it'll destroy his marriage.

    You have a broken engagement, don't drag a marriage down with you.

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    • Thank you for at least answering this in a classy way. and my engagement ahs been very complicated and I'm willing to work through the differences that we have. its just not an easy situation. we're just taking time and he agreed that right now there is just a lot of stress etc.

      but anyways. I'min no means saying I want to sleep with him. just that.lol. I would like to accidentally touch his butt. ((fully clothed)) like bad school girl crush. Other than that, I think it would be far to messy

    • Oh a butt grab eh? I think that you probably couldn't help yourself from going further - I've picked up many girls on "breaks" due to their cravings for sex as you've described in your original post.

      Taking a break is no way to sort out your problems. The problems result from a both of you, not just one person. It just makes you grow apart slowly and makes you want to grab other guys butts.

    • Lol ya. well ever since we've been together one or the other of our parents have been severely ill.. then we got a little time to spend togethe and decided it would be a super idea to get engaged. then another parent got sick.. etrc. then his spending habits when absolutely CRAZY he put us so far in debt that I wince just hinking about it. I think its a primal thing to want someone to take care of you. and he just done'st, won't go to school etc.

  • def STOP because put yourself if his wife's shoe would you want your husband doing that to you with some other woman?

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What Girls Said 4

  • Yes only pathetic women chase married men - the fact that you are even asking this question is even more pathetic.

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  • stop talking and stop flirting. if you were married and in love would you want some heffa doing what your doing to your husband? probably not right? well there's your insight: stop flirting with a married man

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  • Don't do it! Run!. I was in a similar situation last year with a co-worker. I knew that he was married and he would flirt with me. At first I would tell him to look at his finger and leave me alone. They just gave him more energy to chase me. After months of flirting I wanted it just as much as he did. Unfortunately I gave in. We had sex like every other month for 8 months. You only think about yourself and the fun it will be. Look at the consequences. Catching feelings, pregnancy (condoms are not 100%), diseases, or getting caught. If the wife finds out she may flip out and resort to violence. Some women kills for their husbands. Its just not worth it. I was fortunate that the wife never found out or nothing else bad happened. I did feel myself starting to fall for him. That's when I really had to run from the situation. When you get married you may start to think "what is my husband doing when I'm not around". Stop flirting. What you think is harmless flirting can turn into something more.

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    • Thank you so much. I appreciate this.. I just feel myself gettng totally like enamored. its so dumb and I know it is but I just want to know I'm not alone in this school girl crush thing. thank you for you insight!!

  • No you shouldn't stop because it's feeding his ego and apparently yours.

    Why would anybody stop and think about the fact that there is a lady of his at home taking care of the house, the kids, etc. Why would you want to put her and their relationship above your ego boost and potential lay? God forbid if we only thought of others just once in awhile our world might turn out to be some kind of wonderful!

    So no, don't stop - you're just like all the women/men cheaters or homewreckers - you think about yourself and ONLY yourself - and it's just hehe/haha away from wanting to get banged by a married man that would use you to get sex and think nothing more of it.

    Be happy and get real!

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    • Ok you are somethign special apparently someone f"cked you over badly at one point. wow I almost shed a tear for you there... on teh other hand I have tried avoiding him I have tried not talking to him and he always makes small talk till we start actually talking again. and I ghighly doubt that its affecting his home life. HIGHLY DOUBT.

    • No you are just a loser for even flirting this heavily with a married man.

      Grow up, grow some morals and get a man that's SINGLE!!!

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