What should a husband say if his his wife comes to him and confesses that she cheated on him with two persons at a time and is feeling guilty?

Should that bother him?


0|0
6|11

Most Helpful Guy

  • Husband? Wife?
    I would ask her if she enjoyed it, and regardless of the answer I'd say "good... Now get out".
    One, two, or 10 men... It doesn't matter, she betrayed your trust... And that trust is impossible to get back, you will always have the image of two dudes plowing your wife, and you will always hold her as a suspect.
    Who cares if she "feels bad"? She should have thought about that before she put herself in that position (sandwiched by two men).
    She may feel guilty, but what are you feeling?
    I would cut her loose without second thoughts, she crossed a bridge and lit a match on her way over... Where in her getting stuffed from both ends was she thinking about you?
    The defect is not your own... It is hers!
    You just don't do that to somebody you love and somebody who loves you wouldn't do that to you either.

    1|2
    0|1
    • Thats exactly what the husband will feel... thank you for understanding the sentiments... but many people says that people make mistakes and deserves second chance... and they cheated you some days ago (so its the past)... are they correct?

    • it is only passed if you can look beyond the present... And if you can get over the apprehension and the fear of it repeating.
      I know a lot of people would say it's easier just to cut the ties and move on... And while they would be correct... If you are the person in the middle, it's not always so clear cut.
      Just know, if you move forward and take her back... You are the only person that has to live with the thoughts you possess, and if you can live with that... Then do what your heart desires.
      Just know... By giving someone a second chance is like giving them another bullet for their gun because they missed you the first time... And this is the hard cold reality of the situation.
      This is not to say that forgiveness is not the right answer... It's only to say that you can forgive and move on without the person you're forgiving... When the respect and trust is gone, it's my opinion that love is not enough.

    • Wow... bullet example was awesome.. thank you... you cleared my thoughts

What Girls Said 6

  • I think it should. Cheating is so dangerous and so selfish. No one should ever be stuck in that kind of relationship.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Thank you... what would you have done.. if your partner comes out clean and begs for forgiveness?

    • Show All
    • I honestly don't know that they would. They're just there to help facilitate communication between you and your wife.

    • Yes... But I am happy getting advice here than from councellors.. thank you

  • yes, it should bother him. it should bother him a lot. at the least he should take a break from her, put their relationship aside, split up for awhile to figure out how he's feeling. at this point he doesn't owe her his time, he's allowed to have it so he can figure out if he's gonna be able to forgive her for betraying his trust and love or not.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Does she deserve another chance?

    • Show All
    • @Asker since you ask, yes, the partners can have sex with other people. some couples don't require that their partners ask, while i do just so i know who my partner is sleeping with, in case something WAS to happen (lord forbid my girlfriend wasn't save!!!), plus we tell each other everything anyway. open relationships are relationships where you're comfortable with the both of you sleeping with other people to the point that, in your relationship and love for one another, you can sit down and have a girly chat about the sex they had with someone else last night and it's an enjoyable conversation, not a hurtful one. however, monogamy is for most people! a lot of people can't handle open relationships bc they want monogamy and i can't blame them; monogamy is great, too, but i feel like i have a monogamous relationship bc we're just as close as we'd be if we weren't in an open relationship. if that makes sense!

      i saw the answer you faved, ia with it completely by the way, good luck to you!

    • I learnt a new thing from you.. thank you for sharing

  • Love forgives.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Until the next time!!

    • Show All
    • All I know is that when I'm in love, I can forgive anything. It doesn't make it ok that a person cheats, and I'm not saying that they wouldn't do it again. All I'm saying is that he should evaluate how he feels about her now and how he felt about her before. If he feels like he can't forgive, he's probably no longer in love, and perhaps never was to the extent that he believed previously. I'm not trying to devalue his love. I can only speak from personal experience, and in my experience, my need to stay with that person outweighed all rationality.

    • I know the husband should forgive from emotional point of view... but I was asking the advice regarding what will be right to do in this situation?

  • most definitely

    0|1
    0|0
  • Hell yeah it should bother him. I would be so heartbroken if my future husband cheated on me, with 2 girls! I'd have a long talk with her and sort things out. See why she did it, when, and would she ever. But she will need to earn your trust again. I wouldn't trust her right away or else it will end in hurt

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you for the advice... now what should be the next thing to do by the husband?

    • Show All
    • Thank you... for the clear cut answer..:)

    • You're welcome :)

  • If I was him, I would leave her

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you... does coming out clean earns her another chance?

    • Show All
    • Oh.. thats a waste.. you had a though time then.. he didn't changed himself... thank you... n all the best

    • Thank you :)

What Guys Said 10

  • Not everything is meant to be forgiven. Things like that is on that list

    I'd let it slide if she admitted it right off the bat, but if she has been hiding it until we got MARRIED then i'd see it as a problem, a big problem.

    0|2
    0|0
    • dartmaul, I keep upvoting you :)

    • Show All
    • @jacquesvol the problem is that cheating is hardest the first time. And happen once, shame on you. Happen twize, shame on me.
      Sometimes once is enough. And personally i got a zero tollerance for sober and planned cheating. And 3some kinda sounds planned to me...

    • Absolutely correct

  • Too darned right it should. If ever a future wife ever says that to me, I will respond with one word: Goodbye!

    0|1
    0|0
    • Thank you... but if she emotinally blackmails you by saying that it was a mistake and people make mistakes, one should not judge a person from his/her past deeds and should learn to forgive?

    • No. I disagree. Does a guy want to live forever knowing what has hapened? Always asking himself when it will happen again? There are NO excuses for infidelity, either by a girl OR a guy. None whatsoever! I do not subscribe to emotional blackmail. My attitude is love me, love me alone. Love someone else, even for 10 minutes of fun, then GO!

    • Thank you.. for your straight forward answer..

  • Two persons at a time !
    What made her do that?
    I guess she wanted sex...
    Ask her what made her do that?
    I personally would have gotten her checked for stds in the first place and demand for a paternity test if we have kids...
    The thing is, if she hadn't told would you know about that and divorce her? So is good she confessed to you, she could have kept quiet... So i suggest you forgive but make sure she believes that you will divorce her and change your mind later just to make sure she realizes that you won't entertain cheating in your relationship... What do you think?

    0|0
    0|0
    • You are right.. but you said in favour of both... so I did'nt get itit... what will be the right thing? What should he say and how should he control himselves from the fantasizing thoughts and fears that will keep on coming in his mind?

  • Yeahhhhh it should bother him

    0|1
    0|0
  • Of course that should bother him.

    I am all for forgiveness. We are human and make mistakes. But if she did this with two people she clearly didn't learn from the first mistake. So if this used to be a normal loving relationship he should say goodbye.

    If he was some guy that mistreated his wife he got what he deserved but he should still say goodbye... for her sake.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Sorry friend.. you got me wrong... it was not two times... but two at a time (means threesome)... she did'nt cheat twice... will your answer change now?

    • Oops. Yes, it changes a bit. When someone cheats on another person it can be because they were neglected and wanted attention. Not saying that they were right doing so by way. But when it is a threesome is not about neglect and attention. That is just about sex (or revenge in some cases).
      I would say Goodbye

    • Thank you...

  • He shouldn't say nothing, he needs to tell her to step outside than hurry up and lock the door so she can't get in, than while she's out side, grab all her clothes and throw them out the bedroom window, while singing Na Na Na Na, hey hey, goodbye.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It will probably be a massive let down and huge disappointment, i will look deep into the situation and take a decision

    0|0
    0|0
    • What should be the base of the decision?

    • haha what else, divorce is the first option on the table

  • "Hey bitch, care to bring those divorce papers from the cupboard drawer"

    0|0
    0|0
  • The Bible says he is supposed to leave her.

    0|0
    0|1
    • But again some says... forgiveness

    • Nope Bible says you need to leave her or you're guilty of adultery too.

    • Thank you... I will check once

  • An ex did that to me after a drunken long weekend.
    Three weeks later she announced she was pregnant, didn't know the guy.
    I paid her abortion.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Sorry... for you... but what happened after that?

    • Show All
    • I went to their marriage , gave them a present.
      A month later I met my wife.

    • Great... at last you got your destination.. all the best

Loading...