Marriage - think that is needed?

We have been together 5 years have a kid we are buying our first home I asked him if we were ever going to get married and he said not now cause we are already together. How should I take that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • this is one of the bigger reasons that I'm against moving in together before your married.

    all of a sudden being married is just a technicality which many people decide is just unnecessary.

    i would be very taken aback by his statement... and kinda disturbed.

    i think its important for a child to have two married parents whenever possible.

    not being married also makes it easier for the relationship to just break apart.

    thats just my two cents tho.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Uh... I would take it as he has no desire to marry you. Don't get me wrong, he may want to spend the rest of his life with you and perhaps just hates the marriage "label". Whatever the case may be, you should have a serious talk with him if this is something you really want. If not to satisfy your own desire for marriage, then to at least legalize everything to do with your relationship and your child. Also, depending where you live, you may get certain tax breaks if you two are legally married.

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  • Well why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free. What incentive have you given him to marry you if you have already given him everything from you and a child, to living together? The chances of you getting married at this point are slim, sorry to say.

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  • I never understood why people would want the government to control your relationship. If you get legally married, any law that is pass concerning marriage is brought down upon you.

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  • i guess if you 2 are really in love then marriage is not that important. Its just a contract by the government.

    perhaps. what you are upset about is his lack of concern.

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What Girls Said 3

  • he doesn't wanna marry you. he's getting all the perks of playing house with you without any of the legal commitment. if I were you I would NOT move in with him. It'll suddenly make him realize that he can't have his cake and eat it too.

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  • You need to ask yourself - what do you want? not him. did you make plans together? living together is one thing, having a child is a completely different other game.

    I lived with a man for ten years until I realized that I wanted and needed more. Communication seems to be such a big relationship issue. Friendship, parents, and lovers : we all are unable to say and admit what we want - to ourselves as well as others.

    So make a list.

    what do you want? why? Do YOU want to be married? If so, and it might cause problems/resentment later down the road. And yes , think of the future because plans are something you need to have with a child. How are you going to resolve the issue?

    Take your time answering your questions and don't think about others want , think about yourself for once. :) I really hope this helps... Believe me when I say, you do not want to wake up five years from now and ask yourself "what happened?"

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  • I would be worried. If you have a kid together and you are buying a house together, you need the legal protection of marriage. What if you guys split up? What if one of you is in an accident or needs spousal benefits? I have to run to an appointment right now and don't have the time to give a full answer. Talk to a counsellor/laywer about the implications of not getting married. I think you should for the sake of the legal protection it will offer all of you.

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