Would you go to your sibling's wedding if it was assumed you were invited... but weren't officially invited?

My brother and his fiance (have long been known as super flakey and not that considerate in general) are getting married at the end of September.

They never sent out "Save the Date" cards (that I know of) or formal invitations (that I know of). No one in our family was aware of the date until yesterday when my mom went over to drop something off at his house and inquired. My brother responded, "Oh! I thought you guys knew! It's Sept 26th."

Although I'm his sister, I dont' want to assume I'm invited and purchase plane tickets to go home for the wedding if I haven't been officially invited. I feel as though they are both adults and are capable of sending out invitations to those they want in the wedding. Even though I know the date through word of mouth, is it wrong to NOT go based on the fact the bride and groom never sent me an invitation?

I'm not super close with my brother to begin with, but I'm not sure if it's wrong to not go because I wasn't formally invited... or if it's wrong to show up if I wasn't formally invited. It's like I'm damned if I do go and damned if I don't.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Gee. do they want me or not? Should I go, or not? What do they want? How can I find out? Hmmmm. I wonder if I asked them if I would finally figure it out? "Hey guys. Did not get word from you about your wedding. Am I welcome?"

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    • I forgot to include the segment where I've tried reaching out to both of them via phone, text, email and FB messaging with no response, so that was a dead end.

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    • Still say do what I suggested. You cannot upend your life at the last minute or pay for tickets to something where you are not really wanted. Ask if you are wanted and if no answer, THAT is you answer. If it upsets them later, tell them it is time they grow up.

    • Thank you for MHO :-)

What Guys Said 4

  • Call your brother. "Hey! Congratulations! I hope your wedding is a huge success and that it goes exactly as planned. You didn't send out any invitations so I don't know if you want to keep it small and private or you want family there, so. . . tell me what I can do or not do and you've got it!"

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  • Sounds like a pretty low key thing, not a big deal. I would ask round about I suppose next you talk with him how wedding plans are going.

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  • well thats your sibling, you should still go i think :)

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  • I wouldn't assume anything. If I'm not invited, then I'm not going.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He's your brother... go

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  • Its probably a small affair and your brother beings man hasn't a clue about weddings.

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