What would you do if you spent a lot of money to be a friend's bridesmaid, and then the bride calls off the wedding?

A good friend of mine asked me to be one of 3 bridesmaids, and of course I was happy to fullfill the role.

The bridesmaids dresses she wanted cost about $300.. not even including the shoes, accessories, etc... which was way out of my budget, but I made it work.

Turns out the wedding has recently been cancelled (a week before the big day) and she kindly offered to reimburse me for any expenses.

Part of me wants to accept her offer, and the other part thinks that would make me a huge dick for taking her up on it.

What is the proper etiquette in this circumstance?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should accept the offer if you feel bitter about the fact that you lost money. I'm sure she must be going through a lot since her wedding had been called off and she's probably not getting a full refund for things she paid for. But if you don't feel happy about it you should take the offer and be there for her without harsh feelings rather than decline the offer and have bitter feeling towards her

    • I definitely wouldn't have bitter feelings towards her, I was just more curious about the proper etiquette and if I COULD get a refund without looking like an asshole or not. But I care more about her than the money, so if it would be in poor taste, I wouldn't accept a refund.

    • I personally think you shouldn't take the money. If you really are okay with it. I mean she's going through the embarrassment of having her wedding called off and like I said she's probably losing a lot of money for things she already paid for. It would be nice of her friends to not mention their losses money-wise to add on to stress she's already having


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What Girls Said 4

  • I would just tell her she owes me dinner jokongly or something. I hate being in weddings but I hate the time and hassle more than I hate spending g the mo eu. As far as money it doesn't matter if they married or not. I was in a wedding that was called off after I bought all the stuff, I was just glad she didn't marry the dude. They gave me my wedding party present. Money shouldn't come between friends but the diner joke makes it clear we are okay in my opinion.

  • Take her offer.

    You do risk a lot being a bridesmaid. One of mine got all her stuff and last minute her job needed her that day no questions. She lost some money. That however was not my fault.

    If I had called off the wedding, I would've reimbursed them.

  • Maybe she can help you by helping you sell all the stuff you bought. You won't cover all your expenses but you should get at least a considerable amount back.

  • That's a tough position because you know that wasn't an easy decision to make. Hopefully the time you got together we're worth it for the memories. I wouldn't accept money only because she is probably out a lot more money than you are.
    Maybe settle for a nice night out or a dinner.
    Immsorry that probably didn't help.