Hypothetically speaking, is it ok to leave your wife if she let herself go after you got married?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If she is 'letting herself go' because she doesn't care than kick her to the curb. In a marriage both party's must always work on themselves to improve oneself and the merrage. Both must also support and help each other with this. If she wants to improve then support her. If not then find someone who wants to. If a guy looses his job and dosen't try to get another than a woman will leave him. Can't blame her, he is failing the merrage. If a guy chooses to become lazy and fat (as so many do) and dosent want to work to fix it then she should consider kicking him to the curb. If a woman chooses to become lazy and not work on herself then she is letting the merrage down as well.
    If she is just getting older then that's a different story, or if she is suffering an illness- with that, you must support her. But if she is just giving up then she is not taking the merrage seriously.
    Both party's must work for improvement.
    People now don't seem to realize that a great merrage will be some of the hardest work you will ever attempt. But the rewards are amazing and very worth it. Nobody is perfect as they are. It is those who work to improve themselves constantly that achieve greatness. This is true of everything, not just merrage. Great musicians still need to practice. So does tiger woods. Nobody can say 'well I've achieved greatness- so now I don't need to try anymore." We all must keep trying.

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    • wtf is with the "merrage"?

    • For some reason my phone is auto filling a misspelled word. Hopefully the essence of what I have said will not be lost because of a technicality.

What Girls Said 9

  • Of course not. If you marry her, you agree to stay with her no matter what. If you don't really mean that, then don't get married.

    The only way I'd ever leave my husband is if he was unfaithful or abusive.

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    • so do you think physical attraction isn't needed in a marriage?

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    • oh ok i get ya. yeah, marriage definitely ain't for me.

    • Glad you figured that out sooner rather than later.

  • If you feel there is no love then I guess so. It might O. K for you, but just prepare that everyone else might not agree. If you still love her, but not attracted to her after the weight gain then that is pretty shallow. When you love a person, especially when you marry them then you are fully committed to accept their flaws. I wouldn't say "leave" her, if you have a problem with her weight then tell her. Be truthful. If you feel you're in a dead end then just get a divorce, its not the end of the world. You do want you want.

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    • what if it's somewhere in the middle ie, you do love her after she let herself go, but you tell her you'd like her to lose some weight or whatever but she doesn't want to?

    • Tell her you'll workout with her. Instead of flat out telling her you would like her lose some weight just say "Hey, I think we should start exercising and eating healthier. I think its time to lead a healthier life style for the both of us". Hopefully she'll go for it. Being supportive and being a team will make your relationship stronger and she feel as offended.

  • Well there's gaining 200 lbs and then there's just getting older, being stressed, not losing all the baby weight and not wearing make up everyday.
    I often feel and I think a lot of girls will agree that when guys say that they mean the latter. Things that are normal and of course we're pissed at you suggesting it's ok to leave then. If you can't stay with someone when as they get older, you really shouldn't have got married in the first place

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    • what about cutting their hair short, gaining weight, becoming lazier with shaving, etc?

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    • cuz its a stupid question

    • you're stupid because you can't even explain your own train of thought

  • Hypothetically speaking, I've never met a woman who let herself go intentionally after she married. Usually it's because she got sick etc. I guess that's totally up to that person. But lay down the law BEFORE getting married. Tell them: if you get too large then we're divorcing. See if they'd still marry you then.

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    • you have no idea how many women think they can let themselves go 'now that they've got a man'. yes it is intentional.

    • Then don't get married. What do you want me to tell you? I'm telling you based on my experience and what I've seen.

  • Technically if you marry someone you should be able to love them unconditionally, it's a commitment you've made. If something like that can make you reconsider your love for her then you shouldn't have married in the first place. Simple as that.

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    • so you're saying attraction isn't needed as long as you have a loving marriage?

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    • Not at all, as long as the step mother treats them well and loves them like they're family it's fine.

    • true.

  • ummmm... I'd talk to her about it first, and try to help her.. but after a while and she isn't making an effort. Then I think it's ok.

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  • ... again?

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    • the wheels keep turning
      but the road stays the same
      or does it?

  • Is it okay to leave your husband after he lets himself go? Most men will say no.

    So no.

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    • I think both people should just agree to both let themselves go :D

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    • its not. i'm saying that the wife herself would choose to stay with him. it's her decision and no one else's

    • i agree 100% someone. a man who has a decent amount of game can easily back out of a marriage and find a woman much younger. that isn't as easy for women.

  • No, it is not ok. You'd have to be really hot yourself and fit to even begin to have those thoughts.

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    • i'd have those thought regardless of what i look like to be honest

    • So you think that even if you looked like shit, you deserve a hot supermodel wife?

    • i never asked for a supermodel. it's quite a wide gap between looking attractive and being a supermodel

What Guys Said 6

  • All these comments about how you made a commitment to her, you married her, well fuck that! She also made a commitment to you, she also married you too! We both have a moral obligation to be best person and best partner we can. How can she say that she loves me and let herself go. If she did that then that means she doesn't love or care about me, or our marriage. What if you became a drunk loser that was verbally abusive? How many women would stick around? How is her getting fat and sloppy not a form of mental abuse? You can no longer enjoy her physically, she is no longer attractive and probably had no sexual interest anymore either. What the fuck kind of life is that? Why is it fair she gets to be happy and gets to do what she wants, but you don't? On top of that everyone thinks you are stuck with her!!! No fucking way! If you no longer have any self respect to at least maintain some sort of minimum quality in your life and no desire to keep yourself up, then I am walking away!

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  • Hell yeah since you didn't marry a WHALE you married a 120lb woman I'm guessing. So this would be my question to your Hypothetical wife "How long can you survive like that until we have to push you back into the ocean? " i1127.photobucket.com/.../...f.com-gif-maker_3.gif

    HAHAHAHAH

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    • lol what?
      also, would you please stop posting gif's in all your answers? this site uses enough bandwidth as it is.

    • 1 guy the other day asked me to stop nicely (I was surprised that he did it that way instead of trying to shit talk me into it). I agreed and stopped for like 4 days in a row. He later rejoined another thread of mine after seeing someone ask "Man where's the GIF mist?" LOL. Now someone wants me to put it back on the shelves again... I've barely used it though (the ANON guy isn't me so yeah...)
      I'll see what I can do (¬‿¬)

      I said how long would to take for us to push her (whale) back into the ocean where she belongs basically (wife)

  • No you made a committment to her.

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    • by 'commitment' do you mean my marriage vows?

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    • what if she made a commitment to keep the fire burning and broke it? does that free me from my commitment?

    • I would talk to her about it not walk away

  • Depends on whether or not she has no motivation to get back to looking decent.

    And whether or not you have let yourself go a bit as well. The "Eh, fuck it, I'm married now" mindset can be contagious

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    • you're not wrong. that's the very reason i asked this question in the first place.

    • Yeah there's really no definitive right or wrong answer.

  • You did say "for better or for worse," right?

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  • no one should let themselves go, ever

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