Is my wife wrong?

My wife rarely pays any attention to me. And i asked her to pay more attention to me so she said we will have more family time together (me, her, and the kid) but i want us to have alone time together. She said no and the only time we will spend together aside from sleeping in the same room is the time we spend together with our kid

She says that because children need more attention than an adult, it is ok for her to pay very little individual attention to her husband.

Is she wrong?

  • Yes she is wrong
    89% (25)
  • No she isn't wrong
    11% (3)
And you are? I'm a GirlGuys can not vote on this poll

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15

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're her partner. Of course you deserve attention and love. The child needs attention, but affection shouldn't die off when the child is born. I don't know how she developed this warped sense of logic, but you should see if you get her to understand how you are lacking and craving attention from her. And if you can't convince her, then I would recommend asking to go to counseling a few times.

    Best.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Along with baby bonding, you both Need Beloved Bonding as well.
    She is making excuses for why she is putting you on her own pay no mind list. It may have a lot to do with a chance for more romance and she is just not in the mood to try or even care about Trying.
    It's important, without it being in etched in stone, that she get on the same page with you. This could end up going down a badly beaten problem path and end up to be a War of the Roses.
    Good luck. xx

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  • How do you sustain any relationship unless you work at it and give it attention. By discounting your relationship with each other, she is setting the wheels in motion for resentment and unhappiness to grow. You wouldn't have children if you hadn't had time alone with each other. You wouldn't have fallen in love and married each other if you hadn't had alone time with each other. How is your relationship supposed to grow to the next level if you never have time alone with each other?

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  • She's being selfish but is there something else at play here? Is this a recent thing? This seems off to me that she would only show a need for you when your kid is there.

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  • She is dangerously wrong. Without a strong and fulfilling bond as a couple, the 'family' isn't healthy or strong. And a child needs a good role model of what a relationship should look like.

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  • Any relationship needs time and commitment. The amount of time and commitment that you put into your relationship will vary throughout the years. Otherwise the relationship will die, and you will be heading for divorce.

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  • She is wrong. You have to maintain the relationship and the child. a lot of marraiges fail because of not being able to balance the two. You two should plan to do things together and as a family. Each couple need those special times where the spark can continue to have flame. You should talk to her about this and let her know how you feel. Also ask her how she will feel if you wasn't showing her any attention.

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  • If the kid is too young, it does require a lot of attention. If it's over 4-5 years old, you could have someone look after her so you can go out from time to time.

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  • i think she is wring she should have time for you too

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  • She's wrong in the sense that she isn't making alone time for the two of you. Yes, children need a lot of attention. But they need to take a backseat sometimes as well so you two can have fun. A relationship is a two way street.

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  • Based on this limited information I'd say she's wrong

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  • She is wrong, but I really can't say considering their may be another problem on your behalf.

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  • Of course the kid needs more time, but to make the relationship work, the adults need time together too.

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  • hell she is wrong

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  • Children come first and lots of husbands feel left out during childhood rearing years. Her priority is first her children, then family and last you. Try to schedule in a date night once a week. As children get older the relationship will go back to what it was prior to having kids.

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    • Is it really taht hard to be together at night after the kid falls asleep?

    • Are you a full time parents hands on? I am and I have to tell you sometimes it's just plain exhausting! As a stay at home mom I get very little time for myself so when night hits I need me time sometimes. It's not hard to connect with your spouse but marriage has its phases and currently ours of kids first, family second, me third and last pampering my husband. If I'm beat down and exhausted I'm no good to my family as the matriarch and one who keeps use all glued as a family. It's not that my husband isn't important, he is, but his time will come again when kids start getting older.

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