Multiple times before my wife and I got married. I made it very clear that in a marriage I believe in both people having the same last name. She agreed and she said she believes in it as well. Her mom and her grandmother all did the same thing they change their last name after married. She knows it is an extremely important thing and I would never even think about marrying someone if she does not believe in changing her last name and i consider it a dealbreaker.
Now, after we are married, she tells me she changed her mind and doesn't want to change her name. I am really hurt and really angry and I feel like she tricked me.
- Yes you have a good reason to be angryVote A
- No you don't have a good reason to be angryVote B
Most Helpful Girl
I can fully understand why she wouldn't want to change her last name and I think that she has every right to keep her own last name. However it's not okay for her to agree with you and make the promise that she'll change her last name and then suddenly change her mind as soon as you guys are married
I think maybe she was afraid that you wouldn't marry her if she didn't tell you she'd change her last name and that's why she lied and told you she'd do it. If that's the case I can sort of understand where she's coming from - she deserves to keep her own name if that's what she wants, but I do think you have a right to be mad because she did lie and tell you that she was going to do it. But in my opinion you both play a part in this
You need to sit down and have a talk. Why do you want her to change her name and why does she not want to do it? Can you maybe make a compromise such as a double barrelled name? Don't be too mad at her, she probably has her reasons for doing as she did, and you need to talk as adults. Afterall, you do love each other and that's the most important thing :)1