Do you think it is okay for a husband to dictate what is appropriate for his wife to wear?

So, my friend husband thinks I need to dress like a old lady. He always tells me, there is no way, my wife could leave the house bra-less (I don't like bras.). Also she needs to wear shirts that cover her butt and hips. He thinks my husband is way to easy going, with the way I dress.
So do you think your husband should dictate what you wear?
Fellas, do you feel you have that right?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think so, if he wants you to wear a bra, tell him to wear a bra around all day and see how uncomfortable they are.

    Also I do think it's ok to ask your wife to tone it down if she is wearing things that are very inappropriate because I can see why some men feel disrespected by really hoochie outfits their wives wear. But he has no right to demand it or have a dress code for her. And if it's just something a little sexy, then get over it.

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    • I have actually told this guy that, try wearing a bra, all day. I also agree, if you want her to cover up a bit, fine. But don't give me a dress code.

    • lol they should make penis bras so that men like that have to wear those.

      Thank you for MHO

What Guys Said 18

  • Well, women often try to change what their husbands wear too - usually when the guy dresses down or wears old, dirty clothes. Married people should try to accommodate the other's wishes to an extent. But it is overbearing and controlling to make demands. Men of certain personality types or from certain cultures will try to dictate not just what their woman wears but also where she goes, who she can talk to, etc. Maybe it springs from some inner insecurity or mistrust.

    To those below saying going braless looks gross... it's a look you often see on fashion runways, red carpets, at galas, in magazines, etc. It just depends on the clothes and the person. Also, some women are small and thin and don't require much support anyway, so it doesn't look strange for them to be braless in a T-shirt or tank top.

    If I were married, I'd want her to wear what she's comfortable with and which expresses her personality. Some are honestly more comfortable wearing less. In most cases, that shouldn't be a problem. But if you are dressing a certain way to get the attention of other guys, then that's a symptom of a much deeper problem.

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  • I think it depends on what she is wearing. If they are shorts that expose half of your ass, with a crop top that has cleavage half the way down your shirt, as well as thong straps visable above your waist band, then i can see why he would have a problem with it. But otherwise, i don't think its alright for him to have a say.

    And even if it is appropriate for him to have a say, he shouldn't force you not to wear it. He should tell you how he feels about it, and ask you kindly not to wear it.

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  • He has the right to give an opinion, but not to demand. She can wear whatever she wants cause it's her body, her life, so it's her decision, if he doesn't like it, he knows where the door's at.

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    • Agreed, an opinion but not rules.

  • No I don't

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  • No that is archaic

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  • Haha, he's not only dictating what his wife wears, but is trying to push that on you, too. I don't feel I have the right to dictate but I can make suggestions...

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  • I would tell your husband that you didn't marry his friend and that you are your own person. Disn't isn't Afghanistan or Utah you can ware or dress however you want.

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    • Agreed, but he feels he has such a good marriage and can give advise to others.

    • well let him know your a grown ass woman and don't need his over bearing opinions. Your not married to him, I would just ignore him.

  • No that is not appropriate. She is not a child and he doesn't need to treat her like one.

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    • You sir, make a very valid point.

    • Thank you :)

  • A marriage is a equally balanced playing field. If your husband restricts what you wear than do it. That will give an equal and opposite ability to you restrict what he wears.

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    • Give and take. Yin and Yang. Balance.

  • You should be able to wear what you want

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    • Exactly, I dress modest. I just don't see a reason to dress like I am going to church everyday.

  • Yep. Sure do.

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    • Why? Can you explain why? Also could she dictate what you wore?

    • Because I said so. I don't have to. And no.

  • Yeah but a wife should have the right to dictate what her husband wears too

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    • To an extent, because most people like the idea of creating their own style.

  • Heck no, I want her to be comfortable. As long as everything isn't hanging out I'm happy.

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  • I've heard women don't dress revealingly, once they have a boyfriend, not sure why but, he shouldn't have to tell her that's she can't dress revealingly

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  • Females can do it why not guys? I guess being the receiver isn't so fun for them I guess

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  • he's just jealous and don't want anyone else to see your butt and boobs playing around

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  • Dictating what she wears? No he doesn't have the right.

    Telling her he isn't comfortable with inappropriate clothes, he should be able to. If I'm married to her I won't be okay with her going out with something exposing parts of her only I should see.
    It's like who are you trying to impress?

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    • Okay, I see your point. Well stated.

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    • Agreed, but for some, the second is still to revealing. I would not wear the first but the second, heck yea. Lol

    • I'm sure for some it's still revealing lol some people are just too conservative.
      I don't think the second is too much, the length is closer to the knees and it's only showing the top of the cleavage, maybe it would be inappropriate if the girl has really big boobs and they get pushed up too much lol

  • Yes. Honestly i would care about that.

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    • Why? Well, I guess. You are still quite young.

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    • Ah, gotcha. You mean you reserve the right to dictate on revealing clothes, not all clothes. If that is what you are saying than I can understand that.

    • YES ! other than that i just wouldn't care.

What Girls Said 20

  • No, I do not think it is okay for a husband to dictate what is appropriate for his wife to wear. A man who does that is overstepping his boundaries and essentially creating a highly inappropriate, unhealthy dynamic between wife and husband. Honestly, that tends to be the first warning sign of an abusive relationship when a man starts trying to dictate how the woman in his life dresses and GIVES HER ORDERS on what she can and cannot do (as a grown ass adult/her own person).

    Your husband’s friend has no concern with what you choose to wear. It is none of her damn business what you wear and he needs to accept the fact that he doesn’t have any legitimate right to control a woman.

    If my husband or boyfriend ever tried to dictate what I wear, I would leave him.

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    • I agree, he has no business worrying with our life. But he acts as if he is a relationship guru.

    • LOL that’s hilarious seeing as his relationship advice would surely lead to a disaster with any woman who isn’t a complete spineless pushover.

  • A husband as a right to some extent... why should he be okay with the world seeing things only he should be seeing... I think going bra-less is really gross so I see his point there. He seems to be a little crazy with the length of the shirts but in general he should have some say

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    • True indeed. But I actually dress quite modest.

  • You shouldn't marry someone you feel doesn't dress appropriate. What I mean by that is, if you're a really conservative guy like say Josh Duggar you probably shouldn't be with a girl who likes showing a lot of skin and dresses like Miss Twerksum. Marrying says you accept them how they are. So unless she radically changed her style from when they first met he should deal with it.

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  • Dictate? No.

    Have an opinion/preference? Yes.

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  • I think it's okay for him to tell what he likes and/or what he doesn't like, BUT he DOESN'T have the right to make demands. From the moment he does that, he stops being the husband and transforms himself into a dictator.
    A husband is supposed to be also a friend to his wife, not her "owner".

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    • Valid point. Opinions, as long as they are suggestive and not controlling.

    • Thanks. Exactly, there's a limit for everything and when he's a controller he crosses that limit.

  • no marriage isn't a fascist regieme in most parts of the world--where are you from?

    you're not a child. he can give his opinion but its no ones place to tell you how to dress. you're an adult.

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    • The US. Exactly an opinion but not a rule.

    • yup. your right to dress how you want:)

  • Honestly what kind of husband orders his wife around? To me any husband that does that is a shitty husband who doesn't truly care about his wife's happiness if he has to tell her what to do. In that case he's just babying her and barking orders.

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  • I think that a husband has the right to offer an opinion on what his wife wears but not dictate it. Something like "honey, that's a little revealing" or "I don't feel that's appropriate but it's your decision" is okay but telling her that her shirts need to be longer because he's not comfortable is not acceptable at all in my opinion.

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  • my father tells my mother what to wear most of the time. But my mom is okay with it because she doesn't know what to wear sometimes. I think at some point its somewhat controlling. But when he's telling you to wear a better shirt that covers your butt, I think he's being protective of her seeing how the world is today. But when it reaches the point like "You don't have this collar on properly" and "That shirt is missing a button. change it". Its kind of controlling and its like he's treating you like a child.

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    • Well, if your mom is okay with it, fine. But, wren a woman wants to look nice and you try and change her clothes, that is to much. Like you mentioned, those are early warning signs.

    • Ignore the last sentence, commenting on to many post and mixed up the comments.

  • I don't think anyone should go braless because I don't want to see saggy boobs no matter how young you are, but the rest he needs to mind his own business about.

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    • Understandable, but also why does it matter if my husband is okay with it and I am okay with it?

    • How would you feel if your husband walked out dressing extra sexy knowing he'd be around other women (and some men) that would find him attractive enough to flirt, tease, and even cheat on you with?

  • The way you dress is none of his business. He shouldn't tell his wife what she can and can't wear. I think it's okay for him to mention that he doesn't like how short something is on his wife though.

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  • No way. My husband needs to understand that I am my own person. Nobody has the right to tell me what to wear. If he likes he can offer an opinion, which I can choose to listen to or not.

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  • not in that way! maybe sometimes telling me to cover my cleavage or wear a longer skirt or something like that but nothing more!

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    • My thoughts exactly. Letting me know, I am to exposed is fine but no more than that.

  • No way. I was in a relationship with a guy who liked me the way I was dressed when we first met but eventually he wanted me to tone down my outfits. I broke up with him as I want to dress the way I like.

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  • it should not be like that.
    bt he should asked you to wear what you like. what u dont like he should not.

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  • EXCUSE ME. Why are we not focusing on the fact that her friends husband told her how to dress, not her own? THAT is out of line, no question.

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    • True indeed.

    • So gross of him. Tell his wife he told you to wear a bra. That will put him in his place.

  • he sounds like a control freak

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  • it's different depending on the man himself maybe he just means well and he's jealous

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  • As someone who doesn't like to show skin in the first place, I would be VERY comfortable keeping it conservative.. I don't care if I'm taken or single. I AM A FUCKING LADY, AND I WILL KEEP SHIT CLASSY ON THE REGULAR... but when people start making "demands" on how I should dress... you can expect FULL rebellion. I do what the fuck I want. When the fuck I want...

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    • Express yourself, Ms. Lady!!! Also, I agree.

  • A husband should not be dictating what his wife should be wearing.

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    • Agreed, completely agreed.

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