Is cheating part of the 'worse' from the 'for better or for worse' wedding vow?

"from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part"

If you take your wedding vows seriously, ...
Does that mean if your husband or wife cheats, you should stay with them and wait for better days to come?
Does that mean if your husband or wife beats you, you should stay with them and wait for better days to come?

If you shouldn't, what's part of the 'worse' days? The poorer days and sickness are already covered in the later part of the vow.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As you probably know from my profile, I'm married. Well to make my answer a little more interesting than "I do think so" or "I don't think so", we can look at Matthew 19:9, " And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” which is probably the other end of Genesis 24:67 (I doubt there was a Rabbai in that tent).

    I do think there is an option to forgive that person and move past it. But if you want off the hook, you're off the hook if its unfaithfulness.

    Other than that, you're pretty much stuck with them. That is a surprisingly good reason to try to work through things, if you take it seriously that way.

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    • Oh and to be exact, I don't think it applies to "for worse." I think that part of the vow only applies with having to live under a bridge or go through some hardship.

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    • Yeah, that sounds reasonable :)
      Back to your Matthew verse.. Does that mean
      1 You shouldn't divorce your wife for 'irreconcilable differences', only if she cheated on you?
      2 You should never marry a second time, especially not someone who's divorced?

    • #1: Yes, I believe it is saying that.
      #2: I don't really know since I haven't been there. I suspect if you marry a second time and you were cheated on and the partner you chose to marry was also cheated on in their previous relationship, it wouldn't be an issue. What he is saying there is that the "certificate of divorce" (Matthew 19:7) isn't really observed by God. It is merely a man-made custom. Another words two people can go to a judge and get "divorced", but they are basically still married, as the piece of paper means nothing. So when they elope, it is seen as adultery.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it refers to the adjustment period and rough patches that every couple goes through. Relationships aren't easy - they take work and sometimes nothing goes right and you want to give up. Pushing through these times is what I consider "worse".

    A person should never have to feel unsafe in their own home. No person should ever stay with their abusive partner. Cheating shows a fundamental lack of love and respect and I don't believe staying with your partner should be required.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I have no idea, but look at this stupid line right here ", till death does us part" which is in everyone's weddings vows yet, right? Yet MFs are quick to divorce each other at the 1st sign of #adversity these days. And this is why I don't see the point of marriage. Since someone can leave at anytime (it's all about the money baby not #love ) LOL.

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  • Cheating is horrible but it seems like people can actually forgive their spouse for cheating (I couldn't). I remember some tv show where a woman said she and her husband got a divorce when they realized they were just two people living together (i. e eating dinner, taking out the trash, paying bills). To me that sounds horrible, its like chewing gum that has lost it's taste but your still chewing it. I've always thought a "dead" marriage is the worse. When the love and passion is gone but your still together because it's convenient and routine.

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  • all marriages have problems good and bat stretches ok? this is normal no such thing as a ''perfect] marriage it all takes a effort and work ok? As a spouse u can give a 2nd chance on the cheating forgive them but maybe not too easy to forget the deed This is a trust/faithfulness issue And if the one who is the cheater through time proves they were truly sorry and builds your trust again not faking it then your marriage will become stronger ok? Don't be hateful or resentfull dredging up the deed But make it crystal clear the next time they cheat are unfaithful u leave and will divorce! Remember, we are human we have flaws are imperfect but we do and should have the capacity to forgive and give a 2nd chance! Trust takes time to rebuild but it can be restored again! The beating part u definitely leave! u are no punching bag! violence has no place n a loving marriage!

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  • Don't forget the part about " forsaking all others

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  • I can see an argument for believing that, yeah. But to be honest, I don't really care--I know myself well enough to know that I couldn't fulfill my on vows if she cheated on me. I just couldn't love her the same ever again.

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    • I'm not saying I believe it, but I'm wondering if that's what Hispanics think or if that's just how they are portrayed in the media.. extremely forgiving.

  • I don't know if for better or worse, has to do with cheaters...
    Adultery is a sin home girl, if she/he is sinning and winning, some one has to pay
    i think in that case divorce is ok
    cheaters should be left

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  • I think the "worse" refers more to having it thought economically, one part being sick/depressed and stuff like that. Domestic abuse and cheating are in my opinion legitimate reasons to divorce someone.

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    • But what you said is covered by the later part "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health".. isn't 'the worse' supposed to refer to something other than those two things?

    • Not in my opinion, at least not the abuse part. I mean if someone can get over something as sever as cheating in a relationship then props to them, but I don't think everyone would be able to do that. I mean, if you were 100% sure that the he/her would never ever cheat again, it might be another story, but you can never know that for sure.

  • Marriage is BS anyways, if you aren't happy and it doesn't look to get better then leave.

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  • Yeah that probably qualifies as a "worse" situation. A very ugly worse situation

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  • Only if it is the result of a bona fide mental illness. Other wise it's covered by the 'keeping yourself only for' part.

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  • I thought infidelity was a deal breaker. It certainly would be for me.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I don't think cheating plays in.
    Marriage is dealing with the downs. Infidelity is like, the most cruel of all.
    It breaks the vow from that end.

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  • Back when divorce wasn't accepted then yeah.

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  • For better or worse.

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  • Well, I definitely don't agree that if your husband/wife beats you you should stay. I'm unsure on whether or not I'd stay in a relationship (i. e. Forgive him) and try to work through it or leave without question if I was cheated on though.

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  • no it's not

    for me cheating is like breaking the marriage

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  • no you should not stay.

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