Hey everyone! I've been wondering, do any of you still believe in marriage?

I've noticed that many people in my entourage (including my boyfriend's family) don't get married and just live with each other with no commitment. I had to convince my boyfriend that marriage isn't only for religious freaks (cause thats what he thought).

  • For marriage
    81% (38)59% (22)71% (60)Vote
  • Against marriage
    4% (2)27% (10)14% (12)Vote
  • Not sure
    15% (7)14% (5)15% (12)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Marriage to me is an important and vital part of society. Society is going to sh! t partially because the social structures are disintegrating and becoming dysfunctional. I refuse to be a part of that, if I could find someone compatible, I'd get married right away.

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    • I'm thinking the same thing, people are becoming trashy and sleeping with anyone. They "try" people and don't want to commit. Our society is definitely going to shit!

    • Love your response !

    • thanks girls, wish I knew more women who agreed.

What Guys Said 26

  • I'm not actually the biggest believer in the weird psuedo-religious legal aspects or the pagentry... but I do believe in stating your intention to stay together, commiting to that, and if its important to the other person would have no problem with going the whole ceremony route.

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    • I was thinking the same thing!

    • I think the spoken commitment is important though. Some people seem happy to let relationships trot merrily along for years without ever discussing what their relationship actually is... and that's... odd... to me. Not knowing where you stand.

  • I am For marriage all the way

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  • I'm against marriage because of it's religious/historical basis as much as I'm against it for the side effects it brings. When you become legally bound to someone more often than not one or both people will get too comfortable and they will slack off. Once you feel like you can't lose something you stop trying to keep it. Then ironically you're more likely to lose it. The fact that either party can end the relationship is a strong motivator in much the same way that knowing you will die eventually can motivate you to do more with your life. People who do not feel like they own each other are more likely to put in the necessary effort to keep the relationship healthy. Marriage can be a motivator to stay together also I suppose, but the relationship would be hollow if that is the sole basis for staying together.

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  • I've always felt that marriage is just legal documents. If my future lady doesn't mind just spending the rest of our lives together without getting married then I'm not getting married.

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  • yeah I sure do but I think its because I was born during that time.

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  • Well i got married fairly young to the girl i love dearly. We have been through the ups and downs, but we know that marriage has kind of bonded us together and has taught us so much about responsibility and each others needs. I love marriage

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  • Not being married is not the same as no commitment.

    Two people can actually be very committed to each other without some legal documents binding them together and making it a very lengthy and often costly process to part ways.

    Personally I want to make it as easy as possible for my partner to leave me. Because then I know that she is with me because she truly wants to and not because it's a hassle to leave me.

    That being said, I'm not against marriage. I'm simply against the idea that you are only committed of you are married.

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    • ^ Exactly this. A relationship feels more strong when two people stay together when they have all the freedom to leave at any point. That means your partner WANTS to be with you, not because they're in too deep and divorce is long, costly and stressful.

  • Yes, sure i support marriage why not?

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  • I don't believe in marriage but see no reason against cohabiting and having kids

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  • I completely believe in marriage.

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  • Very much against marriage; Marriage is only beneficial for the woman in a straight couple marriage. It's well too one sided, has diminishing returns for the man, and has no logic benefits for the man. I can see why women would want to get married: A legal contract binding him to her so he can't leave her easily, and a compensation for him leaving her via alimony and child support.

    I don't trust women enough to throw my life away from one.

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    • Prenup.
      Plenty of women are and can be the bread winners in a family.
      You will pay child support anyway, with or without marriage.
      People leave marriages all of the time.
      Last option, don't marry a lazy, dumb bitch.

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    • I actually agree with you and have always thought the same thing about the majority of women who want to marry. They idolize it, make it a goal, think it will fix and change everything that goes on in relationships. Women put marriage on a pedestal from childhood lol.

      My point was marriage isn't the start of a bad relationship and maybe you shouldn't date dumb bitches who need your money, regardless if marriage is involved or not. I just failed to see how that was marriage related other than the alimony part.

    • Bait and switch happens, and the money issue was just one stipulation of the legal contract. My problem is more the fact that it's like I'm entering a business with someone with specific rules and regulations that are government regulated versus what we've established as a couple. It doesn't feel like a relationship at that point, it sounds more like I'm signing my life away to the devil.

      That's the problem I have. If the law stayed the fuck out of people's lives then I'd have no problem with marriage, but it's a contract instead of a commitment.

  • I think it is the foundation for the basic unit of society, the family.
    It's important union between one man and one woman that should be respected.

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  • I think it's pretty complicated. Marriage has a lot of federal benefits, but I understand why many people don't want it, because it comes with a lot of downsides. I believe that for some people it's the right choice, but not every couple needs marriage to 'seal the deal'. Some couples don't need it--I'm glad that society is growing a bit more accepting of that.

    Personally, I'm still pretty young and I don't know yet if I want to get married one day, be in a committed relationship without marriage, or even ever have a committed relationship.

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  • I saw one once. I was standing by the staircase, and this marriage just walked right by and looked at me. I know what I saw.

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  • I don't believe in marriage.

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  • I am really big fan of marriage and i can't wait tbh

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  • i´m undecided... i´ve heard of a lot of people out of my set that broke up shortly after marriage. even if they had many years of good relationship before that.

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  • with 50 states legalizing sodomization... marriage will never be the same.

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  • I believe marriage works for some people. Not for me, though. Everyone needs to find a a way to ge happy.

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  • Unfortunately, marriage is a extremely bad deal for men this day & age, as things are now I would have to be against marriage.

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    • Why would it be a bad deal?

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    • oh i see :/ but not all women are pathetic gold diggers

    • I know not all women are like that, but enough women are like that to make a lot of men give the idea up.

  • Atheists have no moral absolutes except for the government. Prove me wrong by showing me a written code of morals that all atheists subscribe to. Long live the Confederacy.

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  • I'm too young to get married anyway, so not sure

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  • Wow. Sounds like you two have a very bright future ahead of you...

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  • Marriage is dumb. It's simply an asset grab for the poorer of the couple (which historically is the women, although more men are falling into that category than in the past).

    It really is a hideous institution and it should be dismantled and scrapped.

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  • I voted C, though I am sure, it's just I'm neither for nor against marriage. If people want to get married then I think they should, but equally if a couple don't feel the need then I see no reason for them to marry.

    I certainly would like to have a long term/life partner, and I'd like for us to be committed to each other, but I don't think going through the process of getting married would be necessary for that. If she wanted to I wouldn't object, but it's not something particularly desire.

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  • Marriage is for religious freaks, and for idiots in general.

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    • no, its for people who aren't afraid to commit.. but you're aloud to your opinion

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    • yeah im funny ;)

    • Who? me? :(

What Girls Said 16

  • "my boyfriend's family) don't get married and just live with each other with no commitment"

    I take issue with that statement, because it's complete and utter bullshit.

    Quite frankly, I think it's daft as fuck. To claim people that choose not to get married live without commitment is an insult to all the couples that have lived and continue to live happy lives without the government's involvement.

    Who are you to decide whether said couples are committed or not?

    Have a quick glance at the divorce stats across the globe, then try putting marriage and commitment into one sentence without sounding like a moron. All those promises and "sacred vows" amount to nothing when two incompatible idiots are trying to divide their stuff in court.

    Marriage is a legal contract and by no means does it guarantee that two people are committed to each other. They might think they are at the time, but numbers don't lie. Sounds like your boyfriend's side of the family have their heads screwed on right.

    If you want to get married - all the more power to you. My best friend got married to a fantastic man and I couldn't be happier for her. But don't go around saying people who don't marry lack commitment, lest you want to sound like an ignorant fool.

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    • I'm sorry if you're living a miserable life, get well

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    • I get your point. Thanks for sharing. Haha don't worry I'm not that bad with him :) I apologize for the way I acted. I still believe in marriage though. It's very important to me. I wish you a happy life with your boyfriend:)

    • I believe in a lot of things, marriage not being one of them. I still fail to see how my existence causes people to get divorced. :P

      Your welcome to hold marriage dearly, if it's something that works for you. As I mentioned earlier, my best friend married young (18) and had 3 kids with the man and I think she made an excellent choice. She's also 26 and very happy with him.

      I only take issue with the assumption that people cannot be committed to each other WITHOUT marriage. My boyfriend's aunt has been with the same man for 14 years and both of them are the happiest most positive couple I've ever met.

      So there you have it, commitment in a married and unmarried relationship. It's the people involved that make it a true commitment. :)

  • Marriage, even tho its just papers and legal stuff, can mean a whole lot more I'd you take it for what it really is. It's taking a vow to each other in from of (whatever religion u have or friends and family)... I found that getting married, brought me and hubby closer. Just because you live with someone and see them every day doesn't mean you're like a married couple persay... It really depends on the people. I'm not saying everyone who isn't married iant legit. I just think marriage is a strong powerful thing that can make you feel even closer to ur SO than u felt just as boyfriend and girlfriend. marriage is forever.

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    • Amen! My thoughts exactly :)

  • I'm not completely sure. Only reason being the fact that I see most marriages around me failing and shit happening, people secretly cheating on each other... but I still would like to get married, but if not, I guess that'd be okay too. I don't know.

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    • I get your point, but everyone's different :)

  • I don't put marriage on a pedestal, idolize it or want some "special day". I also don't think it symbols or is needed for commitment because I wouldn't marry a man who wasn't committed to me in the first place. But I do want to get married, I like the idea of marriage even if I don't think it's needed.

    I never want to be one of those people who lets other's bad marriages influence me or let the divorce rate scare me. I'm not going to let other people and their marriages dictate how I feel about it or what I do with my life because honestly people are in all kinds of fucked up relationships with or without marriage lol

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  • I had boyfriends in the past that wanted to have kids with me. But I said no because I wanted to be married first. Waited until I met the right guy. I was with him for 3 years and was still on birth control while we were dating. Then he asked me to marry him and I did then a few months later I came out pregnant. The smartest thing I did was get married first then have my daughter. We been together for 11 years but married 8years. Then we had a second kid another girl. The first one is 7 years old and the second one is 3 & a half. Love them so much. Yes marriage is important. Now in days people think its okay not to be married but it was really important for me.

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  • I wouldn't say it's absolutely necessary but I think a nice way to show the other person how much you love them and that you want to share the rest of your life with that person

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  • I still hope to get married. Alrh5the older I get, the more hope I lose lol. Im. still holding on to the thought tho.

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  • I think that marriage is not the most important thing. If I never got married it wouldn't be an issue and the same if I did get married. I think that if my girlfriend wanted to get married in the future I would get on one knee and propose to her. I love her to pieces. Not right now though. We haven't even moved in together yet. We are moving next month though :)

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    • Thats great! Congrats to you two :) xoxo

  • To me marriage isn't really a need. Plus it almost makes it seem like marriage is like proving to everyone that your stuck together. Only way i would get married is due to any benefits you would get from it. Other wise I'm just happy to be with my boyfriend.

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  • Lmao wooow

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    • ok that was a helpful comment, thank you for sharing lol

  • I do believe in marriage but I know marriage isn't for everyone. I think that too many people tend to settle instead of finding the right person to get married to. Some people aren't willing to put the effort in either. I'm also an atheist so I know marriage is definitely not only for religious freaks.

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  • I still believe in marriage and wait for when i can and maybe start a family. Just waiting... haha

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  • It cost money to get married (registration) and money to get out of it. I'm not for it.

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  • Not sure. Nobody in the family is divorced, but some would be better off divorced.

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  • yeah. even though my parents are getting divorced..

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    • I'm sorry to read that :( Hopefully it won't be the same for you xx

  • I love the idea and concept of marriage and I really hope and pray to God that soon I will get married to the guy I like and admire :)

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